MAY 27, 2015

(BMW images)
The BMW Group presented its new BMW 3.0 CSL Hommage - the BMW Design Team’s tribute to the iconic BMW 3.0 CSL Coupé from the 1970s - at the Concorso d’Eleganza Villa d’Este. “CSL” stands for “Coupé Sport Leichtbau” (coupé, sport, lightweight). With its aluminum hood, trunk, dramatic fenders, Plexiglas windows and equipment rigorously pared down to the bare essentials, the old BMW 3.0 CSL tipped the scales around 200 kg lighter than its sibling model, the BMW 3.0 CS, befitting its racing mission. In the 70s the material of choice was aluminum, however the BMW 3.0 CSL Hommage makes generous use of carbon fiber, reinterpreting the concept of lightweight design for the modern age. Wherever CFRP is used, it is also visible – reinforcing the lightweight design principle inside and out. “Our Hommage cars not only demonstrate how proud we are of our heritage, but also how important the past can be in determining our future,” says Adrian van Hooydonk, Senior Vice President BMW Group Design. “The BMW 3.0 CSL Hommage represents a nod to the engineering achievement exemplified by the BMW 3.0 CSL in its lightweight design and performance. With intelligent lightweight construction and modern materials, the 3.0 CSL Hommage brings the character of that earlier model into the 21st century, showing it in a new and exciting guise.”

Editor-in-Chief's Note: Our "Quick Take" this week has us in a 2015 BMW X5 M. What can possibly be said about this 5,100+ lb. monster? Despite all of its M accoutrements, its 567HP rippin' V8 (and make no mistake, it's a magnificent engine, I mean, wow, but it would be even more sensational in a vehicle weighing 2,000 pounds less) and its beautifully turned-out interior, to say that this is a ridiculous conveyance is the understatement of this or any year. The fact that BMW product planners sat around a conference table and said, in unison, "Yah, this is exactly what we need to do!" is mildly horrifying. This thing is as out of place driving around in the urban slog as Ndamukong Suh would be in a ballet class. It's so ponderous at slow speeds, you can literally feel the fuel being slurped down as you watch the gas needle scamper to "empty." Yes, once you get it rolling it's absolutely astounding what that kind of horsepower can do with that kind of mass, because this thing will smash you back in your seat in almost shocking fashion, but, really? The collective brain trust at BMW thought this and the equally ridiculous X6 M are absolutely essential for the BMW brand? That some of these manufacturers need a big bowl of "What the fuck are you guys thinking?" from someone with the cojones to actually speak their mind and throw a hand grenade of rational thought into the proceedings goes without saying. Somebody along the way with the power to do so should have said, "You know what? This thing is so stupid it makes my teeth hurt. Let's walk away before we make complete fools of ourselves." And all of that is before I even get to the price. $115,450 stinkin' dollars? And for what, exactly? So you can look like the biggest tool in the shed? Look, I get it. We live in a country where we have the freedom to pretty much buy what we want when it comes to cars and trucks, and that's a beautiful thing. Not everyone can be expected to get off on the same kinds of things, auto or otherwise, because that would be beyond boring, right? But this? It's the new quintessential definition of stupid money, folks. Let's see, for that amount of cash I could buy a Porsche Cayman GTS and a quite decent AWD beater for the winter. Or a brand new Corvette Z06 and have some change left over for a smoke and a pancake. Or a new Mercedes-Benz S-Class Coupe. Or two new Camaros. Or a big fat deposit on a BMW i8. Or a Ford GT. Or pay cash for three BMW i3s. I could go on, but feel free to plug in your own vehicle combos, because for that kind of money you could actually get something worth desiring. When BMW does these kinds of things it is completely infuriating. Why? Because if they're that tone-deaf about their own brand and they're that hell-bent about chasing every possible niche - both real and imagined - because they're deathly afraid that they'll miss a pile of money buried under a mattress somewhere that was specially earmarked for them, then I pity these fools. If BMW wants to cover the crossover and SUV market with a brace of vehicles, more power to 'em. But leave the M designation out of it, please. At least then they could retain a modicum of dignity.  -PMD

2015 BMW X5 M: $115,450 ($98,700 Base Price; Donington Grey Metallic; Mugello Red Full Merino Leather, $2,900; 4.4-liter, Direct-injected, 32-valve, BMW M TwinPower Turbo V-8 combining twin-scroll turbochargers with variable valve control (Double-VANOS and Valvetronic) with 567HP and 553lbs-ft of torque; 8-speed M Sport Automatic transmission with Sport and Manual shift modes, steering wheel-mounted paddle shifters and Launch Control; M-tuned xDrive all-wheel-drive system;  M Drive with M Dynamic mode; M chassis and suspension system; Ventilated, big ass 4-wheel anti-lock disc brakes (ABS); Dynamic Stability Control (DSC) including Brake Fade Compensation, Start-off Assistant, Brake Drying, Brake Stand-by features with Dynamic Traction Control (DTC) and Dynamic Brake Control; 21" M light alloy wheels, Xenon Adaptive Headlights with dynamic auto-leveling, Corona headlight-rings and Cornering Lights; LED foglights; Shadowline exterior trim; High-gloss shadowline roof rails; 18-way power, heated, M multi-function seats with 4-way lumbar support and driver's seat memory; Extended Merino Leather upholstery; Anthracite Alcantara headliner; Panoramic moonroof; Comfort Access keyless entry; Power tailgate; Park distance control and Rear-View camera; 3-spoke, power, leather-wrapped, multi-function M sport steering wheel; M specific instrument cluster; iDrive system with on-board computer and touchpad controller; BMW Navigation system with 10.2" high-resolution screen, Voice command and Advanced Real Time Traffic Information; Harman Kardon Surround Sound audio system with HD radio; Driver Assistance Plus - Active Blind Spot detection, Active Driving Assistance, Side and top view camera - $1,900; Executive Package - Heated steering wheel, Soft-close automatic doors, Rear manual side window shades, Ventilated front seats, Heated rear seats, Adaptive full LED lights, Automatic high beams, Head-up display, Concierge services - $4,500; Bang & Olufsen sound system, $3,700; Enhanced Bluetooth and Smartphone In, $500; NightVision with pedestrian detection, $2,300; Destination charge, $950)

Adherence to Brand Image: When it comes to True Believers, BMW's "M" group boasts some of the finest and most committed in this business. That they made this porky monster - the X5 M - do tricks with an eye-popping assortment of modifications and tweaks is a testament to just how good they are, but at the end of the day all of that talent was wasted on this vehicle. I could maybe see an X3 M, because there might be at least a shred of context to it, but this? No. -PMD