TARIFFS, CUTBACKS AND LAYOFFS. PANIC IN DETROIT? NO, JUST ANOTHER DAY AT FU-KING MOTORS!

By Peter M. DeLorenzo
We quickly switched to a Zoom call where I could see an array of dancing models awash in LED lights throbbing in the background, which admittedly was oddly comforting at this point, because if they ever felt the need to tone it down the world would become an even darker place. More on this later.
I updated AE readers about Fu-King Motors a while ago, and before that in the memorable AE interview with “Al Cantara.” And though our longtime AE readers are probably very familiar with Jimmy and Sonny by now, we have a lot of new readers each and every week, so this is as good as time as any to provide a little background about the infamous dynamic duo.
Mr. James “Jimmy” Fu and Mr. S. L. “Sonny” King have operated in the shadows of the gigantic Chinese industrial machine for years. But that hasn’t stopped these two flamboyant and remarkable characters from becoming legends in and out of China. Mr. Fu started manufacturing model cars and trucks in the late 70s. In fact, many of the model cars our readers played with in their youth probably came from Mr. Fu. And 50 years later, I have pieced together and confirmed that he controls every toymaking concern in China through a labyrinthian network of mom-and-pop factories and several other large conglomerates that he lords over. Mr. King became partners with Mr. Fu after initially supplying the elaborately detailed wheels and uncannily accurate tires on Mr. Fu's model cars. Though the two have had knock-down, drag-out disagreements almost from the very beginning – always with the yelling – the two have been partners in Fu-King Motors – and best friends – for going on more than five decades now.
I first got to know Mr. Fu and Mr. King after they approached me at the Los Angeles Auto Show years ago. Apparently, they had stumbled upon Autoextremist.com after they first became familiar with the Internet, and they regaled me with the fact that they both learned English by having my “Rants” columns translated for them. When I first met these two characters, it turned into an uproarious encounter as they blurted out some of my patented phrases that they had learned phonetically, like “notgonnahappen.com,” “halle-frickin'-luja,” and “the Answer to the Question that Absolutely No One is Asking.” (How they learned that last one remains a mystery to me.)
Mr. Fu and Mr. King have remained in close contact with me ever since. As I’ve gotten to know Jimmy and Sonny, their frenetic pace and boundless energy never cease to amaze me. The Zoom calls I receive at 3:00 a.m. my time are usually booze-filled stream-of-consciousness rants by Jimmy with Sonny yelling things over his shoulder, accompanied by stylish model types dancing to disco music in the background at their secretive Shanghai lair. And their appetites appear to be even more boundless. In fact, Jimmy is still fond of aspiring female pop stars, while Sonny is a very generous sponsor of a female gymnastic academy.
Fast American muscle cars are still prominent in their underground garage, which is an enthusiast's cornucopia of greatest hits. Jimmy was happy to provide me with an update of their Fu-King Motors fleet. They sold off all three of their Purple Dodge Demons years ago (each modified to deliver 1000HP) to one of their best, long-term suppliers (whose No. 1 son promptly wrapped one of them around a light pole).
The two original “narrow-hipped” 427 street Cobras have been reduced to one, and the matching numbers ‘68 L88 Corvettes have both been sold. The two Corvette C8s (one black, one white) are long gone. Jimmy gave his black one to his administrative assistant, and Sonny gave his white one to his latest girlfriend. No worries, Jimmy pointed out, because they each have a Z06 now, one white and one black.
Their favorite hot rods (and our readers’ favorites, judging by the mail we’ve received) remain a couple of custom-built Willys Gasser replicas from the ‘60s powered by race-prepared Chevy 502 big-blocks. Jimmy’s is Candy Apple Red (with “big metal flakes” as Jimmy emphasized) and Sonny’s is Electric Orange. They still relish terrorizing the neighbors in the middle of the night with these ultimate bad-ass machines – with open headers – and they’ve even started a localized cottage industry by having more of them built for their exclusive circle of gearhead friends. The Fu-King Gasser Club (wearables are being worked on) now consists of six Willys Gasser replicas, and they reserve Thursday for their “night of mayhem.” The neighbors complain, but as Jimmy told me, “the local police chief is one of our ‘dear’ friends, so, no problem!”
They’ve moved on from their fondness of Basil Hayden’s Kentucky Straight Bourbon and now, the only Bourbon they consume is “Angel’s Envy.” But they emphasized that they are still going through cases of champagne weekly because, as Sonny said, “the girls like it.” And, of course, they absolutely loved their twin Gulfstream G650ERs (Jimmy’s was Jet Black with dayglo orange stripes, while Sonny’s was Chaparral White with Midnight Blue stripes). The operative words being “loved” and “was” as much to my surprise, they sold off Jimmy’s in January.
Did I detect a theme here? Yes, indeed, the words “cutbacks” and “selling-off” were prominent in our conversation, which I found to be distressing. I asked them about this and Jimmy said, “It was time to eliminate some stuff.” And Sonny added, “We decided to just cutback, but we don’t miss it. Well, we miss the other jet a lot, but…”
But the main reason for the call, which they got to about 20 minutes in, was that Jimmy and Sonny wanted to give me an update on the Fu-King Motors future product cadence. The fact that they used the word "cadence" was a bit shocking, but Sonny said that was because they liked the way I use the word in my columns, so they use it all the time. “It’s all about Cadence! Cadence! Cadence!” Jimmy shouted, while they each banged the table in unison. So, after sorting through the yelling and trying to piece together the details in between the disco-pop blaring in the background, we finally wrapped up the call at 4:30 a.m. I was exhausted, but I never get tired of hearing from Jimmy and Sonny. In fact, they want me to come for an extended visit, but I told them I would have to have my affairs in order before I would even consider it. I mean, really.
So, as best as I could tell, the timeline for what Fu-King Motors has coming is being pushed back considerably, or deleted altogether, which seemed depressing to contemplate. “Was it the tariffs?” I asked, because the conversation seemed sobering. And they both chimed in, “No, it was the champagne… and the girls! No time!”
2027: To quote Sonny: “Forget 2025, it is already over.” “What is coming in 2027?” I asked. “Press conferences!” they said in unison. “Dog and Monkey shows!” Seems logical, at this juncture. “We dangle the bait and flip the switch!” I could have pointed out a few linguistic disconnects at this point, but I didn’t bother.
2027 (2nd Quarter): Nothing. The long-awaited debut of the six-wheeled, all-electric Fu-King Gargantuan SUV has been, unfortunately, relegated to the trash heap. The Gargantuan was designed to humiliate the all-electric GMC Hummer EV and “anything Ford or Dodge has up its sleeve,” according to Jimmy back then. The Gargantuan flaunted some incredible numbers: 2000HP; 12,000 lbs. and with retractable electric step ladders (“not steps, ladders,” Jimmy insisted) and “a look that will humiliate all that other crap out there,” added Sonny. When I asked about the price at the time, Jimmy and Sonny answered in unison what they had told me before: “Enough to make grown men cry!” Now? “It’s over,” Sonny commented. “Our research told us (meaning they polled their gearhead buddies) that nobody would ever buy one,” Jimmy said. “So, notgonnahappen!” they added in unison.
2028 (1st Quarter): This was another unexpected debut that I really thought would be a winner: The Fu-King Motors KickBoxer. This was the boys’ answer to the Jeep Wrangler 392 and Ford Bronco Raptor with “unequaled” off-road performance. Boasting a carbon-fiber unibody and a kaleidoscope of different versions, including a pickup and one cryptically referred to as the “RumRunner Edition” (“It can conceal forty gallons of Bourbon!” Sonny chimed in), the KickBoxer was to be powered by an all-aluminum, 3.0-liter, fuel-injected, Twin-Turbo, flat eight-cylinder motor that delivered 800HP. When asked if this could possibly be construed as overkill, Sonny quickly replied at the time: “We would like to introduce our competitors to custom cans of Whup-Ass!” Alas, the Kickboxer is a nonstarter as well. I had to admit, things were sounding more than a bit grim at Fu-King Motors.
2028 (3rd Quarter): The all-electric semi-truck that looked eerily like the Bison advanced long-haul trucking concept that GM Styling created for the 1964 World’s Fair is still a definite “go” for late in the 3rd Quarter of ‘28. Back when I was shown photos of the concept, I thought they had resurrected the designers who did the original Bison – it looked so close to the original (see below). But this truck will be a hydrogen fuel cell-powered electric heavy truck with a range of “700+ miles,” according to Sonny. The name? “Convoy.” (Jimmy and Sonny are huge fans of the original “Smokey and The Bandit” movie and the whole C.B. radio era in the U.S. (“We just watched it again Saturday night,” Sonny added.) Apparently, the Convoy is still a go, but I will have to believe that when I see it.

2029 (1st Quarter): The development of the Fu-King Motors supercar has been fraught with problems from the beginning. With Jimmy and Sonny constantly at each other’s throats over the direction of the concept, it’s no surprise that it exists only in their minds at this point. Oh hell, let’s just call it for what it is: a giant Black Hole of Vaporware. The toll it has taken on Jimmy and Sonny is obvious, as whenever I mention it their usual exuberant dispositions turn decidedly dark.
First envisioned as a high-performance, hydrogen fuel cell-powered electric hypercar, the machine – code named “Bandini” (which I came up with) – had been reimagined as a BEV aimed squarely at Gordon Murray’s T.50 with 1+1 seating and a curb weight of 1900 lbs. But since then Porsche and Rimac Automobili formed a joint venture called Bugatti Rimac to build a future hypercar, and Jimmy and Sonny were apoplectic. “Porsche and Remulac!” Jimmy pounded on the table. (I pointed out that it was Rimac, not Remulac, to no avail.) “This is nothing but a German-Croatian nightmare! As you like to say, it’s notgonnahappen dot fricking com!” The subject brought Jimmy and Sunny to a rare moment of silence, although the stereo was still cranking LOUD (this time with “Jump Around” by House of Pain). (Just this week, reports are circulating that Rimac is interested in buying out Porsche's stake in the joint venture, which would give Rimac total control over Bugatti. -WG)
Then Sonny pitched in: “We need you to give us direction! No Zoom either! We need you here! We’ll have a third Willys built just for you! Any color you want!” Now, that was indeed very tempting.
When I asked about products beyond 2029, the boys just shrugged and glumly chimed in again in unison, “It’s a giant we’ll see as you like to say!” I detected that the boys were winding Fu-King Motors down and I suggested as much.
“You’re down to the Convoy and everything else is either cancelled or put on hold. Is this the end for Fu-King Motors?” I asked.
“No, no, no!” Sonny answered. "Never lift, never surrender!" Jimmy added.
I was happy that the rare moment of introspection I sensed from the boys was only fleeting.
“It’s not looking good, but 'Hammer down!'" Sonny yelled.
“Yes!” I yelled.
When asked if they had any plans to import the Convoy to the U.S., the answer was once again a resounding, “Never!” Asked why, they answered again in unison, “Too much bullshit, too much aggravation, too many idiots.”
"What about the tariffs?" I asked.
“Trump’s Folly! It will cost everybody pain and bad feelings. Stupid! Stupid! Stupid!”
At that point all I could say was, “I concur.”
And I hope they never change.
(Oh, and by the way, I told them I wanted my Willys painted non-metallic Midnight Blue.)
And that’s the High-Octane Truth for this week.
Editor-In-Chief's Note: In case you're wondering, this is what a Willys Gasser looks like. -PMD
Editor's Note: You can access previous issues of AE by clicking on "Next 1 Entries" below. - WG