ON THE TABLE

December 10, 2008

The Double-Secret Auto Buying Stimulus Program. Rumors of a high-flying, high-visibility, big-buck auto buying stimulus program that will be endorsed by some of the heaviest hitting business leaders in the country is being finalized as you read this. "Buy a car and get the whole damn country moving again" - or something along those lines. Stay tuned.

Bob Lutz. The one person glaringly missing from the Detroit flogging in Washington? Bob Lutz. It was a calculated move on GM PR's part to keep Detroit's resident lightning rod from being pilloried by the Senators and Representatives for his past anti-green statements. In hindsight, it was a bad move. A double-shot of Lutzian wisdom and and acerbic rejoinders is exactly what the boneheads in Washington deserved. A. The sound bites would have been immeasurably better, and B. The American people would have at least seen that Detroit has a pulse. No Gutz. No Glory.

Cerberus. Unless an unexpected miracle occurs, it's all over but the hand-wringing for Cerberus and Chrysler. Judging by the Winds of Doom blowing across the Potomac, GM will be forced to absorb Chrysler at some point in the not-too-distant future to whittle the U.S. auto industry down to the Detroit Two.

Jerry York. Leave it to Uncle Jerry to emerge from the shadows to heap more derision on GM's management in recent days. The guy just can't help himself. He never, ever got over the fact that he wasn't anointed to run General Motors.

Tesla. The green car company with its feet planted firmly in the blue sky is asking the U.S. government for a $350 million loan to help it develop a four-door sedan or else its introduction will be delayed, this according to its CEO Elon Musk. Don't hold your breath, E.

Mitch McConnell. The Senate Minority Leader (R-KY) captures AE's Mr. Transparency Award this week (No, Senator "Dick" Shelby, R-AL didn't retire the award as was originally rumored), with his blatant anti-Detroit tirade against the loan package on the table in Washington, saying the industry deserved its fate because of "decades of complicity between management and labor." Hey, Mitch, was this before or after you received your latest "thank you" from Toyota? Nicely done.

Bob Lutz. Telling Tom Walsh of the Detroit Free Press exactly what he thought about Washington politicos and media talking heads yesterday: "It just infuriates to hear supposedly intelligent people describe the GM of the 1980s as if it was today," Lutz said. And that's our AE Quote of the Week, Part I.

Lee Iacocca. Our AE Quote of the Week, Part II, goes to one Lido Iacocca: "Having been there, I do not agree with the sentiment now coming out of Congress that the management should be changed as a condition of granting loans to the Detroit automakers. You don't change coaches in the middle of a game, especially when things are so volatile," Iacocca said in a statement released yesterday. "The industry has been brutalized by a totally unpredictable series of events over which it had little control and that is beating it unmercifully into the ground." Iacocca went on to say, "The companies may not be perfect but the guys who are running them now are the only ones with the experience and the in-depth knowledge and understanding of how the car business really works. They're by far the best shot we have for success. I say give them their marching orders and then let them march. They're the right people to get the job done." Amen, Lido.

Rep. Thaddeus McCotter. The Republican Representative from Michigan had this to say at the Financial Services Committee hearing today:“We rightly saw recently the auto companies appear right at that table, because they requested tens of billions of dollars of taxpayer money. And yet, as we continue to go through this process, we see no one, a CEO, or anyone from the financial institutions that have to date received hundreds of billions of dollars of taxpayer money. And I hope that in the future we can correct that. I don’t care if they take a yacht, I don’t care if they hitchhike, I think they should be here to account for what they did to put us where we are, how they will get us out of this, what they will do with the money they have received, and how it will help working Americans." And that's our AE Quote of the Week, Part III.

Alan Mulally. The only CEO to emerge from the carnage in Washington with his reputation intact - and ascending - is Alan Mulally. Read Sharon Silke Carty's excellent piece on the guy who has his foot placed firmly on the gas pedal at Ford, here.

Diane Tucker. Props to The Huffington Post columnist who asks the fundamental question: "Ha! Would You Buy A Car Designed By OUR Government?" Catch this fine read here.

Michigan Credit Union League. As first reported by Automotive News, group of credit unions from Michigan, Ohio, Indiana and Illinois is pledging $10 billion in low-cost auto financing to its more than 12 million members for the purchase of General Motors vehicles. The plan is called Invest in America, and the credit union league is now talking to Ford Motor Co. and Chrysler LLC about similar programs. It offers eligible vehicles at a price discount to credit union members and their households. Members who buy cars under the program also are eligible to get an additional $250 bonus cash between now and Jan. 5. Credit union members can find details on the discounts at www.lovemycreditunion.org and obtain an authorization number to take to any GM dealership. The price discount is on purchases of eligible new Buick, Cadillac, Hummer, Saab, Chevrolet, GMC, Saturn and Pontiac vehicles. The program will run through June 30.

Dominic Raiola. The Detroit Lions center was fined $7500 by the team for giving some so-called "fans" who have been taunting him all season the finger. Given the deplorable behavior of certain Lions "fans" of late, we would have rather seen Raiola given $7500 to go up into the stands and kick some ass.