ON THE TABLE
Wednesday, March 24, 2010 at 08:26AM March 24, 2010
David Bazzetta. He began blowing the whistle nine years ago that Daimler Chrysler execs in Germany were paying bribes for all kinds of reasons to do business with foreign governments and others between 1998 and 2008, a clear violation of U.S. law. For his trouble he got fired, but next week Daimler will appear in a U.S. Federal court in Washington, D.C., to face the charges, with reports that the company will have to fork over $185 million to settle the charges. It's a Big Fucking Deal, Part I.
Daimler. The company paid off officials in 22 governments - including Saddam Hussein's Iraq and North Korea - with cars, cash and other assorted prizes and favors. Nicely done.
Toyota. The company's "scorched earth" rebate offensive threatens the stability of the auto business in the U.S. With the deepest pockets in the industry Toyota is hell bent on destroying its competition's balance sheets before they can even get close to a full recovery. And it's going to get even uglier too. Make no mistake, it's a Big Fucking Deal, Part II.
Toyota. From "The Be Careful What You Wish For" File, the downside for Toyota is that their "scorched earth" rebate policy will also help destroy the company's traditionally excellent resale values. Awww.
Cosmic Rays. Electronic interference from cosmic rays? It's the new buzz theory explaining all of the unintended acceleration cases cropping up all of a sudden. We've joked about sun spots affecting car sales over the years here at AE, but cosmic rays? Really? Riddle us this, Batman: How come there have been zero reports of unintended acceleration in manual shift cars? Uh-huh, that's what we thought too. Repeat after us, it's driver error, first and foremost. Cosmic ray conspiracy theories makes great copy though, we'll grant you that.
Japanese car buyers. The Wall Street Journal is reporting that car buyers in Japan are going crazy for the Honda CR-Z, with orders exceeding 10,000 vehicles in the first month. Huh? The car is butt ugly and underpowered, other than that it is sweet. No one will go broke overestimating the taste of the Japanese car-buying consumer, apparently.
Carbon Motors. The private company in Connersville, Indiana - which is planning to begin building and selling a custom designed police vehicle called the Carbon E7 in 2013 - made a deal with BMW to buy more than 240,000 6-cylinder diesel engines. But even though the company claims it has 350 advance orders, it needs $310 million from the Energy Department's $25 billion advanced technology vehicle fund to get the whole thing off the ground. Oh. But it's still a Big Fucking Deal, Part III.
Alan Mulally. The guy does the work as advertised and gets paid well for it. That's the way it's supposed to work, kids, in case you forgot.
Delta Airlines. This is an inside-baseball-type item, only appropriate for people who live around here and have to fly in and out of Detroit's Metro airport. We have suffered through myriad changes at our airport - which was finally fixed and now is one of the best - and then we had to endure the excruciating growing pains of Northwest airlines as they slowly but surely became a real airline. And damn, just when Northwest was finally getting their proverbial shit together, Delta comes along and buys Northwest and wrecks everything positive that NWA had become, setting back airline quality around here by at least a decade. Horrendous airfares, a reduced number of flights (wait a minute, aren't "hubs" supposed to provide more flight options?), and by far the worst airline website on the face of the earth, bar none. These guys have managed to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory and blowed it up real good. Thanks Delta, you well and truly suck. And yes, it's a Big Fucking Deal, Part IV.
Chrysler, Fiat. Publisher's Note: I've repeatedly said that Sergio Marchionne's plan for running Chrysler may not work out and if so, it would be the quickest way to create Fiat North America overnight. Now, word comes from Italian newspaper La Reppublica that plans are afoot to build as many as 350,000 Fiat, Lancia and Alfa Romeo vehicles here in the U.S. The newspaper also said that Fiat plans to cut 5,000 jobs in Italy as part of the company's 2010-2014 strategic plan - which will be unveiled on April 21 - affecting three plants and representing 15 percent of its 30,000 workers employed on assembly lines. - PMD
(GM)
This is what GM says: "The EN-V, which is short for Electric Networked-Vehicle, maintains the core principle of personal mobility - freedom - while helping remove the motor vehicle from the environmental debate and redefining design leadership. EN-V is a two-seat electric vehicle that was designed to alleviate concerns surrounding traffic congestion, parking availability, air quality and affordability for tomorrow's cities. The Jiao (Pride) model (above) was unveiled today in Shanghai alongside Xiao (Laugh) and Maio (Magic). They represent three different characteristics which emphasize that future transportation can be fun." This is what we say: You have to be fucking kidding.
(Digital Image by Casey Shain)
Given Peter's column this week our friend Casey Shain ("artandcolour") sent along this concept for a "smaller/softer looking Art & Science themed SLK/Z4 competitor" based on the original Evoq, dubbed the "Eldorodster." You can check out Casey's work at http://artandcolour.blogspot.com/.
WE'RE OPENING THE VAULT!
The AE wearables are back - and only in extremely limited quantities and sizes, we might add - and once they're gone, they're gone! We're starting with our most popular items, the classic AE Sweatshirt and AE Hat. Click on a PayPal button below to order yours now! (If you prefer to pay by check, please send us an email with AE STORE in the subject line, and we'll reserve your item.)
AE Sweatshirt - Crewneck, sturdy 80/20 cotton/poly, in black with throwback lettering - the original AE logo in our Chiller typeface shown above. Size XL only. 40 bucks, including shipping. US orders only.
AE Hat - Black with throwback lettering - the original AE logo in our Chiller typeface shown above. 25 bucks, including shipping. US orders only.
Publisher's Note: Check-out John McElroy's daily news show covering everything about the auto biz by clicking on the graphic below. Good stuff guaranteed. - PMD
See another live episode of "Autoline After Hours" hosted by Autoline Detroit's John McElroy, with Peter De Lorenzo and friends this Thursday evening, at 7:00PM EDT at www.autolinedetroit.tv. By the way, if you'd like to subscribe to the Autoline After Hours podcasts, click on the following links: Subscribe via iTunes: http://itunes.apple.com/WebObjects/MZStore.woa/wa/viewPodcast?id=311421319 http://www.autolinedetroit.tv/podcasts/feeds/afterhours-audio.xml
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