ON THE TABLE

January 19, 2011

 Ferrari. Editor-in-Chief's Note: From the "Hell Freezes Over" File comes word that Ferrari has finally and officially lost it. The Italian car company with the impeccable heritage that's so famously and heroically intertwined with one of the greatest historical legacies in this business has succumbed to the siren song of profit over integrity. The result? The disaster you see below. The new Ferrari FF (for Ferrari Four: four seats and four-wheel-drive) - which the company refers to it as being the most powerful and versatile four-seater ever - will replace the 612 Scaglietti in their lineup. Ferrari also insists it will be the most usable Ferrari and that it will be a formidable competitor for GT machines from Aston Martin, Audi, Bentley, BMW, Mercedes, Porsche, etc. Huh? "Versatile?" "Usable?" Are you kidding me? As if those words have any business being associated with the Ferrari name, mission and purpose. Using its much-lauded Formula 1 team as its beacon of technological might, Ferrari has stayed on message for a solid ten years now delivering one breathtaking street machine after another and it appeared that this company would never dumb-down its mission for anyone, adhering to it unfailingly and religiously. If you wanted a Ferrari, and were privileged enough to own one, then you became part of that single-minded mission to build the fastest, sexiest cars on the planet. Now? With this atrocity called the Ferrari FF, Ferrari has signaled that it wants to become more "approachable" and more "versatile" - two words that should never be associated with Ferrari under any circumstances or scenario. I don't care how fast the FF is - and no doubt it will be plenty fast with its 660HP V12 - mark my words, this car is the first crack in Ferrari's heretofore impenetrable focus and overriding mission. Next up? I don't doubt for a minute that Ferrari will build a four-door, four seater with generous amounts of "versatility" and "usable" cargo space. And the stop after that? Ferrari becomes just another car company in the swirling maelstrom of car companies jockeying for attention in the luxury-performance market. I have two more words for Ferrari to contemplate: Disgusting. And pathetic. - PMD

(Ferrari)

   Chrysler. Editor-in-Chief’s Note: Chrysler unveiled image work (recycled from earlier creative explorations) for the brand on the Golden Globe telecast last Sunday night. Showcasing glamorous Chryslers from the past - from the 40s and 50s in particular - the work tries to link the style from Chrysler’s Glory Days with the contemporary Chryslers of today. Doesn’t work. When you see the new Chrysler 300 flanked by the Town and Country minivan and the newly-named but tedious 200 at the end of the spot, it doesn’t conjure up thoughts of, “Wow, Chrysler’s really got it goin’ on,” instead it brings to mind the thought of, “Wow, what the hell happened to them? They used to have some pretty cool cars…” I’ve seen this “let’s harken back to our glorious past to remind people where we’ve been and where we’re going” movie before and it usually doesn’t end well. It’s a particular affliction of car companies and their ad agencies who are scrambling for a spark to help get some image momentum in the market, and it rarely - if ever - works. Why? For many car companies their historical legacy and their vehicles from previous eras register as being much richer than their contemporary offerings of today. Which applies neatly to Chrysler’s case. The Bottom Line? Nice footage of old, compelling Chryslers does nothing to shore-up or impart prestige to contemporary Chrysler offerings. It just underscores the fact that the new stuff is tedious, predictable and boring. A huge miss for Chrysler’s “I’m a genius, just ask me” Francois Olivier. - PMD

Bob King, The UAW. He tells the union's legislative conference in his opening speech that the very future of the UAW likely depends on whether it can organize factories in the U. S. run by import automakers. "If we don't organize the transnationals, I don't think there is a long-term future for the UAW," he said, basically admitting that if the UAW can't recruit new members, they're toast. All together now: Boo Frickin' Hoo and, would you miss it? Here's an idea, Bob. Why don't you pull the plug now and save us all the long, drawn-out aggravation?

Tesla. According to a press release the Tesla Roadster "will drive the message of environmental responsibility at Berlin Fashion Week’s 'Green Avantgarde,' which showcases some of the world’s most exciting and environmentally friendly designers." Really? Please go to our other website, wedon'tgiveashit.com.

(Ford)
The Ford Vertrek concept gives us a hint of the direction the company will take as it works to re-imagine both the next generation Ford Escape and Ford Kuga compact sport utility vehicles. The Vertrek concept offers  more versatility, luggage space and interior roominess, plus as Ford promises, "a level of craftsmanship and quality that customers around the world now demand."

(GM)
Chevrolet unveiled the all-new 2012 Sonic at the Detroit Auto Show. The newly revamped take on GM's Global small car (formerly known as the Aveo), the Sonic is billed by Chevrolet to be a "youthful, aggressive design backed by turbocharged performance and agile ride and handling, combining to deliver an efficient, fun-to-drive small car." The Sonic comes in a four-door sedan or a five-door hatch. The best part about the Sonic is the availability of the Ecotec 1.4L turbo engine rated at an estimated 138 horsepower (103 kW). It’s the same engine used in the Chevrolet Cruze in a smaller, lighter package. The Sonic shown above is the "Z Spec" Concept, telegraphing that Chevrolet will have a bunch of performance upgrades available for the car eventually.

(GM)
This is the 2012 Buick Verano compact luxury sedan, which will be revealed at the Detroit Auto Show next week. The Verano has the now obligatory array of contemporary luxury and technology features, including 10 standard air bags, an available heated steering wheel plus a next-generation radio system with OnStar-powered connectivity that enables seamless communication between the Verano and the driver’s smart phone. The Verano is powered by an Ecotec 2.4L (with 6-speed automatic, standard) delivering an estimated 177 horsepower (132 kW) and 170 lb.-ft. torque (230 Nm), a 0-60 mph time of 8.0 seconds and an estimated 31 mpg on the highway. A 2.0L turbo engine will be offered in the future. Verano goes on sale in the fourth quarter of 2011. "Verano expands our lineup, continues Buick’s momentum and gives us a great opportunity to attract a new generation of customers with a product that delivers on their expectations for design, performance and technology,” said John Schwegman, vice president of Buick marketing. “It is a smart choice that delivers unexpected luxury in a compact sedan – and it will compete head-to-head with competitors from Audi and Lexus.” Really? We'll see about that.

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