ON THE TABLE

September 15, 2010

Sergio Marchionne. Editor-in-Chief's Note: The industry's Chief Spin Meister tells Chrysler dealers in Orlando today (Tuesday) that, “Our management team is committed to restoring Chrysler's greatness by delivering a product line makeover that is second to none in the industry.” Oh no, really Sergio? You did not just say that, did you? In the midst of the most dramatic transformation in industry history, one that has Ford totally revamping its lineup with one class-leading car after another and with GM even getting off the mat with a brace of outstanding new entries - not to mention the burgeoning product momentum displayed by the Hyundai-KIA juggernaut - you actually had the temerity to spout that bullshit about a third-rate product offensive that's three parts wishing and seven parts hoping?? We get the fact that a dealer meeting is supposed to be filled with hyperbole and wild-ass pronouncements, but you have crossed the line repeatedly into the unmitigated bullshit realm so often and with such smug certainty that it has ceased being even remotely funny. What next, Sergio? You gonna promise that the Chrysler Group is going to take over the market share lead in the U.S. by 2016? How about giving the people out in Auburn Hills who are working their asses off to fix things at Chrysler at least a shred of dignity by sitting down and shutting the fuck up? At this point dead solid silence would improve Chrysler's credibility dramatically. You just can't make this shit up, folks. - PMD

  Japan, Inc. From the "Here We Go Again" File comes word that Japanese authorities intervened in the foreign-exchange market today, launching the dollar up sharply against the yen.  They say the move is Japan's first foreign-exchange market intervention in more than six years. Really? We find that hard to believe. It may have been the first official move in six years, but when foreign currency manipulation is part of the standard operating procedure of the government there, we're not buying that explanation. At any rate, this will be a giant rice bowl of Not Good for the U.S.-based auto manufacturers in no time. Count on it.

 Jonathan Browning. The new head of VW's American operations told a news conference in Washington, D.C., on Monday that "We want VW to become an essential part of the U.S. automotive landscape. Our task is to create an emotional connection with the U.S. consumer." Memo to Mr. Browning and the know-it-all VW executives in Germany behind him (the ones pushing the ridiculous sales goal of 800,000 units in the U.S. for VW by 2018): You can't get there from here by building crap-tastic, cheap-assed Jettas and trying to pawn them off as Real Deal VWs. As jaded as American auto consumers are, you don't have a snowball's chance in Hell of making that happen. We would much rather VW started with the GTI and made all of their vehicles as great as that car, that's how you're going create an emotional connection with the U.S. enthusiast consumer. You do get our AE Quote of the Week, however.

Nissan. Love it or hate it, the little tidbit you didn't know about the Nissan "Polar Bear" commercial for the all-new, all-electric Leaf is that Joel Ewanick was the guy who green-lighted the spot while he was having the proverbial "cup of coffee" - a five-week stint as CMO - at Nissan down in Nashville before he became the Chief Marketing Guru for GM.

Mark Hogan. The longtime industry veteran (including 30 years at GM) has been hired to be an adviser to Toyota's North American operations. Good luck with that, Mark. But if they asked us, these would be the words of wisdom flying across the conference room table at the very first meeting. "Well, first-off, you can start by stop screwing things up. And secondly, you're in the car business (last time we checked) and you better get back in it. And finally, what's with those touchy-feely, huggable ads you're running? Who's your target market with that crap? Zombies?"

Li Shufu. The chairman of Zhejiang Geely Holding Group says that he plans to build as many as three new plants in China and eventually make - and sell - 300,000 Volvo vehicles a year there, according to the Wall Street Journal. Volvo sold 335,000 cars total around the world including just over 24,000 vehicles in China in 2009. Uh, let's review, shall we? Volvo has no brand image in China, like zero. Not only that, but Volvo as a company is in deep trouble. Now all of this is supposed to come good by 2015 or so just because they're going to throw money at it?. How about oh hell no?

Chrysler. The teetering Sergio Marchionne-led Chrysler announced Tuesday to its dealers in Orlando, Florida, that the replacement for its mid-size Sebring sedan will be called the Chrysler 200, and then promptly released tease photos to the media that - despite touting the "all-new" aspect of the car - looked suspiciously like the old one. Uh-oh, Kemo Sabe, smells suspiciously like a heaping, steaming bowl of Not Good to us.

(Ford)
The next-generation Ford Focus range will be the star attraction in Ford Motor Company's display at the 2010 Paris Motor Show on September 30. But the most exciting Focus on display will be the range-topping 2112 Focus ST – which features a unique 250 PS version of the new 2.0-litre, four-cylinder Ford EcoBoost engine – and it "will be completely true to Ford's ST heritage, offering driving enthusiasts an intoxicating cocktail of exhilarating performance and handling accompanied by an addictive sound," according to Ford. Is it coming here? Yes, figure late, late fall of 2011, or early 2012.

(Images Courtesy of Audi of America)
Audi has announced that it is bringing the 360-horsepower Audi TT RS coupe to the U.S. market by the third quarter of 2011. The introduction of the Audi TT RS to the U.S. market has been under serious consideration for several months. To gauge consumer interest for the high-performance car, Audi launched a survey on its Facebook tab. After more than 11,500 fans expressed their enthusiasm for the Audi TT RS in just one month, Audi executives concluded the car’s time had come. “With performance and agility rooted in Audi motorsports success, the TT RS is truly an emotional sports car,” explained Johan de Nysschen, President, Audi of America. “That emotion became abundantly clear as we explored interest across the country.” Only the coupe version of the TT RS will be available in the U.S., but it's a sensational package. Powered by a 2.5-liter TFSI, five-cylinder turbocharged engine developed exclusively for the Audi TT RS that delivers 360 horsepower and 332 lb-ft of torque, the power package won International Engine of the Year honors this summer in judging for its category by 71 automotive journalists. The 2.5T engine will be paired with a six-speed manual transmission and quattro® all-wheel drive and is expected to achieve a 0-60 mph time of 4.6 seconds, according to Audi. The lightweight body featuring Audi Space Frame ASF® aluminum construction produces a low drag coefficient of 0.32. Audi has not yet determined pricing for the Audi TT RS and says that it will continue to define features and options available to U.S. consumers before its debut here.

 

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Publisher's Note: Check-out John McElroy's daily news show covering everything about the auto biz by clicking on the graphic below. Good stuff guaranteed. - PMD

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