SUBTERRANEAN MOTOR CITY BLUES, PART II.

Editor's Note: This week, Peter offers an inspired take on the orchestrated cacophony and general all-around chaos of the business with his High-Octane reimagining of the Bob Dylan classic, “Subterranean Homesick Blues.” In "On The Table," we preview the return of one of Aston Martin's most legendary names, Vanquish. And our AE Song of the Week is "Shattered (Turn The Car Around)" by O.A.R. In "Fumes," we have the second installment of Peter's new series, "The Racing Machines." And in "The Line,"we have results for the two INDYCAR races in Milwaukee, F1 from Monza, MotoGP from Aragon (Spain) and whatever else interests us. Onward. -WG



By Peter M. DeLorenzo

Detroit. It’s the beginning of September, and the lingering doldrums of the summer in the automobile business are fading from view. As you read this, hordes of people representing Design, Engineering, Product Development and Marketing are feverishly working away on what’s next. Finessing final design concepts, while envisioning what the compelling looks will be for 2030 and while wrestling with the engineering constraints brought on by an ever-shifting kaleidoscope of regulations and emissions requirements. Finessing the final days of new product programs, while jump-starting future products to life. Meanwhile, ad agencies – reconfigured and locally diminished – have finished fall advertising work and are working on the obligatory year-end holiday ad campaigns, while starting creative concepts for upcoming launches. And of course, the never-ending churn of the monthly sales figures continues.

And this orchestrated cacophony never ends. It’s why I define it as a constant swirling maelstrom of highs and lows, punctuated by triumphs, forgettable missteps and at times unmitigated bullshit. It’s the Autoverse as defined by today’s chaotic global environment.

The High-Octane Truth of the matter is that all of the major players at the car companies want every bit of it, all the time. And surprisingly enough, too many of these executives who should know better actually believe they can have it all. But it never works out that way. In fact, it doesn’t even come close to working that way.

Instead, it’s a two-steps-forward, three-steps-back dance for even the best of the car companies. For every out-and-out product hit, there’s always some corner of the enterprise that is woefully underperforming. And remarkably enough, there are always new executives who seem to have to find this out the hard way.

I was thinking about all of this over this past weekend, as one of Bob Dylan’s classic songs kept popping into my head. Part defiant and poetic social shit disturbing and part Dylan-esque gibberish, “Subterranean Homesick Blues” has a chaotic urgency about it that is hard to turn away from once you let it wash over you.

So, without further ado – and with full props to Mr. Dylan’s original – here’s the “Subterranean Motor City Blues” for your edification (special tip from WordGirl - play Dylan's song in another browser while you read along!).

Carlos busy fact-findin’
Talkin’ rehabilitation
I'm at the keyboard
Thinking about the motives
Parachutin’ in
Realizin’ it’s Not Good
Says he's got a bad feelin’
All this stumblin’
Look out kid
It's somethin' you said
God knows why
But FCA is in the shit again
You better duck down the alley way
Lookin' for a new friend
But there’s no white knight
Holdin’ a big pen
The billions aren’t there
Besides, it is all your fault

Mary talks a good game
Face doesn’t show it
Over EV promisin’
While under deliverin’
What’s the point anyway
ICE will save the day
This EV “thing” will happen
Eventually
Look out kid
Don't matter what you did
Walk on those sensible heels
Don’t matter how it feels
Better stay away from those
Carryin’ around a doomsday hose
Keep a clean nose
Jettison those plain clothes
You don't need a weather man
To know which way the wind blows.

Ah get sick, get well
Hang around that Ford well
Ring bell, sure as hell
F-150’s gonna sell
Try hard, get tarred
Kick ass, do tell
Jump on the “it won’t be long” bandwagon if all else fails
Look out Jimmy
You're gonna get hit
By users, poseurs
Six-time losers
Hangin’ around the cheap seats
Holdin’ you accountable
Lookin' for a new fool
Stop followin’ e-leaders
Watch those chargin’ meters.

Ah get born, stay warned
Read rants, no chance, it’s a dance
Get dressed, get stressed
Try to be a success
Please her, please him, buy gifts
Don't whine, don't groan
Twenty years of schoolin'
And they send you to the Dead Zone
Look out kid
They keep it all hid
Better avoid the assholes
Light yourself a candle
Don't wear sandals
Try to avoid the scandals
Don't wanna be a bum
You better chew gum
The pump don't work
'Cause Elon stole the handles.

And remember one more thing: Every time it seems like it won’t be long now for the good times to take hold, there’s always something lurking just around the corner to mess it all up. That has been the historical cadence for the Motor City and the auto biz as we know it ever since this whole thing got started.

When it’s good, this business here in the U.S. is an awesome, 17-million+ Rocket Ride. But when it’s bad, the juice - in this case, the EV juice - runs out eventually, and at that point it won’t take a weather man to know which way the wind blows.

And that’s the High-Octane Truth for this week.

Editor's Note: You can access previous issues of AE by clicking on "Next 1 Entries" below. - WG