ON THE TABLE
Saturday, December 17, 2011 at 12:27PM December 21, 2011
HAPPY HOLIDAYS!
Enjoy our year-end issue, and we'll see you back here on January 11, 2012!
BEST OF “ON THE TABLE” 2011
As a panic, knee-jerk move this was remarkably stupid. The city of Beijing - in a panic, knee-jerk move to reduce vehicular traffic and pollution – said it would only allow 240,000 new cars to be registered in the city in 2011, shockingly, about one third the number of vehicles registered in 2010. Not surprisingly, dealers were instantly deserted. One Chery dealer reported he had not sold a car since Christmas Eve and didn’t expect to make any money this year. Estimates predicted that up to 50 percent of dealers could be forced out of business. And U.S. auto dealers think they have problems? Memo to the stumblebums in Beijing's - and China's - government: The Freedom of Mobility Genie is out of the bottle and now that your population has a taste of it, there's no turning back. So, get your anti-pollution measures in order - how about those coal-fired power plants by the way? - and figure out a way to make money off of it, like every other government in the world does. (1/5/11)
The cost of her private Jet, round trip to Detroit: $12,500. A new outfit: $1800. Hair and nails: $600. Her newfound irrelevance: Priceless. Nancy Pelosi, the former Speaker of the House came to the Detroit Auto Show Media Day because... actually, we don't have a clue why, other than it was an opportunity for her to waste everyone's time and contribute unnecessary chaos to the already chaotic press day. Thanks. (1/5)
As a matter of fact, you are the Evil Empire. And we look forward to going all medieval on your ass shortly. Editor-in-Chief's Note: Bob King, the UAW firebrand, speaking at the Automotive News World Congress, threatened to "expose" companies that don't agree to fair bargaining as "human rights violators," but didn't go as far as calling for a boycott - yet. Dave Shephardson, reporting for the Detroit News, compiled the following quotes from King's speech: "I would not want to be a company that was branded as a human rights violator," King said. "That would be a bad business decision." As Shepardson reported, the UAW has a war chest of $60 million set aside from its strike fund to work to organize U.S. auto plants owned by foreign automakers, and King has vowed to conduct global protests if they don't agree to fair union elections. "They spend millions of dollars trying to keep the UAW out of their facilities," King said, suggesting that it would be cheaper for these companies to acquiesce to the UAW's wishes. "These are all really good companies. We just have to convince them that we're not the Evil Empire that they think that we were at one point," King said. "The UAW has learned from the past." Oh really? Then King suggested that foreign automakers could be forced to spend hundreds of millions of dollars if they had to combat global protests by the UAW. "Wouldn't it be a lot more cost effective to work with the UAW, give workers their democratic right to decide if they want to be in a union." Just off the top of our heads, this is the union that has learned from the past? Not. This was the same old rhetoric, the same old threats, the same old delusional Bush League Bullshit that has always emanated from the UAW. I would say the UAW's "Evil Empire" status is alive and well and as abhorrent - and disgusting - as ever. – PMD (1/12)
Maybe you guys and gals should hang out once in a while, have a few pops, and GET A FRICKIN' CLUE AS TO WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON OUT THERE. From the “Bumbling Idiots R Us” File came word that Dan Akerson told the WSJ that the GM board of directors was "stunned" when "Big Ed" Whitacre resigned at a critical point before the IPO. Really? We knew the board was made up of a patchwork quilt of executives and former executives with intermittent and varying degrees of competence, but not having an inkling that "Big Ed" might have an alternate plan for his future? Nothing? (1/12)
From the “Hell freezes Over" File. Editor-in-Chief's Note: Ferrari had finally and officially lost it, apparently. The Italian car company with the impeccable heritage that's so famously and heroically intertwined with one of the greatest historical legacies in this business succumbed to the siren song of profit over integrity. The result? The disaster you see below. The new Ferrari FF (for Ferrari Four: four seats and four-wheel-drive) - which the company refers to it as being the most powerful and versatile four-seater ever - will replace the 612 Scaglietti in their lineup. Ferrari also insists it will be the most usable Ferrari and that it will be a formidable competitor for GT machines from Aston Martin, Audi, Bentley, BMW, Mercedes, Porsche, etc. Huh? "Versatile?" "Usable?" Are you kidding me? As if those words have any business being associated with the Ferrari name, mission and purpose. Using its much-lauded Formula 1 team as its beacon of technological might, Ferrari has stayed on message for a solid ten years now delivering one breathtaking street machine after another and it appeared that this company would never dumb-down its mission for anyone, adhering to it unfailingly and religiously. If you wanted a Ferrari, and were privileged enough to own one, then you became part of that single-minded mission to build the fastest, sexiest cars on the planet. Now? With this atrocity called the Ferrari FF, Ferrari has signaled that it wants to become more "approachable" and more "versatile" - two words that should never be associated with Ferrari under any circumstances or scenario. I don't care how fast the FF is - and no doubt it will be plenty fast with its 660HP V12 - mark my words, this car is the first crack in Ferrari's heretofore impenetrable focus and overriding mission. Next up? I don't doubt for a minute that Ferrari will build a four-door, four seater with generous amounts of "versatility" and "usable" cargo space. And the stop after that? Ferrari becomes just another car company in the swirling maelstrom of car companies jockeying for attention in the luxury-performance market. I have two more words for Ferrari to contemplate: Disgusting. And pathetic. - PMD (1/19)
(Ferrari)
He’s an egomaniacal corporate opportunist with an overwrought sense of himself, but other than that he’s a swell guy. Editor-in-Chief's Note: The battle for the Hearts and Minds of the media - automotive and otherwise, as well as consumers who bother to pay attention - well and truly began last winter. On the one side you had GM's PR troops, who were primed, ready and already going full-bore spinning the story that it was Morning Again at General Motors, and that Dan Akerson was the visionary who will lead the company back to the promised land through a laser-like focus on the customer. On the other side you had me – who was soon to be joined by others (as soon as they got their heads out of their asses and started burrowing through the fog of war laid down by GM's PR troops) - who saw a different Dan Akerson, one who was an egomaniacal corporate opportunist with an overwrought sense of himself who had been handed the keys to an American icon simply because he was the best alternative that the board of directors had at the moment. And who would now put his newfound - and instantly accrued - "wisdom" about the car business to work in remaking the company, even though that wisdom was more knee-jerk reactionary pronouncements than earned understanding of what's really going on. It was going to be delicious to see how all of this played out but one thing was certain, traditional PR tactics were not going to work this time. This is a different time and a different era and there isn't enough "spin" at the disposal of GM PR's troops to present "Lt. Dan" as the next auto industry messiah. He was woefully miscast in that role, and there isn't enough "there" there. – PMD (1/26)
Just take us all out back and shoot us and get it over with. Bad roads in the state of Michigan might double by 2015 due to the drop in gas tax revenue, according to the Detroit Free Press. And that was just on the state-maintained main roads and freeways. City and country roads would get even worse due to the lack of funding. Ugh. (1/26)
Yeah, and even though it has been 50 years since we whipped your ass the last time, don’t think for a minute we won’t do it again. From the "Ford vs. Ferrari Wars, Round II" File came word that the Dearborn-based automaker had sued Ferrari in Detroit federal court, saying the sports car maker has violated its trademark over the pickup truck name F-150 According to the Associated Press, the suit stemmed from the fact that Ferrari had named its new Formula 1 racer the "F150," and created the website http://www.ferrarif150.com. Ford asked a judge to block Ferrari from using the trademark in the U.S. saying that its trademark was being harmed. Ford also sought unspecified damages from Ferrari. The Ferrari website insisted that the "F150" marked the 150th anniversary of the unification of Italy. Not long after, Ferrari caved and said that it would use the full name -- "Ferrari F150th Italia" -- for its 2011 Formula One car in order to avoid any conflict with Ford. (2/9)
Who are all the "experts" who were so sure that there was something wrong with the black boxes in Toyotas gonna call, now, Ghostbusters? After an extensive 10-month investigation involving NASA engineers, the Feds found no electronic flaws in Toyota vehicles to explain sudden, unintentional acceleration, according to a report released by NHTSA. "We enlisted the best and the brightest engineers to study Toyota’s electronic systems, and the verdict is in. There is no electronic-based cause for unintended high-speed acceleration in Toyotas,” Ray LaHood said in a statement. Gee, thanks. (2/9)
The Bottom Line? If Penske & Co. couldn't make a go of Smart in this market, Mercedes didn't have a snowball's chance in hell of doing anything with the brand either. Editor-in-Chief's Note: Mercedes-Benz took over the distribution of Smart vehicles from Penske Automotive Group here in the U.S. for a few solid reasons. This market was the only market around the world where Mercedes and Smart had separate distribution networks, and Mercedes needed more small car volume leading up to the ramp-up of 2016 fuel economy standards. Roger Penske -- with ex-GM marketing executive Jill Lajdziak at the helm -- did everything in his power to make Smart a viable entity in this market, but the realities of the product overcame any of its positives. When $4.00 per gallon gas took hold of the country the launch of Smart looked pretty uh, smart. But when gas prices tumbled back down the glaring limitations of the Smart car became even more noticeable. In context the Smart car's mileage was never that great, and with each arrival of a new small car entry into the market its mileage looked merely average. But the recalcitrant transmission was the car's Achilles Heel, and it just never got better and it never got fixed. And in typically classically arrogant German car executive fashion, the powers that be at Mercedes-Benz had no idea that the Smart car wasn't going to contribute anything of significance to their fuel economy bottom line by 2016, because there was no compelling reason - not one - as to why people should buy the car. – PMD (2/16)
But then again with rational thought in such short supply in those touchy-feely enclaves, should we really have expected anything else? Editor-in-Chief's Note: The Obama Administration proposed that this country go "all-in" for electric and extended-range electric vehicles in the new budget, basically cutting clean diesel and other technologies off at the knees. Memo to the Obama administration and the other political boneheads in Washington and Northern California: The Electrification of America is a pipe dream that won't resolve itself anytime soon. To not embrace clean diesels is a monumental, shortsighted mistake. Ridiculous. – PMD (2/16)
Now, if Porsche stops making cars for the True Believers, then all bets are off and I'll fire up the long guns once again. But in the meantime, I'll take my 2012 911 Carrera S Coupe in Black, please. Editor-in-Chief's Note: My rants against Porsche for their forays into SUV Hell and other transgressions against the brand -- four door sedans, anyone? -- are now familiar to longtime readers of this publication. My rationale was that every time one of these "non" Porsches was unleashed into the market, a little bit more of the authentic Porsche brand essence and character was chipped away with it. I still believe that and it still pisses me off greatly, but there's no denying that the profits generated by buyers who don't give a shit about brand essence has paid off handsomely for Porsche. And with the emerging Chinese market now dominating basically every decision made at car companies around the world, the operating principles pushed forth by Porsche that go something like this -- "we will put our crest on anything that moves if it will make us enough money" -- can't be argued with. A stretched, longer wheelbase Panamera for the Chinese market? Why not? A version of the Audi Q5 called the Cajun? It doesn't matter, it will make a fortune. As long as Porsche keeps making cars for the True Believers that still reek of the Porsche essence and look, feel and most important drive like "real" Porsches -- at least for the dwindling few of us left that remember what that was really like, anyway -- then it's not "all good" by any means, but it is the reality of the Chinese-driven automotive market we're living in today. I fought the good fight, but ultimately I was wrong. – PMD (2/16)
And oh by the way, all it did was remind us of just how bad we missed Pontiac. Desperate to skew younger, the GM's Buick division signed a three-year marketing deal with the NCAA, so that we’d be seeing lots of Buick ads during March Madness. Buick was basically filling the marketing space that Pontiac used to occupy with the NCAA before it was taken out back and shot. We wished Buick the best because, after all, aligning with the NCAA means they have to deal with that smarmy, slimy, mercenary bunch of duplicitous scumbags on a weekly basis, which qualifies as being above and beyond the call as far as we were concerned. Sigh. (3/16)
Editor-in-Chief’s Note: By March we had grown tired of all the hype being generated by interlopers and outsiders telling us what Detroit was and could be. It was often inaccurate and disingenuous, and just plain tedious to boot. WordGirl came out with guns blazing and summed-up our feelings perfectly with her on-target mini-rant (below). - PMD
Editor's Note: Now that Detroit is front and center in the news once again - this time because of its dramatic population decline in the 2010 census - we just love the barrage of instant experts weighing in on how to 'fix' the city. (The stuff in AdAge of late in particular has been excruciatingly lame.) The Motor City has become the cause du jour for the so-called creative class, and its members are all too happy to heap praise on what a rich opportunity this town presents - it's a blank canvas, ripe for innovation and entrepreneurs, blah, blah, blah.... Talk about late to the party - like 40 years late. Detroit has been in decline for decades but all of a sudden it's on the radar screen as a great 'creative project' - a fixer-upper, if you will. Isn't that special? Most conspicuous in this discussion are the out-of-town Shiny Happy Ad People who have landed in Detroit to work on the auto accounts. And guess what? They think Detroit is great - just brimming with potential. Why, one ad principal is even considering buying a big house in Detroit so his staff can make extended visits to town! Wow, that's HUGE! Isn't a tax write-off always better than a bunch of silly hotel expense account reports? It is tedious beyond belief to have to endure this drivel, not to mention just a bit disingenuous - especially in the case of the late-arriving ad types (yeah, you know who you are). They are here because there's money to be made from the auto companies, pure and simple. Would they come here voluntarily? Not on your life. And please stop making a big deal about setting up shop in downtown Detroit rather than in the suburbs - it's dirt cheap, people, not some grand gesture in urban renewal. And of course these Detroit 'saviors' are rooting for Detroit's comeback - it means they'll all get to keep their jobs. Bottom line: It's all too easy to talk about potential and innovation and 'BIG IDEAS' for Detroit when you spend all of your non-working hours at the bar of the Book Cadillac Hotel. Oh, and one more thing - that Idea: Detroit Conference yesterday where everyone was lauding the idea of sleeping bag coats for the homeless? How about fucking homes for the homeless????? – WG (3/23)
From the "Can It Really Get Any More Grim Here?" File came word that Detroit's population had plunged 25 percent -- to 713,777 people -- according to the 2010 U.S. Census, the lowest count for the city since 1910. That was down 237,493 residents from 2000. Detroit was once the fourth-largest city in the U.S. Now, it was 18th, below Austin and Fort Worth, Texas; Charlotte, Jacksonville and Columbus, Ohio. Detroit's precipitous drop in population rivaled the 29 percent drop by New Orleans after Hurricane Katrina, although Detroit lost more people than New Orleans, which lost 139,834. With its founding automobile industry decimated by global economic pressures and the massive contraction and layoffs that ensued, and a city that's been the poster child for the term Bureaucratic Quagmire for going on 30 years, the Motor City was running on about three of its eight cylinders. Needless to say, it was a Cobo Hall-sized bowl of Not Good. (3/23)
There's a very fine line between suggesting that Porsches aren't too special to be enjoyed every day in their ads and various communication platforms, and getting to the point that consumers actually start believing it. Editor-in-Chief's Note: The ugly manifestation of Porsche's drive to increase volume in order to contribute to the VW Empire (even though the deal still wasn't done yet) was starting to rear its ugly head in its latest round of marketing in the U.S. market. Ads suggesting that Porsches can function as daily drivers, even on Mondays, Shiny Happy Porsches giddily driving in the snow, Porsches thriving while doing errands, etc., etc., etc. The message being: Don't think of Porsche as just being a "special" car for special occasions, rather, think of it as car you can enjoy every day. On the one hand, yes, Porsches are perfectly capable of being enjoyed every day. I've done it myself with various 911s many times in the past. But with this new marketing campaign Porsche is playing with fire, because there's a very fine line between suggesting that Porsches aren't too special to be enjoyed every day in their ads and various communication platforms, and getting to the point that consumers actually start believing and taking for granted that Porsches indeed are not all that special anymore. That they're too prevalent and just well, too common. Mercedes-Benz tried the whole "more approachable" tack a while ago and they were still trying to overcome it. And even though M-B points to sales records, the Mercedes brand image just doesn't convey the specialness that it once enjoyed. As for Porsche, you can't tell them anything, especially when German marketers are involved. They know everything about the U.S. market until they don't. Then the excuses will flow like water. Can Porsche marketing honchos keep a lid on the Porsche brand image while pumping up the volume? We shall see, but I for one am not counting on it. – PMD (3/30)
Editor-in-Chief's Note: Our occasional Left Coast correspondent, Tom Pease, weighed-in on the current state of Porsche marketing in another “Letter from L.A.” - PMD
It's possible, I suppose.
By Tom Pease
Beverly Hills. The other day I was walking down Rexford Drive and saw something that would no doubt warm the cockles of Porsche management's stony little hearts: an all-Porsche family. Dad was unloading the Panamera on the street, Mom was setting up the kiddie seats in the back of the Cayenne in the driveway, and sitting looking rather dusty and forlorn in the carport was the family Boxster. So now Porsche has the brilliant idea to tell them that they can use the Boxster to hit Costco? It's possible, I suppose. It's possible to hit Costco in a rickshaw, a Harrier Jet or on a pogo stick. Whether it makes much sense to do so is a different matter. I'm sure this family will be eagerly be awaiting the Porsche Paprika pick-up for those Costco or Home Depot runs while the poor, sad little Boxster gathers more dust. I wish I could liberate it for a fast run to the Starbucks 3 blocks away on Beverly, preferably via Mulholland... (3/30)
Perfection. P.J. O’Rourke's hilarious diatribe against the burgeoning movement of adding bicycle lanes throughout cities across the world (including New York) in the Wall Street Journal was priceless. Opening with "A fibrosis of bicycle lanes is spreading through the cities of the world. The well-being of innocent motorists is threatened as traffic passageways are choked by the spread of dull whirs, sharp whistles and sanctimonious pedal-pushing..." P.J.'s screed gets better from there, with so many great bits throughout the piece that you owed it to yourself to check it out. But we left our readers with this one: "This promotion of childishness in the electorate means that bike lanes are just the beginning. Soon we'll be making room on our city streets for scooter and skateboard lanes, Soapbox Derby lanes, pogo-stick lanes, lanes for Radio Flyer wagons (actually more practical than bicycles since you can carry a case of beer - if we're still allowed to drink beer), stilt lanes, three-legged race lanes, lanes for skipping while playing the comb and wax paper, hopscotch lanes and Mother-May-I lanes with Mayor Bloomberg at the top of Lenox Hill shouting to the people on Park Avenue, 'Take three baby steps!'" (4/6)
Please pull over to the "Curl Up In The Fetal Position" Lane and get the fuck out of our way. The Texas state House passed a bill that would allow some highways in the state to have an 85 mph speed limit. The state Senate is also considering a similar bill. We'd seen all of the hand-wringing over this one, but the fact of the matter was that if you'd never driven in West Texas you’d have no idea what it was really like out there, and an 85 mph speed limit made perfect sense. You can go for miles without seeing anyone, and you have to put your foot in it just to keep awake. So we applauded the Texas legislature, and we hoped the idea would catch on in other states where the great wide open should mean more than just the clear blue skies. (4/13)
Oh, wait a minute, we forgot. Irrational thinking and plausible deniability is your raison d'etre, isn't it? When you look at it that way this boneheaded "Act" was a thing of beauty. Reps. Judy Biggert, R-Ill.; Ed Markey, D-Mass.; Jerry McNerney, D-Calif.; and Anna Eshoo, D-Calif., introduced the Electric Drive Vehicle Deployment Act in the U.S. House to provide grants of up to $300 million to help regional communities establish themselves as models for the successful development, installation, and deployment of advanced electric vehicle infrastructure, including public charging stations. As first reported by David Shepardson in the Detroit News, the measure would also provide up to 500,000 people with additional $2,000 tax credits to buy EVs - on top of the existing $7,500 federal tax credit. The bill was nothing new, as it was similar to legislation in 2010 and mimiced most of what President Barack Obama proposed earlier this year. "If we're ever to break our addiction to expensive foreign oil, we're going to have to give a jump-start to sound alternatives. Consumers want to enjoy a cheaper, gas-free commute, but they need to have confidence in their access to things like charging stations," Biggert said. Really? All consumers want a gas free commute? Where? In the handful of cities across America where that's even possible? No, Biggert, if we're ever going to reduce our dependence on foreign oil consumers will have to make more informed choices while shopping the high-mileage gasoline powered cars available in the market right now, because there are plenty of them. Throwing our tax money at people so that they'll adhere to some warped vision of a Shiny Happy transportation nirvana of the future as envisioned by politicians in Washington and Northern California was a non-starter and a giant waste of our time and money. (5/4)
The AE "Duh" of the Week. Headline in that week's Automotive News - "Facebook: Fun - but sells few cars." The dealers were just figuring this out? Yikes. (5/4)
Could that pinpoint of fiber-optic light at the end of the tunnel actually be a looming train wreck? GM was getting quite vocal about moving GMC further upscale, away from Chevrolet. There was only one problem with that. The farther GM pushes GMC into the upper echelons of the market the more it bumps up against the Cadillac lineup of premium SUVs and trucks. Wasn't this what got GM in trouble in the first place when it couldn't sort out the clashes of its divisions in the market? Yes. Could it be possible that GM, even after culling down its brands, could end up right where they left off before the bankruptcy? GM says an emphatic "no" but we've seen this movie before. (5/11)
That's what happens when you spend too much time talking about "Joy" and patting each other on the back instead of focusing on the core values that once made BMW great. Executives from the German automaker were deeply puzzled as to why the 5-series GT had been a total failure in the U.S. market, which was yet another reminder of just how out of touch most marketing executives are at these German automakers. Hmm, why didn't the 5-series GT sell over here? Let's review, shall we? 1. It's butt ugly. 2. It's overpriced. 3. Did we mention how singularly unattractive it is? 4. Giant hatchbacks never sell here. Period. And 5. Owners got tired of pulling up to the country club and being asked, "What is that?" And BMW execs actually thought that when they discontinued the 5-series wagon here last year that the 5-series GT would be just the ticket for BMW wagon buyers looking to trade-in? How about no? Oh well, BMW will quietly fade the 5-series GT out hoping that people will just forget about it. But give these guys some time because they'll figure out something else to screw up again, we have no doubt. (5/25)
No Shit. An advisory board commissioned by Toyota after its spate of safety recall trouble suggested that after finally becoming No. 1 in the world the company got caught-up in arrogance followed by complacency. And that was our AE "Duh of the Week." (5/25)
What happens when all of the Corvette Enthusiasts die off? Automotive News reported that the next-generation Corvette would be a 2014 model available in the fall of 2013. Uh, that means the C8 will probably be a 2020 model available in the fall of 2019, from what we're hearing. Yikes. (6/1)
From the “Carpetbagging Enablers” File. Editor-in-Chief’s Note: I drafted a memo to all the board members who would be in attendance at GM’s annual shareholder’s meeting last June in Detroit: While you’re beholding your Esteemed Leader (Dan Akerson) and shouting the obligatory "huzzahs!" welcome to the cold, hard, High-Octane Truth. You’re a bunch of carpet-bagging enablers who have no business being associated with what was once one of America’s glittering corporate icons. Instead of Doing the Right Thing when you had the chance your abject refusal to seek out and find the proper, credentialed executive leader to run this company all but ensures that “three or four years from now” (according to Akerson’s timetable) you’re going to find yourselves right back in the thick of it trying to figure out how best to get this company jump-started again. Congratulations, because there has never been a time in American business history when so few have done so much damage to so many in the guise of corporate governance. Unforgivable. And flat-out inexcusable. – PMD (6/8)
From the “Oh Please Just Shut Up” File. Editor-in-Chief's Note: GM’s CEO told The Detroit News in a now infamous interview that he wanted to boost sales of luxury cars, and revealed GM's plan to launch two new Cadillac models next summer as 2013 models: the XTS large sedan (which replaces the DTS and STS) and the ATS compact sedan. "They're not going to blow the doors off," he said, "but they will be very competitive." On the one hand I applaud Akerson's honesty, but on the other hand "good enough" hasn't been good enough in this business for oh, at least a decade. And particularly for American car companies emerging from bankruptcy, good enough will never be "good enough." – PMD (6/8)
Who do you think's gonna win this argument? On the one hand, the Chinese investment into Volvo by Li Shufu's Zhejiang Geely Holding Group would save the brand from extinction. On the other, according to The Wall Street Journal, there was a whole raft of new issues that had cropped up in the process. Li Shufu wanted Volvo to go upscale and embrace the luxury class in the Chinese market. Volvo's chief in Europe, Stefan Jacoby, wanted Volvo to concentrate on more mainstream car sales before they can attack the luxury market. (6/8)
This "learning the hard way" thing is well... hard, ain't it? The Japanese automaker formerly known as "The Juggernaut" – Toyota - was now saying it had no interest in being No. 1 anymore. That they were focusing on quality and customer satisfaction, according to Automotive News. (6/15)
Corvette Rules. Corvette Racing won the 24 Hours of Le Mans in its class for the seventh time and the 2012 Corvette ZR1 lapped the famed 12.9-mile, 154-turn Nurburgring Nordschleife course in 7 minutes 19.63 seconds, beating its previous time set in 2008 by more than six seconds. Corvette engineer and talented driver Jim Mero was again behind the wheel for the hot lap, and the new Michelin Pilot Sport Cup tires had a lot to do with it too. Watch it here. (6/15)
But then again, Sergio's a genius and never makes mistakes, right? Right. Speaking of Dodge, Sergio Marchionne won't admit it so we'll do it for him. The splitting of Dodge into two divisions - Dodge and Ram Truck - is quickly approaching AE's "Bonehead Marketing Move of the Year" status. It made no sense then, it makes even less sense now. They're Dodge trucks. Period. (6/15)
They don’t call him "Captain Clueless" for nothin’. Bob King kept insisting he was going to organize a foreign automaker's plant here in the U.S. this year. But as long as people like Rocky Long were in the majority, King and his union minions didn't stand a chance. Long, who had worked at Hyundai's Montgomery, Alabama, assembly plant for five years told Tim Higgins and Keith Naughton reporting for Bloomberg News, “I don’t see any problems here. I don’t see how they could help me out.” Of the union representatives who came to his home this year, Long added, “I really didn’t give them the time of the day.” (6/22)
Please refer to one of our other websites, whogivesashit.com. AE's "Most Instantly Deletable Story of the Week" went to TheStreet.com as it discussed the "5 Most Overpriced Used Cars of 2011." Really? (6/22)
Proving yet again what single men have known for a long time: Chicks dig hot cars. A study by University of Texas at San Antonio researchers suggested that men who wear expensive clothes and drive flashy cars are more successful at having flings and staying single than their financially conservative counterparts, as reported by Reuters. And that was our AE “Duh of the Week.” (6/22)
He’s the Man. Alan Mulally was named "2011 Chief Executive of the Year," an honor bestowed upon an outstanding corporate leader, nominated and selected by a group of his or her peers. Nominations for CEO of the Year were garnered from among the 147,000 readers of Chief Executive magazine. The 10 most frequently cited nominations were evaluated and a winner voted upon at a meeting of a peer Selection Committee, which took place earlier this year in New York City. Prior CEO of the Year winners include such luminaries as Bill Gates, Jack Welch, Michael Dell, Andy Grove and Herb Kelleher. "The success he showed in the face of incredible difficulty was just extraordinary," said James Turley, chairman and CEO, Ernst & Young and member of the 2011 Selection Committee. "The foresight he showed throughout the process, the courage he showed in making some tough decisions on popular brands, the global mindset he showed, and above all, the statesmanship he showed when two major competitors were on the public dole shows he was thinking for the good of the country as well as his company and industry." "The turnaround and triumph of Ford is an amazing success story, due largely to his talents, leadership and courage," said Monsanto CEO Hugh Grant and 2010 CEO of the Year. "It's a turnaround not only of an American icon but more importantly, a global icon, as well." Amen. (6/29)
A very depressing AE Quote of the Week. The anti-car movement was gaining steam all over Europe, and it was more than a little disconcerting to European automobile manufacturers to say the least. In a story that ran in the New York Times, with the headline "Europe Stifles Drivers in Favor of Alternatives" the picture for the automobile was looking grim. In Zurich, the anti-car message was everywhere you went. Circling around Löwenplatz, one of Zurich’s busiest squares, "cars are now banned on many blocks. Where permitted, their speed is limited to a snail’s pace so that crosswalks and crossing signs can be removed entirely, giving people on foot the right to cross anywhere they like at any time." reported the Times. "As he stood watching a few cars inch through a mass of bicycles and pedestrians, the city’s chief traffic planner, Andy Fellmann, smiled. 'Driving is a stop-and-go experience,' he said. 'That’s what we like! Our goal is to re-conquer public space for pedestrians, not to make it easy for drivers.' " (6/29)
Nicely done. GM donated $2.5 million through its General Motors Foundation to the College for Creative Studies in Detroit. The college will rename an auditorium after the automaker. (6/29)
This is going nowhere good, fast, folks. Count on it. With the Obama Administration hell bent on pushing a new fleet wide mileage standard with an average of 56.2 mpg for cars and light trucks by the 2025 model year, battle lines were being drawn and predictably the political agendas threatened to overwhelm any practical realities involved, especially in terms of the costs of these standards. When you had politicos trying to tell an industry how much this stuff is going to cost per car - when their numbers were based on a fantasy land cocktail of enviro-think and "formulas" generated by sympathetic denizens of academia – they were bound to get it horribly wrong. (6/29)
More AE Quotes of the Week. Holman W. Jenkins, Jr., writing in the Wall Street Journal, thrashed the Obama administration over their serial incompetence in the handling of the fuel economy mandates being discussed at the moment. In a piece entitled "Overcaffeinated Cafe" Jenkins unloaded a series of pointed blasts at the brainiacs in Washington toiling under the guise of "helping" America and Americans. Here's just a sampling: "Asking consumers, meanwhile, to bear the cost of fuel-economy improvements they don't value will cause them to keep their old cars on the road longer. And in pursuit of what benefits? If we junked every gasoline-powered car in America, it would have no appreciable impact on global carbon dioxide. If, as Mr. Obama intends, we switch to electric cars, those cars would be powered by coal, so the alleged atmospheric dividend will be doubly elusive." It was well worth the read. (7/6)
The clock is ticking on your fifteen minutes, pal. When recently asked by Automotive News what his biggest challenge ahead would be, Chrysler’s marketing guru, Olivier Francois responded with the following: "Continue to work to improve the 'coolness' of our brands. We have to increase our awareness and recognition to get closer to people. This is part 1. Then part 2 is to deliver the brand-specific messages: luxury for Chrysler, sporty for Dodge and capability for Jeep." Hmmm, let's review shall we? As for Part 1, the "Coolness" of your brands? To be kind, that's a work in progress that will likely never be completed. And as long as you keep insisting that the 200 is - in any way, shape, or form - "cool" then you're deluding yourself and not doing much for your professional integrity. But since you're a genius maybe that's not a concern. As for all the work you've been doing on this "cool" factor, all of the various re-flashes of the Eminem Super Bowl spot? They really aren't making a dent. The SB spot was a one-time, lightning-in-a-bottle event. And you've beaten that to death many times over. The stuff that's selling? Trucks. So you're not exactly above the prevailing winds of the market even though you think you operate in rarefied air. As for the brand specific messages, again, Chrysler will never be equated with luxury as long as you trot out the 200 as your entry-level luxury car, because there's no there, there. Sporty for Dodge? Yes and no. Monster V8s and bad-ass cars only can take you so far. You best be careful that Dodge doesn't become the company for nostalgia rods and police cars, because you're only a couple of ticks away from being just that. Jeep? You'd have to be crazy to screw that up. But then again, I've seen some crazy things in this business over the years. The Bottom Line? With every public pronouncement, every inside company event, and every piece of communication you've put out about these brands, it all seems to be wrapped in an air of invincibility and a palpable "we're smarter than thou" smarmy arrogance that is off-putting and flat-out offensive to the people in this business who know better. And what do those people know best? Those not-as-smart-as-you denizens of this business who have done it before and who will likely do it again many times over, long after you're back in France ensconced and awash in your "genius" reputation? They know that the automobile business as is defined in this chaotic 22nd century is a frickin' roller-coaster of wild up and down swings, punctuated by fleeting moments of euphoria and gut-wrenching, lingering mistakes. Not to mention that the history of this business is littered with people who were just as smart if not smarter than you who royally screwed-up. Big-time. And this just in, Francois - you're not above any of it, either. Just remember that when you're boring yet another audience by showing a spot that first ran six months ago. – PMD (7/6)
Not having a clue is one thing, but to flaunt that fact with malicious, abject stupidity while actually thinking you have got it goin' on is criminal. Editor-in-Chief's Note: Every time I gave Wieden+Kennedy - Dodge's ad agency - the benefit of the doubt and assume that they seem to finally get it, they pulled their now familiar Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde routine and came up with such a blatantly nonsensical spot that it had me questioning their sanity at best, and wondering if anyone out in Auburn Hills - and that means you Olivier "I'm a frickin' ad genius just ask me" Francois - had a clue whatsoever as to what they're doing. The latest evidence? The new Dodge Durango spot entitled "Long Lost Performance" is so filled with gibberish and utter bullshit that I don't know where to begin. First of all, while showing dilapidated and abandoned old race tracks, the premise of the spot revolves around the fact that we're living in a downtrodden era that is deprived of automotive performance and that people have even forgotten what real performance is all about. Really? In an era of 550hp Cadillacs, 400hp+ Mustangs and Camaros, 400, 500 and even 600hp Corvettes, 600hp Mercedes, 400 and 500hp Audis and BMWs and 300 and 400hp trucks, we're living in an era deprived of performance? What planet are you guys living on? Oh, that's right, you live in the Free Republic of Portland, Oregon - like San Francisco, a solar system unto itself - where reality rarely creeps into the equation and where everyone has a huggable day. And then, to make matters worse, the punch line of the spot suggests that the new Dodge Durango is the answer to all of our performance ills and that it puts the "sport" back into SUV. Huh? This spot smacks of everything I absolutely loathe about modern car advertising, clueless ad agencies and the marketing people responsible for such dismal trash. And in case you're wondering, even if they had used the Challenger or Charger the premise would still be fatally flawed. We're currently living in what will be considered to be the Golden Era of high-performance in the not-too-distant future, an era likely never to be repeated again (and even if we do it will be exponentially much more costly), so, when I see such blatant disregard for the facts, a stunning lack of awareness and such utter cluelessness such as this, it just makes me cringe. Flat-out inexcusable. – PMD (7/20)
It might try to wrap its products in the flag every chance it gets, but make no mistake, there are only two domestic automakers left in the U.S. Chrysler’s Supreme Leader Sergio Marchionne told reporters and analysts that despite the infusion of Italian culture and management teams he's going to pick the best executives for the jobs at hand and that he won't screw-up the "American-ness" of Chrysler, ever. Hmmm. We think he's confusing the "one-hit wonder" Super Bowl commercial and the snow job that his marketing guru - Olivier "I'm a frickin' genius, just ask me" Francois - has pulled on him with the reality of the situation. The new Chrysler is no longer an American car company, period. It's an Italian-owned entity that does business here. (7/27)
We give up. From the "Hell Is Freezing Over" File came word that VW - Bentley 's parent company - was investigating developing an SUV for the traditional luxury automobile brand. Well, with Porsche deriving all of its profits from the Cayenne SUVs and with Ferrari building honest-to-goodness sport wagons, what's the difference? Those clinging to the good ol' days of brand purity at this point better get used to the fact that those days are long gone. (7/27)
People used to believe in the brand with an unwavering devotion. Now? There are too many choices out there equal to or better than Honda, and besides, what does Honda stand for again? Exactly. Editor-in-Chief's Note: Just how treacherous is this image wrangling stuff? Consumer Reports blasted the 2012 Honda Civic, dropping it 17 points on its rating scale and calling it "too low to be recommended." Ouch, Baby. This is after the Civic has been the darling of the magazine for years. To its credit, Honda fired back saying, "In virtually every way, the completely redesigned 2012 Civic is a step forward. The new Civic excels in areas that matter to small-car customers, including fuel efficiency, safety, and reliability," in a released statement. So what is going on here, exactly? First of all, did Honda all of a sudden "unlearn" how to build cars? Of course not. Is the new Civic the "wow machine" everyone was expecting? No, but it's not 17 points worse than the old one, which means to us that the Honda image has taken such a beating of late that even the hand-wringers at Consumer Reports have to find fault with it. It's as if they were let down and wanted to spank Honda for it. We don't think much of CR around here, never have. But we know a lot of people take their word as the be-all and end-all, which is too bad. Could Honda have done better? Absolutely. But the reality is their short-term thinking and hyper conservatism is starting to bite them in the ass. The Civic is a decent car, although the cheapened interior bits are inexcusable. (The Civic Si is an excellent car, btw.) But the Bottom Line here is that Honda has lost its mojo, both internally and with much of the car-buying public. Even with CR. Like I've said many, many times before in this publication, developing, establishing, honing and maintaining an image is the most delicate task in this business. Get it right and it pays dividends for years to come. Get it wrong, and well, it takes years and years to recover. Mercedes-Benz had it right for a long time with "Engineered Like No Other Car in the World" and BMW did as well with its "The Ultimate Driving Machine" tag lines. And yet you can blow-it up real good in just a couple of quarters, like Mercedes did with "Unlike Any Other" and BMW almost did with its "Joy" misstep. Honda needs to get real about its current lot in automotive life. – PMD (8/3)
Don't believe it? Oh, just watch... Why didn't the automakers put up more of a fight over the new CAFE standards? That's easy: 1. It would have been a PR nightmare if they even raised a hand in question against the standards because every card-carrying member of the green "intelligentsia" would crucify them in the media. And 2. The likelihood of those standards being in effect by then? Uh, 50-50 at best. (8/3)
And here we were hoping he'd micromanage his way to oblivion. The good news? Sergio tells reporters at the Traverse City Management Conference that he will leave, eventually. The bad news? It won't be until 2015 or 2016. The really bad news? His micromanagement "style" will leave an organization dependent on his "vision" - and totally dysfunctional to boot. Good times. (8/3)
Turning Opel around? Good luck with that. GM wants to take Opel upmarket in Europe to compete more head-on with VW, presenting the Opel brand as a competent alternative. Then they want to establish Chevrolet as GM's entry-level brand. It's a good plan in theory, but Opel's legacy and reputation have been so tarnished of late that GM's once strong German brand is reeling because of it. It will take time and a ton of money just to move the needle a little bit for Opel in the German market. Just remember it took Audi twelve long years to turn its image around in its homeland. (8/10)
This business is fun when things come together, right? The Dearborn-based automaker bet big on V6 engines for its F-150 pickups several years ago in the development phase - when the skeptics said it wouldn't work - and now they're reaping the benefits of that decision. Ford's 3.7-liter normally-aspirated V6 and its 3.5-liter direct-injected turbocharged EcoBoost V6 now account for more than 55 percent of F-150 truck sales, combined. (8/17)
It ain't pretty. And it ain't fun. The city of Livonia, Michigan was named the worst speed trap in the entire country by the National Motorists Association. Guess what? The entire SE Michigan Tri-County region (Oakland, Macomb & Wayne counties) is a speed trap. With a state crushed by a recession-bordering-on-depression for going on four years now, the "radar cowboys" have been doing their revenue-generating level best to keep the various town budgets somewhat solvent. Standard operating procedure now is that no matter how fast you're going the cops write your ticket up at 5 mph over, giving you a "break" so it doesn't register points with the state and the insurance companies. But that ticket will cost you anywhere from $75 -$200 depending on where you're nabbed. Not Good. (8/31)
Where’s Nurse Ratched when we really need her? Osamu Suzuki, the 81-year-old chairman of Suzuki made a deal with VW in December of 2009 allowing the German firm to acquire 19.9 percent of his company. Then the insular "not invented here" culture that permeates Suzuki reared its ugly head and prevented any progress from being made, as Suzuki's ponderous - some say paralyzed - internal decision-making process left VW executives shaking their heads. Then, bristling at the suggestion that it was only a matter of time before VW swallowed Suzuki whole, the reactionary Japanese automaker decided to go out and sign a purchase agreement with Fiat last June to purchase diesel engines from Fiat, despite the fact that VW is considered to be the most experienced builder of advanced diesel engines in the world. Then the Suzuki chairman posted a blog item in July saying that the company hadn't found anything that they wanted from VW, at least not right away. Needless to say the agreement is stalled, if not blown-up altogether, and VW has been privy to an up close and personal view as to why Suzuki will always be Suzuki. And nothing more. (9/14)
In the immortal words of the Wicked Witch of the West, "Oh, what a world! What a world!" Editor-in-Chief's Note: Chrysler's Chief Marketing officer, Olivier "I'm a genius, just ask me" Francois's latest gift to us lesser citizens is the signing of Jennifer Lopez to hawk the Fiat 500, part of a marketing onslaught that includes: A New Music Video! And New TV campaigns! "Like the Fiat consumer, Jennifer Lopez sees the world as her canvas and is not afraid to express herself; she is continuously drawn to projects that are authentic and real," Francois positively gushed in a statement. "Jennifer fits perfectly with the brand not because of who she is but because of what she is -- authentic, passionate, modern and a fighter determined to stand out from the rest. As you look at her career path, she embodies the Fiat philosophy, 'Life is Best When Driven.' " Really? We're supposed to get all that and put it together with Fiat? Wow, that's some spicy meatballs. Auto companies have been star-fucking for decades with little or nothing to show for it. I could count on one hand the number of times it has worked, but let's just say this latest go-around smacks of the second coming of Celine Dion hawking Chryslers, which was an unmitigated disaster from the get-go. Wait a minute, maybe Francois is channeling the ghost of Peter Arnell with this lame-brained move and if that's the case, I couldn't imagine a bigger steaming pile of Not Good. – PMD (9/14)
Go back to telling us why Porsche is still Porsche, and still special, please. Andre Oosthuizen was named the new head of Porsche marketing here in North America. Formerly the director for Porsche marketing in Africa and the Middle East, Oosthuizen, 39, would definitely have his hands full. First order of business? Dump the "Engineered for magic. Every day." advertising campaign. We get why Porsche is venturing into heretofore unheard of segments for the brand (SUVs, 4-door sedans) in order to generates boatloads of ca$h, but stop going out of your way to demean the "specialness" of the Porsche brand. People will figure out how they can use their Porsche vehicles every day on their own. (9/21)
The minimum necessary was accomplished. Nothing more, and nothing less. Cheers for the UAW-GM agreement? Unlike the local media in this town you won't find that here. They came to an agreement because there was no other alternative. Is this a signal of a "enlightened" new era in labor relations between the UAW and the auto companies? Oh hell no. It's still about the hoary rhetoric, the dimwitted saber-rattling and the same tired old bullshit as before. Progress? No. Just another day in the Motor City. (9/21)
From the "Oh Please Just Shut Up" File, Part II came word that Sergio's marketing "genius" Olivier Francois, when asked about the nonsensical placement of the infamous JLo spot - a spot clearly aimed at women - on Monday Night Football responded to AdAge with the following gem: "America is aware that there is a car. We needed this kind of spark." Huh? (9/28)
Why? Honda, that once cool Japanese car company insisted that its Ridgeline pickup truck would stay despite piss-poor sales. (10/5)
From the “How Green Is Your Valley” File. Pure electric vehicles were falling short of consumer expectations in recent studies. Consumers wanted something that technology can't provide, like charging in two hours, long range, etc., etc. Pure electrics will remain exactly where they were meant to be all along, as limited-use, niche vehicles. (10/5)
This just in: It well and truly sucked. Editor-in-Chief's Note: So now there's a "real" JLO spot for the Fiat 500 as opposed to the rip from the music video. Guess what? It may even be worse than the rip from the music video. Ponderous, overwrought and a not-so-subtle lift in tone and pace with the Eminem Super Bowl spot for the Chrysler 200 - only translated to daylight, in New York - the question becomes, how on earth did anyone arrive at the thought that JLO has any connection to the Fiat 500 whatsoever? Or that her driving around New York saying how she's connected to "my world" somehow makes sense when that couldn't be further from the truth? It's all just flat-out laughable. Watch the huge miss here. Not to beat a dead horse, but if I'm a Fiat dealer, I am not a happy camper today. – PMD (10/12)
We actually have become a Starbucks Nation of Consumer Zombies. There were as many as 600,000 jobs at U.S. manufacturing companies that can't be filled because they can’t find workers with the proper skills, according to a survey by Deloitte and the Manufacturing Institute. The results of the survey found that 5 percent of manufacturing jobs are unfilled due to lack of qualified candidates, and that 67 percent of manufacturers have a moderate to severe shortage of qualified workers. The survey also found that 56 percent of manufacturers expect the shortage to increase during the next three to five years. Ugh (10/19)
It's now official: Elon Musk is The Most Tedious Man on the Planet, hands down. As reported by Mark Rechtin in Automotive News, the CEO of Tesla Motors regaled an adoring audience at Tesla's converted Toyota (NUMMI) plant in Fremont, California by saying that, "The Model S is not the best electric car, it's the best car of any kind. It's about the same external dimensions as a 5-series BMW, yet has twice the cargo capacity. It's got the biggest sunroof of any car. The fit and finish are superior to any premium sedan. We have the most advanced paint shop in the industry." And he added: "If you drive another premium sedan after driving the Model S, it's going to feel like a jalopy." (10/19)
That's one way to make people want to get off the couch and get out of the house and go for a drive. Reuters reported that beginning next year China will limit the number of entertainment programs allowed to air on television, pushing to replace them with morality-building programming. China's State Administration of Radio, Film and Television will restrict shows that "record the dark and gloomy side of society," the Southern Metropolis Daily said. The official Xinhua news agency said the directive aimed to guard against "excessive entertainment" by restricting game shows, talk shows, talent shows, and reality shows, among other types of programming. At least two hours of news would have to be broadcast during the last six hours of the day on 34 stations, Xinhua said. (10/26)
Rising sun? Uh, Not. So. Much. Has the sun set on the once-glittering Japanese auto empire? If they don't figure out what to do about the high level of the yen we may be seeing the beginnings of a downward spiral that will lapse into a permanent decline. (11/2)
This is about mojo and image buzz, two things that Honda has lost and that will be very, very difficult to regain. The once can't miss Japanese automaker scrambled to re-do its lackluster Civic by 2013 instead of sometime in 2014, according to Mark Rechtin in Automotive News. Even the display of tarted-up Civics at the SEMA show fell flat. And a refreshed Civic won't be enough, however. (11/2)
Wait, aren't you a businessman, Dan? And what's wrong with the look of Dunkin' Donuts? It works fine for them. Asked by Automotive News about the NADA getting all agitated about the manufacturers forcing dealers to make big dollar investments to upgrade their facilities, GM's CEO Dan Akerson said: "Would you rather go into a competitor store that looks bright and open and [has] easy access? Or something that looks kind of like a Dunkin' Donuts from the 1980s? I think if I were a businessman, I would be hard-pressed not to accept the assistance we're willing to provide." (11/2)
It’s about time. GM, the automaker whose headquarters are hard by the Detroit River played hardball by pulling the plug on its involvement with Saab over the fact that the new Chinese owners would have been handed instant access to the GM technology that's in the Saab 9-4X. "Although General Motors is open to the continued supply of powertrains and other components to Saab under appropriate terms and conditions, GM will not agree to the continuation of the existing technology licenses or the continued supply of 9-4X vehicles to Saab following the proposed change in ownership as it would not be in the best interests of GM shareholders," GM said in a prepared statement. Good for them and it's about time. Other manufacturers could learn a thing or two by following GM's lead. (11/9)
And oh by the way, with your latest quarterly profits plunging due to severe supply problems, it's hard to think about building "shiny happy" cars, isn't it? According to a Reuters special report, Toyota’s CEO Akio Toyoda wanted to rejuvenate the "culture" at Toyota by going "back to the basics" of building cars that make people happy, like his grandfather once did. Uh, that's noble and all, Akio, but do you really think you can snap your fingers and make people giddy about driving Toyotas again? Really? There are too many excellent choices now from Korea, Germany and the U.S. for that to happen overnight. Now do you understand the real cost of Toyota being asleep at the wheel for 30 months? (11/9)
Delusional thinking is delusional thinking in any language. Editor-in-Chief's Note: Automotive News reported that the Chrysler Group had suspended production of its 1.4-liter FIRE engine that powers the Fiat 500 in North America due to slow U.S. sales of the subcompact, according to "a top UAW local official." Internal Chrysler documents obtained by AN dated Nov. 1 showed that the Italian-owned automaker had a 184-day supply of Fiat 500 coupes and cabrios available to dealers. Uh, hello? Remember all of the glowing pronouncements by Fiat-Chrysler CEO Sergio Marchionne about how the Fiat 500 would "transform the U.S. market" and that the automaker would easily sell 50,000 units in the first year? Even though he downgraded that prediction somewhat when the rollout of the car turned out to be a complete and utter disaster, the bottom line is that just 15,826 Fiat 500s have been sold in this country to date. Let me repeat that, just 15,826. And that number includes fleet sales. The problem wasn't with Marchionne's delusional thinking about Fiat and what it could and would do in this market, because even though he fancies himself a genius and his minions think he is so very, very, special, the bottom line is that delusional thinking is delusional thinking in any language. And Marchionne is no different from any of the other auto industry executives of the last, say 50 years, who were convinced they were special and who were equally convinced that they couldn't possibly be wrong. The problem with all of this, of course, is that Marchionne's vision for the future health and well being of the Fiat-owned Chrysler hinges upon Fiat making it here in the U.S. so that the table can then be set for the launch of Alfa Romeo. (And while we're at it let's not forget that Marchionne has also promised that Alfa will be another "can't miss" success and will propel the new Fiat-owned Chrysler to new heights around the world.) This is a giant pasta bowl of Not Good, any way you look at it. Marchionne has sold everyone a big fat bill of goods with the return of Fiat in this market and the big losers - besides the media mavens who kiss Marchionne's ass on a regular basis, of course - are the dealers who bought Marchionne's Bush League Bullshit from the beginning (see below). Will Fiat ever be more than a small-time niche player in the U.S. market, at best? No. Frickin'. Way. - PMD (11/16)
That dog won't hunt even with a prosciutto-wrapped T-Bone. Editor-in-Chief's Note: Well, that was special, wasn't it? You waited at the base of the mountaintop for Sergio to come down and bestow his wisdom on you because, after all, Sergio is a genius and he said that Fiat and the 500 "can't miss," right? Then you got the T-shirt and even got your souvenir DVDs autographed by The Maestro and now, except for a few of you in the smile states who have managed to push enough Fiat 500s on to the flavor-seekers-of-the-month to be noticeable, you're all left holding the bag and looking at your watches wondering what the hell just happened. I'll tell you what happened. You got screwed. You bought Sergio's Bush League Bullshit about the 500 being the next MINI and let me just reiterate in case you need to be reminded, that was nevergonnahappen, no matter how many Abarths and other special editions they crank out. (That was the AE "Duh of the Year" hands-down, by the way.) Not only that, you then bought the whole idea that you needed to spend $1 - $2 million each to build exclusive Fiat stores so that you'd be ready to make the real dough when the Alfa Romeo product onslaught started. How is that workin' out for ya? Especially when the first Alfa of any note is easily two-and-one-half years away, if not more? Here's the thing, Fiat is a nice little brand and all but it's never going to be more than a curiosity in this market. Sure, there will be a few consumers every year who like the whole "being different" aspect of buying a Fiat but that's never going to be enough to build brand equity in this market, not by a long shot. And just for the record, the idea of Alfa Romeo being one of the two pillars of Marchionne's strategy to gain global legitimacy for the Fiat-Chrysler mashup? Please. – PMD (11/16)
Editor-in-Chief's Note: It is well known that the Fiat launch was botched from the beginning, and nowhere was that more apparent than in the Los Angeles market. Our West Coast correspondent, Tom Pease, weighed-in on the subject with another "Letter from L.A." that week. - PMD
How Fiat got it wrong in L.A.
By Tom Pease
Beverly Hills. The Fiat story in L.A. is a microcosm of the issues the whole company suffers from, which starts with a complete lack of Common Sense. First, the 500 is sold only on the cute factor. Its gas mileage, price and usability aren't as good as at least three of its competitors. It's not even that much fun to drive. Second, Fiat launched the 500 with too many manuals when nobody in Los Angeles wants one. A week of commuting on the 405 in a manual will have drivers learning new and interesting swear words in record time. Third, they launched in a wasteland area south of downtown L.A. If you're going to launch a rolling fashion accessory at least put the store somewhere where people who might buy one live. At least Smart was smart enough to open first in Beverly Hills. I certainly wouldn't feel like trekking all the way to Figueroa & 21st every time my 500 needed an oil change when there's a Yaris, a Fit, or a Focus with dealerships on Santa Monica Blvd. But hey, what do I know? I wouldn't have hired JLo either... (11/16)
A desperate need. Editor-in-Chief's Note: Yes, we've been inundated with emails from readers pointing out that various websites are running with the story that JLo didn't actually drive the Fiat 500 back in her old stomping grounds in the Bronx, but rather filmed her parts of the spot in L.A. If you've been in and around the ad biz you'd know that this development is hardly surprising or that big of a deal. All kinds of logistical allowances are made when working with celebrities. It's just the way it is. But that's not the issue as far as I'm concerned. The issue is that JLo has no connection to the Fiat 500 - forced or otherwise - and it's simply not a good fit. Using celebrities in TV commercials is fraught with peril. When it works, it can be memorable, even sensational at times. But that is very rare. Fiat is in desperate need of new creative thinking. And given the players involved, I seriously doubt that we'll see anything demonstrably better in the coming months. – PMD (11/23)
It's just too bad we have to endure the endless hand-wringing from the massively uninformed in the meantime. Editor-in-Chief's Note: The Chevy Volt was under attack. At this point the battery pack post-crash fires and the lengthy explanation of what has really been going on is getting lost in a media frenzy of Internet headlines and 20-second sound bites that basically go something like this: "Volts Catching Fire." Not "Volt batteries catching fire after crash tests," no, just, "Volts Catching Fire." It doesn't matter that there are well over 250,000 vehicle fires each and every year that cause over 500 deaths here in the United States, according to The Wall Street Journal, all that matters is that the newest and hottest thing in advanced vehicle technology - at least according to the politicians in Washington and Northern California - the much touted "electrification of the automobile" has now hit a roadblock of Bad News: "Volts Catching Fire." This couldn't come at a more inopportune time for General Motors, what with the fact that they've invested hundreds of millions of dollars in developing the advanced - and category leading - Volt extended range electric vehicle technology, and that it's the tip of the company's technological spear. There's more to it than that. The Volt is also the halo for the Chevrolet brand, and they've invested millions upon millions in getting that message across as well. GM's top PR operatives are all over this issue and trying to get out front of it as best they can, and GM's North American chief Mark Reuss is leading the executive charge to defend the Volt's honor as well. But here's the thing. In our world of instant communication gratification, the 24-7 quagmire of punditry, chatrooms and hordes of instant auto "experts" weighing-in on Twitter and Facebook will bury the Volt long before any meaningful evaluations are completed or any real issue is discovered. And that's just flat-out wrong. The Volt will survive this, and GM will survive it too. – PMD (11/30)
GM. Editor-in-Chief's Note: This week Automotive News blared the headline, "This isn't the same GM" on Page 1. In the story attached to it the point was made that because GM idled the Chevrolet Cruze plant to keep inventories down it signaled a seismic shift in GM's thinking. The point being that the "old" GM would have just kept cranking the vehicles out and then dealt with it at the dealer level with cash rebates and incentives. And to a certain degree that isolated incident does demonstrate a significant difference with the new company. Having said that, however, I still see much of the same "three steps forward, five back" GM that I have been railing against since Day One of this publication. Examples? 1. GM might have idled the Cruze plant to keep inventories in check, but they're still piling on huge incentives to move their trucks. (They're not alone. The other manufacturers are doing the same.) So please tell me about the difference again? 2. And the "old" GM that made product pronouncements that they inevitably couldn't back up? It seems to be rearing its ugly head yet again, judging by the early chatter coming from within the "new" GM about the Cadillac ATS. It's fine that GM operatives wanted to put an internal stake in the ground and take aim at the BMW 3 Series, everyone needs a target to shoot for in this business. But it's quite another when they publicly state that's what they're going to do. Wouldn't it have been better to let the media and the public "discover" that the new ATS was quite good on its own, instead of dredging up the Holy Grail of premium performance-luxury sedans? Now, with a brand new 3 Series about to hit the market I can predict what will happen with the ATS, no matter how good it is. The media will get their hands on it and say something like this in summation - "Nice effort, but it's no BMW 3 Series." Just you wait. 3. And GM's consistent tendency to "insert foot in mouth" when it comes to their public pronouncements has not subsided one iota. I thought (in retrospect, naively) that GM CEO Dan Akerson learned his lesson about keeping his mouth shut or at least reining it in when he talked to the media. He embarrassed himself greatly early on in his tenure and I thought cooler heads might have finally gotten to Akerson and convinced him that maybe the first thought balloon hovering over his head wasn't necessarily the best comment to unleash to the media in an interview. Well all of that went right out the window during the crisis with the Chevrolet Volt. Akerson (aka Chief Blunderbuss) was in high dudgeon, spewing his boneheaded pronouncements at will, none of which necessarily jibed with the reality of the situation or with the perspectives of the people actually immersed in getting to the bottom of the fix. Not helpful. 4. Since Akerson has proved to be such a relentless train wreck when it comes to dealing with the media, where is the PR staff in all of this? More specifically, what exactly is GM's PR leader, Selim Bingol, doing to quell Akerson's natural idiotic tendencies? Not much, apparently. Shrugging one's shoulders and saying "that's just Dan" isn't a PR strategy, last time I checked. I will have plenty more to say about Akerson and GM and the entire industry in next week's year-end issue. As for the idea that "This isn't the same GM" - ? Although there are many definitive bright spots - especially when it comes to the True Believers in Design and Product Development - to me this new GM is too much the same as it ever was. Not Good doesn't even begin to cover it. - PMD (12/14)
Smart. The clown car car division of Daimler is unveiling a pickup concept at the Detroit Auto Show. Why? (12/14)
(Smart)
(Ford)
Big news for those interested in restoring or building a '67 Mustang. You can now build a “new” 1967 Mustang convertible with an all-new steel body. The 1967 convertible body shell is the newest officially licensed Ford Restoration part and is now available to order starting at $15,995. It is the fourth reproduction classic Mustang body available to restorers, joining the ’65 convertible, the ’67 fastback and the ’69 fastback. Dynacorn International, manufacturer of the ’67 convertible body, worked to not only replicate the original ’67 convertible, but make it better. The body panels are stamped from modern automotive-grade virgin steel that is slightly thicker than the original. Then, to add strength, the panels are assembled using modern welding techniques. There are also newly engineered reinforcements in known stress areas to add strength and rigidity to the body. The body comes rustproofed and primed and is ready for painting and assembly. More information about the ’67 body shell and all other Ford-licensed restoration parts can be found at www.fordrestorationparts.com.
(Audi)
Audi is releasing a limited production version (only 333 units) of its new A1 model series. Powered by a 2.0 -liter, turbocharged engine producing 188 kW (256 hp) and 350 Nm (258.15 lb-ft) of torque, the A1 quattro sprints from zero to 100 km/h (62.14 mph) in 5.7 seconds and has a top speed of 245 km/h (152.24 mph). The A1 quattro is expected to consume on average less than 8.5 liters of fuel per 100 km (27.67 US mpg).
Editor's Note: After a few days in the 2012 Chevrolet Cruze LTZ, I came away with a new appreciation for the compact segment. I found our Crystal Red Metallic tester to be exceptionally well executed, if a bit ordinary in the styling department. Okay, I'll say it - it just seemed bland to me - would it really be that hard to give it a ounce or two of pizzazz? The Jet Black interior cheered me up, however. It is clean and well thought out. The center console, in particular, was fresh and contemporary. It did have my leather-appointed heated seats, standard, but I'll never understand things like a power driver's seat but manual passenger seat - how much more would that really add to the cost? The Cruze is roomier than it appears - it doesn't feel small or 'compact' at all (which I liked), and it's easy to get stuff in and out. The turbocharged 1.4L Ecotec was surprisingly responsive, and although I wasn't monitoring mileage, the sticker claims a decent 26 City/38 Highway. Overall, the Cruze just screams competent - a safe, if somewhat boring, choice. To be fair, however, it really does have a lot going for it. And it's clear that GM has come a long, long way in the compact segment. -WG
Editor-in-Chief's Note: I found the Cruze LTZ to be a quality piece of work and it signals that GM has a firm grip on what this segment is about and what they need to do to stand out in it. For the Detroit detractors out there clinging to the formula that Detroit = Bad, however, things will never change and they won't give the Cruze even a cursory glance. For the rest out there who want to broaden their horizons, the Cruze is definitely worthy of serious consideration. - PMD
2012 Chevrolte Cruze LTZ $25,625 (Base Price, $23,110; Crystal Red Metallic Tinitcoat, $325; Jet Black Interior; Radio, AM/FM/Stereo w/CD & MP3, $995; Premium Audio System, $445; Destination Charge, $750)
Editor-in-Chief's Note: Our talented friend Casey Shain - aka "artandcolour" - shared his wonderfully provocative digital musings with us throughout the year. Here we reprise just a few of his designs, along with his commentary. -PMD
Buick Invicta — Buick's 4-door coupe entry, based on the LaCrosse platform. Lower and slinkier than the LaCrosse, with more features, including electronic touchpad entry and power open/close doors. 4 bucket seats and a full length console highlight the interior.
(Digital Art Courtesy of Casey Shain, aka "artandcolour")
Chevrolet Volt Coupe - I extended the controversial black beltline trim all the way to the back of the car, separating the painted portion of the C pillar creating a cantilevered look. This is a very subtle homage to GM's "flattop" sedans of 1959-61.
(Digital Art Courtesy of Casey Shain, aka "artandcolour")
Ford Mustang GT Sedan - Based on the Saleen coupe, this is a modern muscle sedan with a tight 4-place interior.
(Digital Art Courtesy of Casey Shain, aka "artandcolour")
VW Beetle Woody - First I modified the new Beetle coupe into a 4-door car. Then I gave it a classic Woody look. Why not, lol?
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"Interesting to read the J Mays is going future-forward with the new Mustang for the next generation. That's exactly what will be needed and I can hear the cries of 'that's no Mustang' already. I bet it has some über EcoBoost V6s and a really powerful high-tech 4-cylinder standard. Which I would totally agree with but will freak out the 'Stang Neanderthals' out there. My new Mustang is from the Evos, but it's probably not futuristic enough now!"
"The Cadillac is from the XTS Platinum concept but I call it the XTC and it would have a V12 for a true flagship, 450hp for the luxury version, 600hp from twin superchargers for the V-series. The V is probably a bit too boy racer, but I was feeling randy when I chopped it, lol. Imagine a NASCAR worthy sound from that V12, rather than a Ferrari whine. : )"
"The VW Up! Churada is my fanciful attempt to "sportify" the new Up! city car. It would be a 2 seater with lots of room for luggage or the battery pack for the e/hybrid version. "Churada" is a wind/rain event in the Marianas Islands, going back to VW's use of 'wind' names."
"I know you don't run older cars, but I thought you'd like to see some of my 60s Cadillacs, so I'm including a couple. One is a 2 door pillarless wagon for the Rat Pack, the Esprit de Ville, and the other is what a 'B-body' Cadillac would have looked like had they been produced in '68, sort of a modern-day Series 61 or LaSalle. I think the '68 GM B-coupe roofline really works with the Caddy!"
2013 Audi A4 Allroad: Black Forest Edition with body side Black Walnut micro-veneers. Body has been re-proportioned and lowered.
2013 Audi TT eTron: Bold new concept for the next generation TT coupe. The cautious facelift of the second generation is tossed aside for this 21st century Plug-in hybrid, all-wheel drive, sports coupe. Based on the Audi eTron speedster concept.
2013 Buick LaCrosse Centurion coupe: A re-proportioned large Buick coupe. Based on the just-seen GL concept car, this top-of-the-line coupe would set the stage for a later, reborn RWD Riviera, and full-sized Plug-in hybrid sedan, the Electra.
2013 Cadillac 60-Special: Plug-in hybrid, long wheelbase XTS will bring back the classic 60-Special nameplate, but today "60" refers to the number of miles of pure electric (no gas) driving achievable, 60, almost doubling the Volt's advertised 35 miles. Fender skirts make a comeback as Aerospats, and help lower the drag to .21.