HAGGARD HACKS, RECALCITRANT TWERPS AND THE USUAL SUSPECTS. DUCK AND COVER, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, IT'S TIME FOR THE AUTOEXTREMIST YEAR IN WORDS.
Thursday, December 12, 2019 at 04:37PM By Peter M. DeLorenzo
Detroit. The 20th year of Autoextremist.com was another memorable trip through the swirling maelstrom that defines this business. With its usual ups and downs and backwards and sideways maneuvers, this year in the auto industry was its most frantic yet.
Without further ado then, our best words from 2019... excerpted from our Year in Rants.
At the opposite end of the spectrum, those aforementioned wide-open spaces? They can be beautifully breathtaking. Moab. The Painted Desert. The Grand Canyon. The Badlands. Yosemite. Yellowstone. The Continental Divide. Joshua Tree National Park. Glacier National Park. Big Sur. We daydream about them, write about them, photograph them and paint them. They make us feel alive and invigorated, they can make us feel incredibly small and inconsequential, too, but they are oddly life-affirming and precious at the same time. (Everyone should drive across this great country at least once to be immersed in those wide-open spaces; it remains the quintessential American experience.)
Our relationship to space says a lot about who we are and how we live life. I tend to avoid confined spaces, much preferring the wide-open spaces both in the physical realm and in thought. Needless to say, a narrowly defined path never really suited me. Tom Petty had it right when he said, “The sky was the limit.”
As it should be. (“Into The Great Wide Open.” December 11th)
The inexorable march of time consumes our every waking moment; in fact, it looms over our heads like a giant Big Ben hanging in the sky. And what can we do about it, exactly? Not much. Let me clarify that. Time shouldn’t hang over our heads, just the opposite in fact. Time should be cherished. It should be relished and exulted in. Savor every moment, because it turns out that is the best use of our time. (“Does Anybody Really Know What Time It Is?” December 4th)
Why was I asked to meet him (Iacobelli)? He said that my series of columns about FCA and Marchionne “were so devastatingly accurate that the company virtually stopped to digest them whenever they came out.” And given my writings, he felt that "you are the only person who I can trust to tell the inside story of what really went on, preferably in a book." My columns were so pointedly accurate that, “they were convinced that you had insiders at the very top levels of the company secreting info to you.” (I didn’t.) And that, “Marchionne and his crew had a complete meltdown over your columns on a regular basis.” (I knew this to be true, as I had been told this multiple time over Marchionne’s reign.)
Over those two meetings, Iacobelli presented a devastating account of just how deep the payoffs to UAW officials actually were. The FCA-UAW training centers were a complete joke, with UAW members reporting to the centers to do nothing, if they bothered to show up at all. And the tales of payments for plane trips, vacations, binges in Las Vegas and myriad other gifts, cash and prizes were eye-opening, including a $2 million retirement party for an outgoing UAW executive that was staged in Las Vegas. Iacobelli said approximately $250,000 a month was spent keeping the UAW officials in line, in some months less, but in some months much more than that. And it was all designed to extract favorable considerations from the UAW, which translated into reduced labor costs to FCA.
And Iacobelli named names. In fact, every single UAW official revealed by the Feds so far as having been either indicted or under scrutiny was mentioned by Iacobelli. He said, “they were all on the take and were all going down,” and he was dead right. And make no mistake, Marchionne was up to his eyeballs in every bit of it, according to Iacobelli. In fact, given what he said – including Marchionne gifting expensive watches to key UAW officials with a carefully-worded note attached so they couldn’t be construed to having any value - I surmised that Marchionne would have been indicted if he hadn’t passed away, and Iacobelli didn’t disagree with my assessment. (I never spoke to Iacobelli again, but I still think it would make for a fascinating book that would probably destroy what passes for the UAW these days.) (“Three Things.” November 27th)
It’s clear to me that this “Cyber Truck" is going to be a niche of a niche vehicle. It is no threat to what the mainstream truck manufacturers are doing, and besides, they will have fully-functional electric pickups of their own by late 2021. (Musk claims that the Tesla “Cyber Truck” will appear in 2021 but given his highly-dubious track record I wouldn’t expect it until 2022, if not later.)
And let me reiterate this notion of fully functional. The “Cyber Truck” is a long way from being that (the “protective glass” demo that went awry already underscored that, live and in color). Again, given Musk’s track record of letting buyers do the final development on its vehicles, to say it will trickle out in fits and starts is an understatement. The people who don’t blindly buy into the pronouncements from Dear Leader Musk understand this. The rest? Well, they already have a picture of the “Cyber Truck” as their screen savers; not much you can do with that, or them. The Muskolytes believe in whatever Musk tells them to believe and they will blindly proclaim their love for the Dear Leader, so that they might bathe in his brilliance.
The Tesla “Cyber Truck” will be a “pickup” for elitist swells who truly believe they have it goin’ on. In fact, the entire BEV pickup space is going to be carved into little niches (see Bollinger, etc.). So, if you want to pretend that you’re an F22 pilot, Tesla has your number. As for the rest of the real pickup buyers out there? I’m sure they’ll do just fine without it. (“Three Things.” November 27th)
And the third thing? Try, at least for a moment, to do your part to quell the rancor and chaos that has become part and parcel of our daily life here in America. Try to put aside the knee-jerk reactions and aggressive pronouncements; try to savor the moment of peace and be thankful for the blessings that you do have, instead of harboring resentments for what you don’t.
Happy Thanksgiving to you and yours. (“Three Things.” November 27th)
Ford, like every other automaker, is hell-bent not to be left behind in the BEV race, because that would mean a death sentence, a sign that it is desperately unhip and even worse, irrelevant. So instead of crowning its emboldened thrust into the “next” market with a new nameplate that would signal a new Ford, they hang the Mustang name on it from out of the blue, to the collective groans of “huh?” Right now, Ford gets the participation award for coming up with a “me-too” electrified crossover with a patently stupid and ill-advised moniker. And that’s it. But rather than leave you with that thought, I’ll leave you with this: Ford is calling the Mustang Mach-E a 2021 model, which will be out one year from now. Rest assured, given Ford’s dubious track record of blown product launches of late, the likelihood of a Mach-E hitting dealer showrooms in any meaningful numbers before the spring of 2021 is slim. And none. (“Ford Gets A Participation Award For The Mach-E. Now what?” November 20th)
Well, there was one more episode still worth grinning about after all of these years. After we had been running for hours in 85-degree heat and we were all covered in oil residue and sweat, a local township cop car pulled into the driveway at about four o’clock in the afternoon. We were ready to go out for one more run and he knew it. Stone. Cold. Busted. The young (thank goodness) officer got out of his car and paused for a moment. Now, needless to say, we weren’t supposed to be running the Orange Juicer on the street, but it was so damn addictive we couldn’t help it. So, the officer says, “Nice kart. Now you boys weren’t running it through the neighborhood today, were you.” We all answered in unison, “No, sir.” Then, with a big grin he said, “I didn’t think so.” And he got in his car and left. (“The Saga Of The Orange Juicer.” November 13th)
The sameness of the SUV/Crossover Hell we’re living in right now is undeniable. The suburban slog around here is populated with massive pickup trucks and SUV/Crossovers. Audi? BMW? Cadillac? Mercedes-Benz? Porsche? Ford? Chevrolet? GMC? Buick? Does it really matter? They’re all variations on the same SUV/Crossover theme; they run together in a blur of alleged practicality – and hugeness that has grown to be mind-numbing and relentlessly tedious. That’s why when a car like a Challenger or a Corvette rumbles by, or even a crisply executed sedan appears out of the blue, it’s almost a revelation. Will the pendulum ever swing back? I am out there looking for it right now but given the projected designs I am seeing for the Electrification Age I am more than a little concerned. Designers around the globe appear to be stuck in neutral designing variations on the rolling box theme, shifting a line here, playing with the greenhouse there and coming up with basically the same damn thing. How uninspiring is that? (“Oh Pendulum, Where Art Thou?” November 6th)
I think EVs will have success in the higher-end segments and in very specific niche applications. For instance, Bollinger seems to have the right idea with its trucks in that they are starting with the premise that they have no intention of being all things to all people, and because of this “not for everyone” positioning the company has a good chance at being successful for buyers with access to horse country, hunting lodges and ranches, and who think nothing of spending thousands on a weekend hunting outfit, even though the only hunting they might do is for an older bourbon that no one else has. As for the monster ICE machines, I say bring ‘em on. Because the day the sound and fury fades away is the day life as we know it will get darker and less interesting.
A scary thought indeed. (“Monsters And Other Scary Stuff.” October 30th)
In case you're wondering, the “whys” will continue to vex this business as long as it exists. It’s a simple formula, actually: Complacency + mediocrity = loss of customers and market share. And from there the downward spiral begins. (“Things That Make You Ask… Why?” October 23rd)
But the good times couldn’t last, because over time the German automakers got sloppy and greedy. Their collective arrogance deluded them into thinking that everything they touched would automatically turn to gold in the U.S. market. They started churning out models for every niche – both real and imagined – they could think of. Model proliferation became standard operating procedure, and they started playing in segments they had no business being in. Going down-market, the German manufacturers started peeling the luster off of their brand images, layer by layer, year by year.
And even worse, in their quest to generate more and more volume, the German automakers started playing big in the leasing game, becoming so dependent on incentivized leasing to prop up their sales that leasing now accounts for around 50 percent and above of monthly sales volumes for Audi, BMW and Mercedes-Benz. (You’ve all seen the ads. the seductive - and illusory - lease number per month that sounds great until you factor in the down stroke, which adds at least $200-$300 per month to the total.) But those low payments have a devastating cost, resulting in highly depressed residuals at the end of the leases, which is where all of the aforementioned hand-wringing comes in. This just in: It simply isn’t sustainable. (“The Sun Sets On The German Car Thing.” October 16th)
The reality was that a Haggard Hack du jour from the fill-in-the-blank car company was dancing in front of his or her bosses – and the press – to save his or her job after a shocking decline in sales, blown product introductions, and our favorite go-to reason: serial incompetence. A dead giveaway in these pressers is when said executive gets up to talk about a vehicle that is at least eighteen months away, but everyone in the room knows that’s only if the planets align just right and that particular car company manages to launch the first product in its recent history on time, on budget and with no issues. And given that particular car company’s past performances, the chances of that happening are slim. And none. After sitting through one too many of these presentations – an exercise in Tedious Maximus, as Janice says (we don’t call her WordGirl for nothin’) – we developed our own phrase for automotive futility, aka “It Won’t Be Long Now!” (“Haggard Hacks And Glorified Vaporware.” October 9th)
Back to this fundamental transformation thing. The dawn of the Electric Era is going to be a jarring adjustment. The “emotionally charged and richer” part will consist of manufactured sounds that will be inner directed to the people inside the cars and SUVs (and in some cases projected so that pedestrians can hear an oncoming vehicle). As for the actual sounds of a BEV, there’s no real “there” there. Don’t think that’s true? Have you watched a Formula E race lately? I would like to say that it’s like watching paint dry, but that would do a disservice to the beauty of the drying process. The all-electric open-wheel racing series has zero visceral appeal because it has no urgency of sound. Nothing resonates in your gut except for the dulcet tones of slot car sets from childhoods gone by. And that’s what’s going to happen to our streets and byways. And please spare me the idea that the performance of the BEVs will make up for everything else that’s not quite right, because it just isn’t going to work that way. The new sound of silence that will permeate everything about everyday life will be a massive adjustment for everyone. And for a lot of people, that adjustment will be ongoing well into the future. We are about to enter a quiet period where the guttural moans from muscle cars and the searing shrieks from exotic sports cars will become welcome respites from the sewing machine cacophony that will come to define the Electric Era. As a kind of hush falls all over the world. (“There Will Be A Kind Of Hush All Over The World.” October 2nd)
We’ve clearly entered the “Duck and Cover” phase in this business. Past transgressions are coming to light, new issues are bubbling just below the surface, and the churn and burn of money marches on unimpeded. A caution to the auto executives out there currently enjoying their time in the sun: You might be next. (“Duck And Cover.” September 25th)
The ugly reality for the UAW is that this ongoing investigation could very well mean the end of the UAW as a functioning entity. So, UAW management can squawk and preen and talk tough all they want, but the clock is ticking on their very existence, and they refuse to acknowledge that fact. (“Strike Out.” September 18th)
So, here we are. With the vestiges of Akerson’s Reign of Terror finally purged from the GM system, the newly enlightened management of GM has finally seen fit to address the Black Hole of GM marketing that has plagued the company for years with the promotion of Deborah Wahl to Chief Marketing Officer. As I wrote at the beginning of this column and in last week’s “On the Table,” Wahl is exceedingly smart and one of the industry’s best and the brightest, and she’s a brilliant choice for the role. But she has a tall order to gain control of GM’s marketing function, because that function has been rudderless and devalued for so long that it’s downright criminal. In fact, there are some players within the GM marketing troops who have been operating within their self-created fiefdoms for so long that it has been like the Wild West, with little accountability thrown in for good measure. Nowhere is that more apparent than at Chevrolet. (“The First Order Of Business For GM’s New CMO? Chevrolet.” (September 11th)
Now, almost half-way through our 20th year, I am proud to say that we’re still doing what we do best. We still take you "behind the curtain" to give you an up-close look at the Wizards, the Dullards and everyone else in between in this business. I still say what the others are only thinking (or whispering) in deep background or “off-the-record” conversations, and I will continue to do so. And this publication will continue to influence the influencers every single week, even though they're loath to admit it.
Delivering The Truth, The Whole Truth... and absolutely nothing but The High-Octane Truth has been an exhilarating ride. (“Write Hard, Die Free, Part III.” September 4th)
The tedium of everyday life doesn’t warrant the use of the word “journey.” Dragging your ass to the local Gas ‘N Flask for a cup of coffee and a gut bomb that’s allegedly healthy on the way to work doesn’t constitute a “journey.” Roaming the aisles at Costco may be mildly amusing, but a “journey?” Hardly. Standing in line at the Post Office may feel like a “journey” but you know it isn’t; it’s just another tedious civic requirement that bites us in the ass, like a visit to the Secretary of State’s office. (Okay, visiting the SOS office isn’t a journey, it’s sanctioned torture for all who enter.) And then there’s the whole thing about the journey being the destination, or is it the destination is the journey? I get confused with all of this journeying. Why ask why? I do know that every car commercial these days is some sort of journey of discovery. A journey that will reconnect us with our souls on the way to finding out that this is one fine automobile! (“Amazing Journeys.” August 28th)
Let’s face it, the “hobby” has turned into a nightmare. The notion of “important” collectible automobiles with notable “provenance” that were lusted after for the sheer thrill of being next to one of the most coveted machines ever built fell afoul of the scammers and speculators years ago. Greed became the “hobby’s” cottage industry, and values were regularly skewed to an unconscionable level as a matter of course. This trend redefined the term “stupid money” and took it to an entirely new level. My go-to barometer for all of this was the absurd run-up in prices for air-cooled Porsche 911s. Yes, prices have appeared to have finally softened – albeit only slightly - after a half-decade of out-of-control frenzy, but still, $100,000+ for an old 911 is de rigueur, and it still basically sucks. The second big story to emerge from Monterey Car Week was the rise of the hypercar. What is a hypercar, exactly? Good question. These are fantasy machines that really have no rhyme or reason. There is no connection to any road-going reality with these machines because the idea of driving them on the street is beyond laughable. The manufacturers love to boast that these hypercars allow them to showcase their technological might and creative vision, but that is unmitigated bullshit. No, these bespoke projectiles are designed to extricate as much money as possible from fools who have too much money. (Swinging Dickism Writ Large.” August 21st)
So, as we wait for the death of the automobile and the industry as we know it, and suffer through this lingering interregnum, I have a message for the True Believers at all of the car companies: Don’t ever forget that you’re in the business of designing, engineering and building the best cars and trucks that you can possibly muster right now and in the foreseeable future. As long as you relentlessly execute to that goal, this industry will continue to not only be relevant and survive, but maybe even thrive.
Because this just in: the Jetsons, at least for now and until further notice, was just a cartoon. (The Lingering Interregnum, Part II.” August 7th)
But Fairy Tales have never found purchase in the car business. In fact, this business is littered with bad stories and even worse outcomes that started out bathed in sweetness and light and boundless optimism. Nissan is paying for the years of abuse in the way it conducted its business, especially here in this market. It cranked out volume and shoved it down its dealer throats. And the rest? It was dumped in rental car fleets to pump up the numbers. Nissan lived off consumer incentives in the U.S. market for years, because that was the only way they could meet Ghosn’s ridiculous sales projections. And the products were too often middling to mediocre and sold not because of their inherent goodness, but because it was a “deal,” which made matters worse. (The Week That Wasn’t.” July 31st)
(Chevrolet images)
In summary, my negative comments about the rear of the car can’t take away from the fact that I think this new Corvette is an incredible achievement and a testament to the True Believers at GM Design, Engineering and Product Development. And even though there are quite a few hardcore Corvette traditionalists out there who decry the loss of the old front engine configuration, this is a spectacular machine by every measure: visual appeal, performance, engineering detail and outstanding value. And it will appeal to owners of competitive makes - including Porsche, with its skyrocketing prices - for the first time. Until further notice, the new Chevrolet Corvette Stingray is the most seductive combination of design, performance and value available in the market. (“The New Corvette.” July 24th)
As I said when we first introduced our Brand Image Meter seven years ago, when it comes to the power of brands and the inescapable importance of brand image: “It’s the one thing that car companies – both good and bad – cannot escape. How a brand is perceived can make or break a car company, regardless of how long and illustrious a run that brand has enjoyed up until any given point in time, because one false move or one discordant note can be crippling in a matter of months.”
Not surprisingly, none of that has changed, and image wrangling is now the Number 1 priority in this business. Why? The democratization of technology and luxury has allowed auto manufacturers the world over to have access to the crucial ingredients that make automobiles desirable. And with supplier expertise greater than ever, any car company can dial up a witch’s brew of ingredients to compete in almost any segment they set their sights on. But does having the right cocktail of ingredients mean that success will be guaranteed? Not a chance, because the expertise of the rest of the organization in terms of design, engineering and product development comes into play. And even if the entire package is indeed thoroughly executed to the highest standards, the last and most meaningful ingredient – brand image – has to be there in order for the effort to come together. (“The Autoextrenist Brand Image VIII: The Throw Me A Frickin’ Bone Edition.” June 5th)
I am lucky in that I found something in Autoextremist.com that has kept me motivated and sharp for 20 years. And I truly appreciate the fact that I have it. We’re very proud of what we achieved here, and extremely thankful for the support, for the kind words and for all of the True Believers we’ve met along the way. It has been all-encompassing. It has been tough. And it has been, at times, soul-sucking exhausting. But if I had a do-over, I would do it all over again. Because even though it has been a relentless grind, I am very proud to say that we’ve made a difference and we’ve made a lasting impact. We set out to influence the influencers in this business and that is exactly what we did and will continue to do. It has been one glorious ride. (“Twenty Years.” May 24th)
To me the end of model proliferation for model proliferation’s sake is a very big deal. It has been such a part of this circus for so long that for the industry to now walk back from it is a measure of just how much the industry is in the throes of definitive change. We’re not talking about a few wispy clouds in the industry’s coffee these days. No, these churning, 70,000-foot thunderheads are ready to unleash their fury on this business for decades to come. (“Thunderheads.” May 19th)
If Nissan’s Japanese executives actually believe they can extricate the company from this mess in a short period of time, they are sadly misguided. Because of product cadence, poor product execution and a vacuous marketing strategy, it will take the better part of a decade for Nissan to get back on track. Suffice to say, Nissan’s continued presence in this market is not guaranteed by any stretch. In fact, I wouldn’t be surprised if the company is merged or absorbed, because it’s clear that Nissan’s Japanese executives spend most of their time searching for a clue. And in a business that runs on “what have you done for us lately?”, that’s just not going to cut it. (“Nissan Craters.” May 15th)
The companies stocked with True Believers, the ones unafraid to dream, the ones focused on delivering the best in all aspects of this business - Design, Engineering, Product Development, Marketing - will succeed. It not only requires savvy management, it requires a complete cessation of the normal bureaucratic cesspool that paralyzes these companies, which means loosening the reins of the True Believers so that they can do what they're capable of doing. When it comes to The Future of this business, I will bet on the companies who value their True Believers, because those companies who refuse to do so will be ringing their death knells. (“Here’s To The Ones Who Dream.” May 1st)
That these established and assorted fringe manufacturers are lining up to create these hypercars cars is ludicrous, but if they can fleece enough customers to make it worth their while, well, I guess you can’t blame them. But the hype surrounding these vehicles has become so tedious that it’s getting painful. They don’t call them hypercars for nothing, apparently. The aforementioned discussion is just the beginning of the chaos in this business right now, unfortunately. We have the ongoing trucks/SUVs/crossovers vs. “traditional” sedans hand-wringing; then there’s the looming economic slowdown that’s already starting to get its hands around the industry’s collective necks; the price of fuel is going up and no one is really sure what that will do to this nation’s obsession with “big” vehicles (but needless to say it can’t be good); and then there’s the $500-billion question concerning the marketing of Battery Electric Vehicles, as in, can you convince enough consumers to buy in to the all-electric conceit? Let me rephrase that, because the bet better work or there’s going to be a lot of blood on the tracks. Seals and Croft once sang, We Will Never Pass This Way Again, and as it applies to the car business at this point in time, truer words were never spoken. It really is the confluence of everything, all at once. (”The Confluence Of Everything.” April 17th)
It really comes down to this: if the average consumer can’t find transportation that’s desirable, safe and affordable, where does that leave our transportation future? It’s fine to paint a rosy picture of shiny happy electrics and seamless autonomous vehicles careening across the landscape in a blissful stupor, but real people with real mobility needs are being priced out of the market, and it’s happening faster than auto executives even imagined it would. That’s why I bristle at most of the blue-sky future projections about where we’re going in terms of mobility. This transition is going to be a long and painful one, and the near-term needs of consumers desiring affordable transportation are being squeezed by the gross profits being generated by luxury pickup trucks and SUVs, and the insatiable desire by auto executives to keep the train going. But as automotive history has shown us, trends come and go. Styles and types of vehicles get hot and grow cold, and the resulting roller-coaster ride is always memorable (and excruciating for some). The companies that can ride the wave and be ready for what’s next, at least within reason, are the ones that will live to fight – and succeed – another day. (“Affordability: The Next Frontier.” February 12th)
And “Detroit”? It’s doubling down on giant, luxurious $75,000+ trucks and more and more SUVs, because that’s what keeps the whole enterprise in cash flow and that’s what it does best, and it is what consumers want, at least for now. And then there are the high-performance machines from GM, Ford and FCA, because when they put their minds to it, their True Believers can compete with anyone in the world. But how long can this continue? The auto companies here are preparing for a downturn. How deep and how long that downturn is remains the question of this day and every day. But the halcyon days of people overspending their bank accounts for the latest wonder truck are coming to an end, and when that happens, watch out. Which brings me to the third dimension to this lingering Motor City Haze. And that is the sinking feeling that the pall hanging over everything around here has an “End of Days” quality to it. That whatever happens from this day forward the collective “Detroit” will be swallowed up by changing market conditions and deep-pocketed competitors in a world with no interest in history, or legacy brands, or anything else for that matter. And that if the Detroit-based car companies survive, they will do so with a drastically reduced footprint, with all of the associate negatives that entails. (“The Motor City Haze.” February 6th)
Sugarcoating things has become an unfortunate pastime in everyday life, it seems. Especially around here, where the excuses are masked in tedious platitudes and “it won’t be long now” empty pronouncements. As in, “Our roads are a little rough at this time of year.” Translation? The roads around here are brutal, cratered facsimiles of roads that cost Michigan motorists millions of dollars every year in wrecked tires, wheels, suspensions and windshields. It stopped being funny two decades ago. Or, ”We’re rebuilding for the future and we’re confident that we’re on the right track.” Translation? The last time the Lions won an NFL Championship was 1957. The team has been rebuilding ever since. Nothing ever changes either. Or, “Our product cadence has lagged in certain instances a little bit but we’re back on track and right where we need to be.” Translation? We haven’t been accurate or on time with our product cadence in a decade. It’s a recurring Shit Show measured out in fits and starts that never gets better. Every time we think we’re back on track we take two steps back. Thus, it was ever so. How about this? “Our advertising has delivered what we needed it to do and we have the best consumer research numbers in our history.” Translation? We’ve been throwing ideas up against the wall for so long now that we don’t even bother trying to create impactful national advertising. We just do glorified dealer advertising in a national wrapper and call it good. Our dealers don’t seem to care one way or the other (or don’t know the difference, take your pick) and we don’t either. And we save so much money doing it this way we look like heroes internally. The Final Translation? There’s nothing good about “a little bit.” Not even. It’s a half-assed hedge that glosses over reality and guarantees mediocrity. It’s about shirking responsibility and avoiding accountability. I never thought that in my lifetime that having a point of view would be a scarce commodity, but it in the times we live in that definitely seems to be the case, which makes Autotextremist.com rarer by the hour. (“Not Even A Little Bit.” January 30th)
(Dodge images)
Rather than go back and regurgitate what was a decidedly downbeat Detroit Auto Show last January, I thought I’d mention the one vehicle worth talking about again. You may wonder, given the somber realities of the "half" of a 2019 Detroit Auto Show, was there an Autoextremist "Best in Show"? Why yes, yes, there was. And it had nothing to do with the featured displays that I discussed previously. In fact, this machine isn't even new, having been unveiled at the 2018 SEMA Show in Las Vegas. The Dodge Super Charger is a concept car that was designed to mark the 50th anniversary of the second-generation Charger, produced from 1968 to 1970. The Super Charger is a resto-mod that combines the design of the original Dodge Charger with modern Mopar high-performance parts. It is wider, with a slightly longer wheelbase than the original machine, but the key detail is that it showcases a new 7.0-liter Hemi V8 crate engine called the "Hellephant" that cranks out 1,000HP and 950 lb-ft of torque, which customers can buy from FCA in 2019. The Super Charger was created specifically to showcase this monster crate engine. It was dubbed Hellephant as a tribute to the original Mopar 426 Hemi engine, which was nicknamed “Elephant” due to its size and power. The Hellephant is also the first 1,000HP crate engine offered by an OEM automaker. 
Politically incorrect? Absolutely. Wildly inappropriate given the oncoming, touchy-feely BEV revolution? Certainly. But it's a stunning monument to Bad-Assery that shouldn't be swept aside or put in a dark corner. This just in: ICE-powered vehicles are going to be around for a long, long time to come. Kudos to the True Believers out in Auburn Hills for creating such a magnificent machine. (January 16th)
Finishing up the Autoextremist Year in Words, I have to say this: Auto executives in this business deal with what I like to call "The Seething Cauldron" in different ways. Some studiously avoid getting caught up in the negatives and go about their business using their accumulated knowledge and skill. Most of these executives qualify as the True Believers, because they steadfastly believe in the mission and deliver to the best of their ability every day. They understand implicitly that the age-old industry adage “You’re only as good as your last hit” is very much alive and well.
The other guys and girls? They’re the hand-wringing specialists and the serial hedgers and prevaricators. Part of the Legion of Recalcitrant Twerps who still find purchase somewhere in the system. Don’t hold them to it, whatever it is, because their consummate skill is to get lost in the crowd when the heat is on.
The Seething Cauldron is most intense in this business right at this very moment. Executives’ careers are on the line, with the best and the brightest bound to be rewarded, while the slippery scam artists and faux geniuses are destined to be hammered and held accountable. Come to think of it, this is really no different than at any other time in the business, except now, the heat is intensified and the consequences are magnified, with the very future of these companies on the line.
I recall that famous line from The Godfather Part II, which sums it up best: “This is the business we’ve chosen.” And there doesn’t seem to be a damn thing anyone can do about it.
On that note Wordgirl and I wish you all a happy, safe and peaceful Holiday season. We’ll see you back here on Wednesday, January 8th.
And that’s the High-Octane Truth for 2019.