MO EVS, MO PROBLEMS. UNCTUOUS PRICKS AND SWINGING DICKS. AND THIS JUST IN: OUR DREAMS ARE STILL NOT BATTERY POWERED. CAN’T HANDLE THE HIGH-OCTANE TRUTH? TOO BAD. IT’S TIME FOR THE AUTOEXTREMIST YEAR IN REVIEW!
Tuesday, December 20, 2022 at 08:51AM By Peter M. DeLorenzo
Detroit. I have used that word “tumultuous” to describe this business for more than half a decade, and there’s no reason to stop now, because the chaos continues. The auto industry – along with every other industry in this country – has been brutalized by shortages and supply chain issues. We’re living in perilous times, and on every imaginable societal level too. Sometimes writing about this business seems trivial at best, but then again it isn’t, because this industry is leading the way to greener pastures for this nation, whether we’re ready for it or not.
This “Grand Transition” to Battery Electric Vehicles has already been fraught with peril, missteps and wrong turns. No, a switch can’t be “flipped” and it won’t all be figured out with our collective finger snaps either. It will take serious, intensive, all-consuming work in battery development, the judicious use of essential resources, the building out of the charging infrastructure and dramatic improvements in the supply chain to pull this off. And that doesn’t even begin to get at the most difficult marketing challenge in automotive history, which is to create the fundamental desire and want for BEVs.
While the Sturm und Drang continues over this transition, the pushback from people who either don’t believe it will ever happen or don’t believe that it should happen seems to be gaining strength by the day. The reasons are many: The infrastructure isn’t there and won’t be there for years to come. Range continues to be a perceived problem. Charging remains an issue, both for the time it takes and because it in fact excludes apartment dwellers en masse. The list goes on from there. Some people are just disinclined to entertain BEVs under any circumstance, when it comes right down to it.
And I get it, I really do. As someone who grew up immersed in some of the finest high-performance ICE machines ever built, a world that doesn’t echo with the sound of hungry V8s rumbling across the landscape is simply hard to imagine. But then again, as I’ve said repeatedly, those machines will be around for decades to come. They will be collected, nurtured and preserved indefinitely. And that is a very good thing from my perspective.
It’s not as if your local “Donuts, Lotto ‘n Gas” station is going to disappear overnight, taken over by charging islands. It is going to take time. A very long time. But it’s also clear that for a large portion of the driving population, BEVs will become a staple in every geographical region here in the United States. And to pretend otherwise is just foolish at this point.
But what is it about cars, anyway? Is it the fashion statement? The fundamental sense of motion and speed? The image-enhancing power that automobiles possess? Or all of the above?
If anything, I keep going back to the one thing that’s undeniable about our collective love for the automobile, the one thing that no computer simulation – no matter how powerful or creatively enhanced – can compete with. And that is the freedom of mobility. And that will not change in the upcoming BEV era. The ability to go and do, coupled with the freedom to explore and experience, is not only a powerful concept, it is fundamental to the human experience, which is why the automobile in all of its forms remains so compelling and undeniably intoxicating.
The automobile business itself can be mind-numbingly tedious at times, as I’ve well documented over the years. And it is without question one of the most complicated endeavors on earth, made up of so many nuanced ingredients that it almost defies description. But the creation of machines that are safe, reliable, beautiful to look at, fun to drive, versatile or hard working – depending on the task they’re designed for – is more than just a cold, calculated business. It is and has been an industrial art form that has come to define who we are collectively.
The automobile obviously means more to me than it does for most. I grew up immersed in this business, and the passionate endeavor surrounding the creation of automotive art has never stopped being interesting for me. And it is very much art, by the way. Emotionally involving and undeniably compelling mechanical art that not only takes us where we want to go but moves us in ways that still touches our souls deeply.
That AE is as relevant as ever is obvious, except to the critics out there who loathe me and everything about the AE brand. I remind people that this publication has never been about being all things to all people, and I don’t have a compelling need to be liked, which pisses people off even more. In some respects, AE can be good for the mind, because we clear the air and provide a moment of clarity for the lost souls wandering around in the automotive wilderness, the ones who can’t seem to separate the real from the imagined, or the pipe dreams from what’s truly important.
As I’ve said repeatedly, designing, engineering and building automobiles is still one of the most complicated endeavors on earth. And to do it properly takes vision, creativity and an unwavering passion that makes other pursuits seem positively ordinary.
Fortunately, I can say that things are getting better in this business. Fundamental accountability seems to be on the upswing. The days when everyone got a group hug and a trophy just for showing up seem to be waning, at least just a little, replaced by a burgeoning effort to strive to do better, punctuated by attempts to achieve actual greatness.
One extremely positive thing about this “Grand Transition” to EVs? The development is going at a furious pace. Every facet of this transition, from infrastructure and battery composition to vehicle design and execution is front and center. The True Believers are embracing this challenge, which means that there’s no room for abject mediocrity. The challenge is too great and the competition is far too tough.
And even though some of the issues with this “Grand Transition” seem daunting and too far off to become mainstream, there’s no denying that in the hands of the True Believers we will get there. You only have to look as far as the stellar machines of our day. We’re living in the golden age of automotive greatness, in case you haven’t noticed. These machines aren’t the product of “it’s good enough.” Instead, they bristle with the passion, vision and commitment of the men and women who created them, those “True Believers” who are now knee-deep in making this “Grand Transition” work. Let me be clear. if it weren’t for them, this business would be riding on the Last Train to Nowhere.
Thankfully, going against the grain is our specialty here at AE. For many, the kind of unflinching commentary that we specialize in is like a tonic for the soul in this swirling maelstrom of shit masquerading as the world we live in today.
And in case you’re wondering, after all this time, non, je ne regrette rien. Editor’s Note: Edith Piaf sung it best. -WG
WG and I have put together the following highlights from AE from the past year. And don't forget to check out "The Best Of On The Table," "Fumes" and "The Line." I’ll be back at the end with a few closing thoughts.
“But he hasn’t got anything on!” the whole town cried out at last. The continued canonization of certain car executives by certain bootlicking members of the media (and by certain card-carrying hacks on Wall Street) is pegging the AE Disgusto Meter. Being in the right place at the right time and not screwing things up – at least not yet – shouldn’t be a ticket to Sainthood, but alas, in the twisted times we’re living in, that’s what we’re being inundated with. But don’t worry, with every unexpected big-dollar recall and the worrisome upcoming product launches – which will be botched as certain as it snows in Michigan in January – it’s just a question of when and not if that one dubious halo in particular will be irrevocably tarnished. “INTRODUCING THE AE DISGUSTO METER.” (1/5/22)
Can’t stop ‘til I see my name on a blimp. As I’ve stated repeatedly, the companies who can have each foot planted in both arenas – with the ability to manufacture competitive EV and ICE vehicles – will weather this EV transition in the best shape. In the meantime, the more EV vehicles in the market, the more the problems associated with EVs are magnified. “MO EVS, MO PROBLEMS.” (1/12
Long live Jimmy and Sonny! Fast American muscle cars are overflowing in their underground garage, which is an enthusiast's cornucopia of greatest hits. Jimmy was happy to provide me with an update of their Fu-King Motors fleet. They sold-off one of the three Purple Dodge Demons (each modified to deliver 1000HP) to one of their best, long-term suppliers (whose son promptly wrapped it around a light pole). The two original “narrow-hipped” 427 street Cobras remain, along with the matching ‘68 L88 Corvettes. The two new Corvette C8s (one black, one white) are already gone. Jimmy gave his black one to his administrative assistant, and Sonny gave his white one to his latest girlfriend. No worries, Jimmy pointed out, because they each have an upcoming Z06 on order. Their favorite hot rods (and our readers’ favorites, judging by the mail we’ve received) are a couple of custom-built Willys Gasser replicas from the ‘60s powered by race-prepared Chevy 502 big-blocks. These ultimate bad-ass machines – with open headers – are reserved for terrorizing the neighbors in the middle of the night. “FOREVER FU-KING MOTORS.” (1/19)
I get why the latest manufacturer focus is full-zoot rough riders and all-terrain mashers. Sort of. After all, that’s what they think people want in order to attack the Canyons of Costco and the Home Depot hollers. Even if you aren’t planning to go to Moab next week, you could if you wanted to, right? And therein lies the hook. The “hook” that auto manufacturers have exploited since people traded in their horses. (Back then the hooks were: You could sit on the front row at Indianapolis in your BelchFire8, if you wanted to; or you could qualify for Le Mans in your SuperSqualo Meteor, if you wanted to. And even now: You could qualify for an IMSA GT race in your Porsche 911 GT3 RSR, if you wanted to.) Those hooks are lethal, and highly profitable. “INTRODUCING THE OFF-ROAD DUDE RANCH SEGMENT.” (1/26)
We wouldn’t have it any other way. Twenty-three years on, I am proud to say that we still take you "behind the curtain" to give you an up-close look at the Wizards, the Dullards and everyone else in between in this business. I still say what the others are only thinking (or whispering) in deep background or “off-the-record” conversations, and I will continue to do so. Delivering the Truth, The Whole Truth... and absolutely nothing but The High-Octane Truth has been an exhilarating ride. “WRITE HARD, DIE FREE: AN UPDATE.” (2/2)
Reasoned, intelligent discourse? It’s for the history books. Now that we are firmly entrenched in this era of “everyone has ‘rights’ but no one wants the responsibility that comes with them,” it’s no wonder that where we go from here is fraught with peril. In fact, the tone and tenor of our society at large has been a burgeoning nightmare for years, and it continues to negatively reverberate through every aspect of our life as we know it. The chatter hanging in the air and permeating social media is all about “what we deserve,” “what we’re owed,” and oh, by the way, “you suck.” Reasoned, intelligent discourse is for the history books, a quaint notion from a bygone era that’s as obsolete as pay phones. And hand-wringing about it seems to be a fool’s errand as well, because no one cares and everyone wants “what’s mine.” “LESS THAN ZERO.” (2/16)
The Drive. It’s always about The Drive. I made it a weekly ritual that summer, each time emboldened by the fact that there was not only minimal traffic, but the polizei were nowhere to be found. The best run was my last, at least for that summer, when I was able to hammer my Turbo – foot-to-the-proverbial-floor – for ten flat-out, uninterrupted, no-lift miles. Which was an indicated 165+ mph, or thereabouts, on the speedo. Needless to say, it didn’t take 45 minutes to get to Ann Arbor at that speed. And I could enjoy a nice steaming cup of coffee, grinning to myself, before the trip back. “NO PARTICULAR PLACE TO GO.” (2/23)
Yes, it’s a list, I’ll say that much. Is it complete? Oh hell no. But if this is the end of an era, and these are the cars in my ICE Garage to visit and drive while I motor around in the latest BelchFire Electric GT, then I would be exceedingly happy. Needless to say, I don’t plan on going gently into the night. I will hammer whatever I have for all it’s worth and make every single moment count as the glow from the ICE era slowly fades into the twilight. “RAGING AGAINST THE DYING OF THE LIGHT.” (3/2)
1961 Ferrari 250 GT SWB California Spider. What else would you drive down to the Amalfi Coast? It's simply one of the most seductive combinations of speed and style ever created.
(GM)
1963 Chevrolet Corvette Sting Ray. Of the many achievements to come out of GM Styling under the great Bill Mitchell's tutelage, the Corvette Sting Ray remains a singular achievement that is still stunning to this day.
(GM)
Another one of Bill Mitchell's milestone cars: The 1963 Buick Riviera. I actually prefer the '65 with the hidden headlights, but you get the idea.
1964 Shelby American 289 Cobra. Shelby's original creation is still my favorite – compact, lithe and like a bolt of lightning in its day. I am lucky enough to have experienced it in its prime.
1966 Shelby American 427 Cobra. Shelby took his original concept and said "more." The result? A better, wider chassis, better suspension, better steering and brakes, and, of course, big horsepower. It is still, to this day, one of the most ferocious sports cars ever built. (And no, not the "S/C" version; the street version with under car exhausts.)
(Richard Michael Owen/Supercars.net)
1966 Lamborghini Miura P400. Groundbreaking in design and engineering, the mid-engine Miura remains one of the most significant cars of its era.
1973 Porsche 911 RS. I have many "favorite" Porsches from over the years, including the present-day 718 GT4. But if I could have only one - actually, if I could only have one vehicle in my ICE Garage - the 911 RS would be it.
(Ferrari)
Yes, I would prefer the mid-engine, 829HP V12-powered Ferrari Daytona SP3 - our 2021 Autoextremist Car of the Year - but that isn't happening. Frankly, the new 2022 Ferrari 296 GTB isn't happening either, but, wow: What. A. Machine.
(Chevrolet)
And the 2023 Chevrolet Corvette Stingray Z06. It's everything the new mid-engine Corvette is, and much, much more. It's a tribute to GM's True Believers, who deserve all of the kudos coming their way.
(Dodge)
2022 Dodge Challenger R/T Scat Pack Shaker Widebody. I would need to have one, purely Bad Ass car in my ICE Garage, and no, I don’t need a Hellcat. The normally-aspirated 392 Hemi V8 would do just fine.
We’ve seen this movie before; it never ends well. So, in order for Ford to get to that “Shining City on the Hill” and the future promised by millions of Shiny Happy EVs of all stripes and segments dotting the landscape and boasting their blue ovals, the ICE vehicles will have to pull their weight indefinitely, and that fundamental transition to The Future will have to occur seamlessly with no hiccups or disruptions. But this business flat-out doesn’t work that way, especially at Ford, where botched launches and crushing warranty costs are standard operating procedure. Combine that with a maliciously incompetent purchasing department and an IT function that still operates with Stone Age-like precision, at best, and you have a continuing recipe for disaster, despite the visionary protestations from the CEO. “SAME AS IT EVER WAS.” (3/9)
We don’t call it the “wandering spirit” for nothin’. What does it all mean? As I said, our individual and collective experiences with cars and being on the road are seared in our memories and are irreplaceable. Where we’ve been has everything to do with who we are. This nation was transformed with a wandering spirit that allowed us to roam for the sheer hell of it. And our culture was and is still defined by it. I’m afraid if we lose that piece of who we are, we will lose a large part of the soul of this nation. Our machines may change, but our need to wander never will. “THINKIN’ ‘BOUT THE TIMES I DROVE IN MY CAR, PART I.” (3/16)
I am the passenger. I am a Technicolor Dream Cat riding this kaleidoscope of life. I’ve seen some things, indeed, more than most. Magic things. Loud things. Fast things. I once looked up at a ghostly tornado finger drifting overhead in Flint. It was ominous and beyond scary. A lot of people died that day too. But then, a few years later, I saw my first 707 hanging in the sky. It was majestic and powerful. And the Jet Age was on. I got introduced to horsepower, side pipes and chrome, and I happily got sucked in. Corvettes and 409s, GTOs and Starfires. And Sting Rays. Forever Sting Rays. And in the midst of all that, I bought and rebuilt a Bug go-kart, had the Mac 6 engine rebuilt and hopped-up, painted it bright orange, and spent one summer terrorizing our neighborhood. I dubbed it the Orange Juicer Mk. 1, and found out how fast 60 mph felt that low to the ground. It was everything, all the time. “IT WAS GOOD. AND HARD. AND FAST.” (3/23)
“Good enough” is never good enough. The stellar machines of our day – and we are living in the golden age of automotive greatness in case you haven’t noticed – aren’t the product of “it’s good enough.” Instead, these machines bristle with the passion, vision and commitment of the men and women who created them, those “True Believers” that I often write about. If it weren’t for them, this business would be riding on the Last Train to Nowhere, next stop, Oblivion. Railing against mediocrity and mediocrity “creep” is an essential component of the Autoextremist Manifesto. “THE AUTOEXTREMIST MANIFESTO RECHARGED.” (4/13)
The silence will be deafening. I intend on immersing myself in the experience of a high-performance ICE V8 for as long as I possibly can. Because despite the eye-popping performance numbers generated by EVs, they will never compare to the thrilling aural appeal of a high-performance ICE machine. It's just not possible. When the streets and byways of America go silent with the perceived – both real and imagined – bliss of BEVs, and the sounds of ICE Age machines slowly fade away except for special car events and at racetracks, I am quite sure about one thing: We’re going to miss it. “WE’RE GOING TO MISS IT.” (5/4)
Personal mobility is a powerful concept, and the freedom it brings to people cannot be overstated. And it will remain that way too. Yes, in our urban city centers compromises must and will be reached. But this is a vast country, and people will still want to roam to the far reaches of it. And the automobile - newly reinvigorated and environmentally cleansed - will still play an integral role in America’s everyday life for a long, long time to come. “CARRY ON.” (6/1)
A legacy worth remembering. But in the face of a business that grows more rigid, regulated and non-risk-taking by the day, there are still lessons to be learned from the legacy of Bill Mitchell in particular. If anything, we must remember what really matters in this business above all else – something he instinctively knew in his gut – and that is to never forget the essence of the machine, and what makes it a living, breathing mechanical conduit of our hopes and dreams. “DESIGN MATTERS.” (7/6)
What makes us gravitate to one shoe or another? Design. What about to a coat or a particular pair of boots? Design. And how about furniture? Design. Everything we come across as we go about our day is directly attributable to design, from residential and commercial architecture to graphic presentations in videos and on TV, and everything and anything in between. Even mundane places – such as gas stations and their attached convenience stores – have graphic designs helping to create their look and feel. Design sets the tone and creates an ambience, and even if we’re not consciously aware of its power and influence, it is always there. And when it comes to automobiles, of course, it’s no secret that the power and influence of design are magnified exponentially. Design not only matters in the automobile business: It. Is. Everything. “DESIGN MATTERS, PART II.” (7/13)
That intro was kind of a labyrinthian way of getting to my final discussion topic, which is a question that I get asked all the time: “Given everything you know (and have discussed especially these past few weeks), who’s doing design well right now?” That’s the billion-dollar question, isn’t it? Design matters more now than at any other time in automotive history. In this 24/7, nanosecond-attention-span world we live in today, the hot “street look” of the moment captures all the attention and interest, and usually results in red-hot sales figures too. Exotic cars lead the discussion, but just because a car is expensive doesn’t mean its design is automatically compelling. Unless, of course we’re talking about Ferrari. The newest Ferrari – the 296 GTB – is compact, lightweight and has a taut skin that stretches over its fenders and haunches to create a damn-near perfect form. It is simply extraordinary from every angle, and it is the definitive supercar of the moment. “DESIGN MATTERS, PART III.” (7/20)
(Ferrari)
The 2022 Ferrari 296 GTB.
(Ferrari)
(Ferrari)
(Ferrari)
As I’ve said many times before, the artisans who toil in design studios are the most influential people in the automobile business. They set the tone for brands and lead the word-of-mouth, “street look” discussions, and their visionary work can make – or break – a car company’s fortunes, as I stated previously. This work requires, vision, discipline and a savagely creative mindset that is instantly graded the moment the wraps are taken off of their latest designs. It is a tough, tough profession, but when you talk to designers, most wouldn’t trade it for anything. Seeing something in concept or production form that they had a key role in creating presents a level of exhilaration that’s extremely hard to beat. As if to underscore my series on Design, the Cadillac CELESTIQ is the most stunning vehicle to appear on the automotive scene in 25 years. Period. GM Design, under Michael Simcoe’s leadership, has not only returned Cadillac to being “The Standard of the World,” but the support given to nurture the development of this machine speaks volumes about GM upper management’s commitment to projecting GM as an industry leader into the EV Age. “THE CADILLAC CELESTIQ: SPECTACULAR WOW.” (7/27)
(GM Design images)
If you can’t afford it, you won’t bother even asking. But in the midst of all of these crises and the swirling maelstrom driving this market, there’s one more crisis that this industry has refused to take meaningful strides against, and that is the crisis of affordability. I’ve written about this often, and I will write about it many times in the future I’m sure. But the basic affordability of vehicles is slipping away and we’re watching it unfurl like a train wreck in slow motion. “THE AFFORDABILITY CRISIS.” (8/3)
This just in: We’re Not There Yet. In terms of the supply chain issues, the endless search for precious metals, realistic charging speeds and the national charging infrastructure itself, this industry is not even close to being there yet. Add in the fact that consumers, even with sky-high gas prices, have to be sold on the fundamental efficacy of EVs – let me repeat that, have to be sold on the fundamental efficacy of EVs – and you have a Grand Transition to EVs that’s fraught with peril meted out in fits and starts. Going forward, some days are going to be all Blue Sky and Big Dreams, and others are going to plumb the depths of despair. “WE’RE NOT THERE YET.” (8/10)
Swinging Dickism, still present and accounted for. It’s the same luxury accoutrements, the same rote regurgitation of “luxury” words and phrases that are mumbled in an interchangeable soundtrack from brand to brand, and the same platitudes and cloying familiarity that blend together in a dismal cadence of vacuous-ness that goes by like a blur of marketing cotton candy, a fleeting sugar rush of pseudo substance followed by the inevitable crash of emptiness. Yet automakers drop, collectively, at least a hundred million dollars out in Monterey every year like clockwork. Why? Because the lingering question hanging over the marketing troops isn’t, “Maybe we ought to reevaluate this whole thing” but, “What happens if we’re not there?” Which isn’t exactly an answer that makes a lick of sense, now does it? “SWINGING DICKISM WRIT LARGE: WELCOME TO MONTEREY CAR WEEK.” (8/16)
To say that the ‘50s and ‘60s were a different era in automotive history is not painting a proper picture of just how different it was. Detroit was much more of a freewheeling mindset back then. Car executives were bold, decisive, conniving, creative and power-hungry personalities who inevitably went with their gut instincts – which could end up being either a recipe for disaster or a huge runaway sales hit on the streets. The only committees you'd find back then were the finance committees – and they never got near the design, engineering, marketing or even the advertising unless there was some sort of a problem. These Car Kings worked flat-out and they partied flat-out, too, ruling their fiefdoms with iron fists, while wielding their power ruthlessly at times to get what they wanted – and rightly so in their minds – as they were some of the most powerful business executives on earth. In short, it was a world that was 180 degrees different from what goes on today. “THE FLYING CAMARO.” (8/24)
How did the car “thing” evolve from desiring faster horses, to the building of transportation that transformed the world? What propelled the automobile from being an extravagant convenience, to a cultural touchstone that’s such an inexorable part of the American fabric that even the most hostile of the anti-car hordes can’t seem to dampen our collective enthusiasm for it? Is it the fashion statement? The fundamental sense of motion and speed? The image-enhancing power that automobiles possess? Or all of the above? If anything, I keep going back to the one thing that’s undeniable about our collective love for the automobile, the one thing that no computer simulation - no matter how powerful or creatively enhanced - can compete with. And that is the freedom of mobility. “FOR THE PLAIN UNVARNISHED HELL OF IT.” (8/31)
You’re damn right I ordered the Code Red! Oh, and one more thing. I refuse to sit by and let manufacturers create artificial sounds for their EVs and call it “good” or acceptable. Stellantis is touting the artificially-created muscle sound emanating from its new Charger EV prototype as something that is authentic and desirable. But that is Unmitigated Bush League Bullshit. Electronic-generated and projected sound – no matter how enhanced – is the quintessential definition of synthetic phoniness. There is nothing “authentic” about it and there is no “there” there. The High-Octane Truth is that it is flat-out stupid, no matter how it’s presented. And it’s the most depressing development to hit this business in a long, long time. “SOME OF YOU CAN’T HANDLE THE HIGH-OCTANE TRUTH.” (9/14)
And there are no “finger snaps” or flipping of a giant switch to make this all happen instantly, either. It’s a relentless grind marked by fits and starts. Major problems are counteracted by little victories, which ultimately result in meaningful progress. It’s the day-in, day-out of it all that’s the reality for the talented men and women in the trenches working on making the EV “thing” happen. Is progress being made? Absolutely. The pace of noteworthy developments is accelerating. Remarkably enough, it mirrors what happened with the invention of the automobile way back when. Back then, the developments came in waves in little shops scattered around the Midwest and the rest of the world. People with vision and drive transformed the horseless carriage from being a curious novelty to a vehicle that fundamentally changed the world. And history is on the cusp of repeating itself. “ONLY THE BEGINNING.” (9/21)
It’s hard to believe now, but Pontiac was just another GM division back in the mid-‘50s. It had a lineup of stodgy cars, and there was nothing to write home about. The division existed under the GM corporate umbrella, but it was decidedly lacking in just about everything when compared to GM’s other divisions: Buick, Cadillac, Chevrolet and Oldsmobile. But that would all change when Bunkie Knudsen was appointed a GM vice president and the division’s general manager in July of 1958. Knudsen was given the assignment to inject some life into the division and increase sales, and he was given carte blanche to do it. “SOUL SURVIVOR.” (9/28)
(Pontiac)
Editor's Note: This is Peter's famous ad for the 1981 Pontiac Trans Am Turbo V-8. As Peter says, "It was a different time and a different era." Truer words were never spoken. -WG
If you’ve often wondered what goes on in high-level meetings at an auto company, today is your lucky day. Let me introduce The Players in attendance: The Chief Financial Officer (CFO). The Chief of Manufacturing (COM). The PR Chief (PRC). The Divisional President (TDP). The Chief Marketing Officer (CMO). The Chief Technical Officer (CTO). And, of course, the Chief Executive Officer (CEO). On today’s agenda is a crucial product launch, which is sort of redundant, since they’re all crucial, but nonetheless, it’s the subject at hand. And as is his wont, the CEO opens the meeting... “BAKING IT IN.” (10/12)
Speaking of unctuous pricks… The human condition is ripe for egomaniacal behavior, in any endeavor. That this afflicts automotive CEOs more so than others in this business is no secret and no surprise. After a while, with bootlicking sycophants constantly lapping at their feet and agreeing with every random thought balloon uttered, it’s easy to see how these executives lose their way. Look no further than Elon Musk, the new Unctuous Prick in Chief. That Musk openly hawked “full self-driving” on his Teslas – and charged customers through the nose for it – when it never worked, was the most egregiously unconscionable act ever perpetrated on this business, and that’s saying something with the VW Group’s diesel cheating fiasco still fresh on everyone’s minds. If there’s any justice left at all in this world, the criminal charges being discussed right now for Tesla at the DOJ will result in billions – not millions – but billions of dollars in fines meted out to that company. (I’m thinking that a nice round 50 billion ought to cover it.) Amazingly enough, there are certain CEO-types in this business who openly admire that walking, talking Muskian Nightmare, which is just pathetic and sad, and their respective companies are going to pay dearly for their blind fealty, especially when their company overlords aren’t paying attention. “THE HIGH-OCTANE TRUTHS, PART I.” (11/2)
As long as we’re living in this automotive Twilight Zone between the end of the ICE era and the dawn of the BEV era, things are bound to be more than a little unsettled. Or boring. Or both. It seems like the entire industry is lost in that traditional mindset of "It won't be long now!" Translation? Give us another year and we'll be smokin'. In the meantime, have another SUV and you'll be fine. Or something like that. If the boring and soulless EQE SUV and AMG EQE SUV are the best Mercedes can do for its EV SUV entrants, then we are doomed, and this industry is officially out of ideas. With that in mind then, I have a few questions for you (as inspired by one of my heroes, David Byrne)... “SAME AS IT EVER WAS.” (11/9)
Changing the subject, there is definitely a virulent anti-EV faction “out there” that is equating the notion of the “Grand Transition” to EVs as some sort of plot against politically right-leaning individuals. The vitriol aimed at anything to do with EVs – and any individual who comments on it one way or the other – is growing uglier by the day. It’s easy to see why this ugliness is happening too. It’s part and parcel of the deterioration of any shred of rational discourse that has consumed this country over the last six years. The polarization of our society has now crept into the EV vs. ICE discussions, and it is truly unfortunate. “THE YEAR OF THE DANGEROUS IN-BETWEEN.” (11/30)
Despite the societal headlong rush into EVs, it turns out that my dreams are still not battery-powered. They are fuel-injected and raucous, a cacophony of thumping V8s, boosted flat-sixes and screaming V12s, playing out in a kaleidoscope of frenzied images and frantic video POVs that piece together a lifetime. There is little rhyme or reason, no detectable pattern and the furthest thing from a chronological order that you can possibly imagine. They are nightmarishly chaotic and, in some cases, achingly real. It turns out that the leap from 2030 to 2035 is dramatic and for some, like me, frightening. “THE BEAST IN ME.” (12/14)
It’s probably not surprising to most of you out there that I still have The Hunger, the yearning deep in my soul for something more. I still take life in fleeting moments as I always have. Devouring a country road with a great driving machine will never, ever get old. Drinking in a majestic, threatening sky or a powerful landscape. Breathing in the crisp, cool air of fall while nature’s paintbrush unfolds. The sheer joy of watching the unfiltered lives of animals as they weave their spell throughout our lives.
But my total embrace of the automobile business? Needless to say, it is evolving. I still relish the emotional power of a brilliantly conceived and executed advertising campaign. I’m still in awe of a breathtaking design execution, and I still relish being drawn into its presence on the road. And I will always honor the True Believers in this business, the men and women who make a difference every damn day.
But the commoditization of this business grew tedious for me years ago. Some might say, “That is just not true, there are exceptions to that part of the business.” To that I say, really? Have you ever seen a picture taken outside of an exotic luxury automaker, with rows and rows of its production of super-hot vehicles lined up like so much cord wood? It tends to dampen the notion of exclusivity immediately.
So, I will pick and choose my involvement – and my interest – in this business as I always have. But I will always be on the lookout for more, or what’s next, or what’s new.
Something that resonates deep in my soul.
Something that captures my imagination.
Something that satisfies The Hunger.
As U2 so eloquently put it, “I still haven’t found what I’m looking for.”
And that’s the High-Octane Truth for 2022. WordGirl and I wish the best to all of you out there, and we hope you and yours enjoy the Holiday season and have a Happy and Peaceful New Year.