JUNE 3, 2015

Editor-In-Chief's Note: Jerry Seinfeld and Julia Louis-Dreyfus in "Comedians In Cars Getting Coffee." Just perfect. -PMD

(Ford)
Ford has announced the most powerful naturally aspirated road-going engine in its history: The all-new Ford 5.2-liter flat-plane crankshaft V8 produces 526 horsepower and 429 lb.-ft. of torque and will be unique to the Shelby GT350 Mustang and Shelby GT350R Mustang set to go on sale this fall. “The Shelby GT350 program began with a clear objective – create the most balanced, nimble and exhilarating production Mustang yet,” said Jamal Hameedi, Ford Performance chief engineer. “Every change we made to this car was driven by the functional requirements of a powerful, responsive powerplant. The high-revving, naturally aspirated 5.2-liter flat-plane V8 delivers on every target we set – high horsepower, broad torque curve, aggressive throttle response and light weight.” Not only the most powerful naturally aspirated engine in Ford history, the all-new 5.2-liter V8 is the most efficient in terms of specific output. Without turbocharging or supercharging, the flat-plane crankshaft V8 produces 102 horsepower per liter of displacement. The new engine is also the highest-revving V8 in Ford history – with a redline of 8,250 rpm. Watch - and listen - to the new engine here.

(Ford)
The Shelby GT350R Mustang.

(BMW photos)
BMW has announced the all-new 2016 BMW X1 Sports Activity Vehicle. After basically phoning it with the first one, BMW has made the new X1 roomier and more efficient. The BMW X1 xDrive28i will be the exclusive model in the U.S. at launch and it will be powered by a 228HP 2.0-liter TwinTurbo 4-cylinder engine from BMW’s new family of modular engines. An 8-speed Steptronic automatic transmission is part of the package, as is BMW's xDrive intelligent all-wheel-drive system and newly developed chassis technology. The 2016 BMW X1 xDrive28i will arrive in U.S. showrooms this Fall.

Editor's Note: We've decided to kick off this week's On The Table with a reprise of some of our favorite headlines and phrases over the years. -WG

AE Headline Highlights from the First Fifteen Years. Just a few of our favorites...
"White Boy Culture" (6/1/1999)
"Write Hard, Die Free" (11/9/1999)
"In this 'Age of Entitlement' We All Get Screwed" (10/25/2000)
"The Day The Racing Died" (2/21/2001)
"Captain Zarrella, Your Space Ship is Waiting" (5/16/2001)
"One Man's Passion - A Legacy Still Vibrant Today" (6/13/2001)
"Hell Freezes Over, As Porsche Becomes Just Another Car Company" (10/2/2002)
"Memo to Chris Bangle: 'The Emperor' is Naked" (11/27/2002)
"GM's Culture of Invincibility" (2/12/2003)
"Detroit's Real Challenge? Selling the Idea of an American Car" (10/29/2003)
"How much longer can 'Detroit' extract blood from a stone?" (3/31/2004)"Benchmarking - Detroit's Ticket to Oblivion" (9/15/2004)
"Toyota's Shiny Happy People Peg the Stupid Meter" (6/15/2005)
"Turn out the lights, the party's over - Detroit is officially out of ideas" (7/13/2005)
"The Autoextremist self-help guide: How not to be a PR Weasel" (8/24/2005)
"The NASCAR Bubble - Coming to a Boardroom Near You." (8/31/2005)
"Soul Survivor or just Dust in the Wind?" (3/1/2006)
"The Players, the Schemers, the Smoke-and-Mirrors Dreamers" (8/23/2006)
"Interview with a Robot" (2/14/2007)
"After the smoke clears, it's time for America, Inc." (10/29/2008)
"Queen LaGreena and The Dunderheads." (12/10/2008)
"The 2008 Autoextremist Year in Review: 'The End of the World As We Know It' Edition. (12/17/08)
"PMD Unplugged: The 'Old Broken Down Piece of Meat' Edition." (3/11/2009)
"State of the Motor City Nation: The 'Polishing of the Pitchforks' Edition." (3/25/09)
"Going, going, gone." (5/27/09)
"They came, they saw, they bored us to death." (11/4/09)
"It’s time for a True Believer to run GM. (12/2/09)
"Campbell-Ewald is forced to walk the plank as the train wreck called GM marketing continues." (4/28/10)
"Still clueless after all these years." (6/16/10)
"Caution: You’re entering the Notgonnahappen.com Zone." (6/30/10)
"The Shit Disturber Cometh." (7/14/10)
"The Ultimate Sellout Machine: BMW commits brand suicide." (10/6/10)
"The looming train wreck at General Motors."(1/26/11)
"Brother Sergio’s Traveling Salvation Show gets derailed." (2/9/11)
"The UAW’s Solidarity Train to Nowhere." (3/23/11)
"All bunny rabbits and rainbows for Detroit? Not so fast." (5/4/11)
"The Sergio Show gets preachy and the media genuflects. What’s wrong with this picture?" (8/10/11)
"'Minimum Bob'ascends to the Delusional Thinking Hall of Fame." (10/5/11)
"How brand delusion can lead to brand dilution." (5/2/12)
"Mr. Akerson, your fifteen minutes are up." (8/15/12)
"The Penalty of (bad) Leadership." (4/15/13)
"The Democratization of Luxury, coming to a Mercedes-Benz dealer near you." (11/12/13)
"The Unctuous Prick takes his leave and screws GM one last time." (12/10/13)
"A kaleidoscope of the pretty good, the really bad and the just plain ugly. Welcome to The Land of Overpromise and Underdeliver, otherwise known as the 2014 Detroit Auto Show." (1/15/14)
"We May Never Pass This Way Again. GM at a Crossroads." (4/4/14)
"Arrogance + Delusion = the industry’s most lethal cocktail." (5/19/14)

AE Words & Phrases from the First Fifteen Years. We've become known for words & phrases over the years (for better or worse) and we thought we'd remind you of a few of them...
"The Tubes"
"The Answer to the Question that Absolutely No One is Asking"
"Shiny, happy, flatulence-powered balsa wood smiley cars"
"The Green Horde"
"Heaping, steaming bowl of Not Good"
"The Rick"
"Maximum Bob"
"Dead car company walking"
"Minimum Bob"
"The Ghosnster"
"The Jimbotron"
"Klinkian nightmare"
"The Trifecta of Not Good"
"Halle-frickin-luja"
"Starbucks Nation of Zombie Consumers"
"Finger-snap Environmentalists"
"Anti-car, anti-Detroit intelligentsia"
"Queen LaGreena"
"It's all over but the hand-wringing"
"The Product is, was, and always will be King"
"Bush League Bullshit"
"Unmitigated Bullshit"
"Racertainment"
"Chrome-plated pitchforks"
"Mo-faux"
"Go Big or Go Home"
"The more you know the more you just never know" (Dr. Bud).
"Fu-King Motors"
"Captain Queeg"
"Prosciutto-encrusted T-bone"
"Espresso-swilling minions"
"Accidental tourist of a CEO"
"Swinging dickism"
"The Soy-Based Chlorophyll-Specked Self-Driving Module"
"Keyboard-stained wretches"
"From the 'Sergeant Schultz 'I Know Nothing' File'"
"Olivier 'I'm a genius, just ask me' Francois."
And of course, "notgonnahappen.com"

Going to Extremes.

Okay, so you all know by now that I am a serious fan of BIG. Some people like small, lightweight sports cars - and they can be a blast - but given my druthers I would opt for big and luxurious every time. That said, I must say that this week's "Quick Take" - the 2015 Cadillac Escalade 4WD Premium - pushed the limits on BIG, even for me. At nearly three tons, the Escalade is truly massive (and to think we had the "small" one - the Escalade ESV is 14 inches longer!). And you are reminded of this fact every second you're behind the wheel. This is a vehicle that demands real focus and a real commitment. You really have to think about where you're going - no zipping around town in this thing - and you can't always park where you want or make it down tight side streets because it is just too damn big! As a workaround, I decided that it is much easier to accept the whole bigness concept if you are a passenger. Let someone else fret over maneuvering the world's most luxurious big rig. You just sit back and enjoy the very nicely done surroundings. I loved the front seats - they just feel "right" - I loved the center console with all of its compartments (I'm one of those people who likes to have phones and other miscellaneous things right at  arm's reach). I can't report on the third-row seating or the cargo area - I was afraid I'd get asked for my passport if I ventured back there. Okay, so maybe I'm exaggerating - but only just a bit - at the very least it has to be a different zip code. I did like the power retractable assist steps (a $1695 option), because basically without them I would have to just leap headfirst and hope I landed somewhere close to the seat. They deploy when you open the door and retract when you shift into gear - a sound akin to an airplane's landing gear being retracted, which come to think about it is almost a correct size analogy. One giant annoyance? The warning voice that came on seemingly constantly - "caution: narrow lanes" "caution: road closed" "caution: road construction" - no matter what the route. Enough already! There must be a way to turn this off - not only is it very irritating, it is also dangerous. It is alarming to the point that I can imagine it actually causing a wreck - it's that jarring. (At the very least, how about a way to turn it off just for Michigan during road construction season, so like basically forever.) The bottom line, if you're into what the Escalade is offering, you'll be really pleased. There is no mistaking it for anything else on the road. It has presence and personality to spare. And it is tasteful and elegant without being at all ostentatious. As for me, I guess while I still come down on the side of big and luxurious, I have to draw the line at gigantic. -WG

Editor-In-Chief's Note: What can be said about the Cadillac Escalade? It exists in a vacuum unto itself, and GM is smart enough to make hay while the sun shines with it. The thing is real big, as in huge, but GM Design has done a sensational job in crafting desirability into it, particularly with the imposing front end. And the interior is nicely-executed as well, with beautiful seats, leather and very attractive instrumentation. Although I like the legibility and presentation of the "CUE" graphics, the deliberate movement required in order to engage and operate the controls is still annoying. The Escalade is an incredible beast, but it requires serious concentration to drive it, however. You must be aware of your spatial relationship in lanes, you have to think about where you're going to park it, and it requires more than a little effort to operate it properly, even though GM engineers have achieved a miracle in concealing its mass. Not that the people who own them bother with any of that, especially judging by the suburban moms careening around town with them. And even though I would never think of driving one - how does 12.7 mpg in real world urban driving sound? - I'm glad it has found its niche in the driving world. -PMD

2015 Cadillac Escalade 4WD Premium: $87,360 ($84,070 Base Price; Dark Granite Metallic; Jet Black Interior; 6.2L V8 with variable-valve timing, Active Fuel Management and direct injection, 420HP and 460lbs-ft of torque; 8-speed automatic transmission; four-wheel drive; Stabilitrak stability control with traction; Magnetic Ride Control suspension; electric power steering; four-wheel disc brakes with Duralife rotors; 8100-lb towing capacity; 12-way power adjustable front bucket seats with leather seating surfaces; heated and cooled driver and front passenger seats; new fold-flat second- and third-row seats with power-folding feature; rear seat entertainment system; tri-zone climate control; leather-wrapped, heated steering wheel; 16-speaker Bose cabin surround sound system; exclusive 12.3-inch high-resolution driver information center display; Cadillac User Experience (CUE) with 8-inch color touchscreen and new Text-to-Voice feature or Siri Eyes Free; power tilt-sliding sunroof; theft-deterrent package; side blind zone alert; rear cross trafic alert; driver awareness package; driver assist package; Power Retractable Assist Steps, $1695; 22" Dual 77-spoke Ultra-Bright Finish Aluminum Wheels, $600; Destination Charge, $995)

Adherence to Brand Image: As Peter said, the Escalade really does exist in it's own little  - no, make that BIG - world. And it is definitely iconic. While it certainly exudes the passion of Cadillac's renaissance in design and craftsmanship, I think it remains a bit outside of the brand just by virtue of its size and uniqueness. It is an extreme vehicle, and it certainly captures the extremes in terms of buyers - from celebrities to suburban moms - but I don't think Cadillac much cares. As long as there's a market for big and luxurious, the extreme Escalade will do just fine. -WG