Issue 1265
September 18, 2024
 

About The Autoextremist

@PeterMDeLorenzo

Author, commentator, "The Consigliere."

Editor-in-Chief of Autoextremist.com.

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On The Table


Sunday
Apr162023

APRIL 19, 2023

(Honda)
The all-new 2023 Honda Civic Type R - the most powerful Honda production vehicle ever sold in the U.S. - has set a new track record for a front-wheel drive car around the iconic 20.8-kilometer Nürburgring Nordschleife in Germany during testing and performance evaluation. The officially measured new lap record time for the Civic Type R is 7 minutes 44.881 seconds. For the record-setting lap the Civic Type R was fitted with Michelin Pilot Sport Cup 2 Connect tires jointly developed with Michelin using know-how amassed through the development of the Michelin Pilot Sport 4 S, which is the standard tire on the turbocharged hot hatch. The Michelin Pilot Sport Cup 2 Connect tires will be available through Honda dealers to further enhance the circuit performance of the vehicle, improving dry grip and handling. Watch the full lap here

(Mercedes-Benz images)
It's not too early for special versions of the Mercedes-Benz EQS EV models, apparently.
 The new EQS MANUFAKTUR Signature Editions will consist of four "specially curated" EQS 580 4MATIC Sedan and AMG EQS Sedan models. What do you get? The "highest level of equipment and feature numerous exquisite details to appeal to the most discerning customer tastes," according to Mercedes PR minions. Only a limited number of units will be produced (no shit - WG), arriving in U.S. dealerships in spring 2023. Among the standout features of the EQS MANUFAKTUR Signature Edition: The seats are draped in hand-stitched MANUFAKTUR Signature Exclusive Nappa Leather, as well as the two-tone steering wheel, center console armrest, lower dashboard, and center door panels and armrests. More? The seats have comfort headrest pillows in Microfiber with the embroidered Mercedes-Benz Star or AMG logo. High-pile floor mats throughout the interior are also embroidered with the Mercedes-Benz Star or AMG logo and feature a contrast Nappa Leather border. Another unique interior detail is the "Manufaktur" script in high-gloss chrome on the center console trim. On EQS 580 4MATIC models, an exclusive Rose Gold and High-Gloss Black key adds a further touch of elegance and exclusivity. The EQS MANUFAKTUR Signature Editions also include a custom paint process for Metallic, Non-Metallic and Magno finishes. Each of the four configurations features a unique combination of colors and finishes: 

EQS 580 4MATIC Sedan MANUFAKTUR Signature Edition Configurations

  • Silicon Grey Non-Metallic with Mystic Red Exclusive Nappa Leather
  • Rubellite Red Metallic with Deep White Exclusive Nappa Leather

AMG EQS Sedan MANUFAKTUR Signature Edition Configurations

  • Night Black Magno with Deep White Exclusive Nappa Leather
  • Kalahari Gold Magno with Deep White Exclusive Nappa Leather

The 2023 EQS MANUFAKTUR Signature Edition models will arrive in U.S. dealerships in spring 2023. Editor-in Chief's Note: We can wait. -PMD


(Porsche Images)
Porsche has thoroughly refined the 2024 Cayenne. The heavily revised SUV debuts with a highly digitalized display and control interior concept, new chassis technology and innovative high-tech features. “It’s one of the most extensive product upgrades in the history of Porsche,” says Michael Schätzle, Vice-President Product Line Cayenne. High-definition HD Matrix Design LED headlights illuminate the road with a clear visual signature, an air quality system filters pollutants from the cabin, and for the first time in the Cayenne, an optional display for the front passenger can be ordered to stream videos during a trip – a feature taken from the Taycan. 

Porsche has integrated a completely revised display and control concept into the interior of the new Cayenne. The new Porsche Driver Experience, first introduced in the Porsche Taycan, focuses on the driver and optimizes operation. Functions that the driver uses frequently are located directly on or immediately next to the steering wheel. The stalk located on the left behind the steering wheel now has additional functions for operating the driver assistance systems. The gear selector is now on the dashboard. The redesigned cockpit of the Cayenne includes a digital 12.6-inch instrument cluster with a curved and freestanding design and variable display options. An optimized head-up display is available as an option. The standard 12.3-inch central Porsche Communication Management (PCM) display integrates harmoniously into the new dashboard and provides access to all the relevant vehicle functions. Native apps such as Spotify® and Apple Music® are provided to optimize connectivity in the new Cayenne. A 10.9-inch display is now available for the first time for the passenger side. This displays performance data, providing separate access to the infotainment system controls and the option of streaming video content on the road. A special layer on the screen ensures that the driver cannot see this display.

The new Cayenne features a new front end combined with more athletically styled fenders, a new hood and redesigned headlights. Three-dimensional designed taillights, with uncluttered surfaces beneath and a new rear fascia with integrated license plate holder characterize the rear end design of the new Cayenne. An expanded palette offers three new colors: Algarve Blue Metallic, Montego Blue Metallic, and Arctic Grey. The optional Lightweight Sport Package saves up to 72 lbs. of weight for the Cayenne Coupé, and a new extensive range of 20, 21, and 22-inch wheels add to the high degree of customization available for the new Cayenne.

The new Cayenne debuts with three different engines. An extensively refined twin-turbo four-liter V8 developed by Porsche replaces the previous V6 engine in the new Cayenne S. With a maximum output of 468HP and 442 lb.-ft. of torque, that's 34HP and 37 lb.-ft. more than its six-cylinder predecessor. It accelerates both the SUV and the SUV Coupé to 60 mph in up to 4.4 seconds in combination with the Sport Chrono Package. The top track speed is 169 mph. The standard Cayenne comes with an optimized three-liter V6 single-turbo engine. It now generates 348HP and 368 lb.-ft., 13HP and 36 lb.-ft. more than before. This six-cylinder engine also forms the basis for the powertrain of the Cayenne E-Hybrid. In combination with a new electric motor that now makes 174HP, the combined output increases to 463HP. A new high-voltage battery features increased capacity from 17.9 kWh to 25.9 kWh. EPA range estimates will be available shortly before launch. A new 11 kW on-board AC charger now shortens the charging time at an appropriate power source to less than two and a half hours despite the increased battery capacity. Optimized e-hybrid driving modes are focused on further improving the efficiency of the vehicle. The Turbo GT remains the top Cayenne model for the U.S. market. It is designed for maximum on-road performance with standard features such as Porsche Dynamic Chassis Control (PDCC), Porsche Ceramic Composite Brake (PCCB), rear-axle steering, Sport Exhaust system with titanium tailpipes and 22-inch GT Design wheels fitted with ultra-high-performance tires. It is available exclusively as a Coupé, and the output of the twin-turbo four-liter V8 engine of the Turbo GT has been increased by 19HP to 650HP. The Cayenne Turbo GT accelerates from zero to 60 mph in 3.1 seconds, with a top track speed of 189 mph.

The standard equipment of the 2024 Cayenne models has been significantly expanded to include Matrix Design LED headlights, Porsche Active Suspension Management, 20-inch wheels (22-inch wheels for Cayenne Turbo GT), Lane Change Assist, Lane Keep Assist, Comfort Access keyless entry and a smartphone tray with inductive charging at up to 15 watts. The new Cayenne starts at $79,200 (Coupé from $84,300), the Cayenne E-Hybrid starts at $91,700 (Coupé from $95,700) and the Cayenne S starts at $95,700 (Coupé from $102,100). The Cayenne Turbo GT has a Holy Shit! MSRP of $196,300. All pricing excludes the $1,650 delivery, processing and handling fee. The 2024 models are available to order now, with U.S. dealer arrival expected starting in the Summer of 2023.

(Mercedes-Maybach)
The Mercedes-Maybach EQS 680 SUV is the brand's first all-electric series model. Based on the technology of the EQS SUV from Mercedes-EQ, "it combines technical perfection with Maybach exclusivity," according to Mercedes-Maybach PR minions – in line with Wilhelm Maybach's principle: "What is good must also be beautiful." Editor-in-Chief's Note: We stopped reading after that Wilhelm Maybach quote. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and all that, but how about NO? -PMD

(Buick images)
Buick has unveiled the 2024 Envista, offering "the cargo space and utility of an SUV, packaged inside sporty and sleek proportions typically found in a sedan," according to Buick PR minions. Buick says that the Envista "will be one of the most affordable SUVs in the segment, yet it will still come standard with high-quality materials, design and technologies." The Envista will come in three distinct trims: Preferred, Sport Touring (ST) and Avenir. “The Envista represents a pure expression of Buick design,” said Sharon Gauci, executive director, Global Buick-GMC Design. “This is not your average small SUV. With its unique proportions, modern stance and sleek form, the Envista takes Buick’s sculptural beauty to the next level.” (Alrighty then! -WG) The 2024 Envista will come standard with the Buick Driver Confidence package, including six active safety and driver assistance technologies such as Automatic Emergency Braking, Lane Keep Assist with Lane Departure Warning, IntelliBeam auto high-beams and more. A high-definition Rear Vision Camera is also standard. The Envista will be powered by a high-performance 1.2L Turbo engine with a six-speed automatic transmission. It is estimated to deliver 136HP with 162 lb-ft of torque. A Watts Link suspension system is standard on the Avenir trim and available on ST, providing drivers with a level of sure-footedness and a more quiet and isolated ride experience. (Why isn't this standard on all of them? WTF? -PMD) The Envista is expected to offer a GM-estimated 30 mpg (combined). Production on the 2024 Envista is expected to start next month and be available for customers this summer. The Envista Preferred trim starts at $23,495; with Sport Touring starting at $25,195 and Avenir starting at $29,695.


(BMW)
Editor-in-Chief's Note: This is the new 2024 BMW i7 M70 xDrive (catchy name, that). With two electric motors generating a maximum system output of 650HP 
and up to 811 lb-ft of torque, BMW says it goes 0-60 in 3.5 seconds, making it the quickest and most powerful model in BMW’s all-electric range. Preliminary estimated EPA range is up to 295 miles. How much? BMW isn't saying... yet. But know this: it not only weighs 5929 lbs., but it's further proof that BMW's "blunderbuss" school of design is rapidly falling down a rabbit hole of unmitigated ugliness that they'll likely never recover from. I started to ask the question "why?" out loud, but there's really no point. These people are clueless, and the Progenitors of Suck. -PMD

(BMW images)
BMW M GmbH is calling this "an even more powerful, more exclusive version of its first-ever electrified high-performance vehicle." The 2024 BMW XM Label Red features an M HYBRID drivetrain "with additional power and unique design accents that clearly announce its exceptional performance capabilities." Maximum system output is 738HP (a 94-hp increase over the standard BMW XM) with 738 lb-ft. of torque, so the BMW XM Label Red is "the most powerful BMW M road vehicle ever made." The BMW XM Label Red makes its world debut at the Auto Shanghai international motor show in April 2023. Production will begin in August 2023 at BMW Group Plant Spartanburg in South Carolina. Key details - like the price - have been left out. And the weight wasn't released either, but something tells us that this "thing" approaches 6,000 lbs, if not more. Editor-in-Chief's Note: Why does it even exist? Well, that's another thing altogether. This is what unmitigated greed looks like while BMW is in pursuit of every niche - both real and imagined - that it can get its hands on. The image erosion of this once-great brand has been prodigious and stupefying. It is flat-out depressing. And really stupid. -PMD


(Honda images)
Honda calls its Trail125 (above) "approachable, fun and versatile..." It will be available for $3,999 in April. Purchase considerations for around-town transportation "don’t get much more practical than affordability and reliability," according to Honda PR minions, "both of which Honda’s Metropolitan (below) offers in spades." It will be available in May for $2,649. 

 

The AE Song of the Week:

Sister Christian 
Oh the time has come
And you know that you're the only one
To say okay
Where you going
What you looking for 
You know those boys 
Don't want to play no more with you 
It's true

You're motoring 
What's your price for flight
In finding mister right
You'll be alright tonight

Babe, you know
You're growing up so fast 
And mama's worrying 
That you won't last
To say let's play 
Sister Christian
There's so much in life 
Don't you give it up
Before your time is due
It's true
It's true yeah

Motoring
What's your price for flight
You've got him in your sight
And driving through the night

Motoring 
What's your price for flight 
In finding mister right
You'll be alright tonight

Motoring 
What's your price for flight
In finding mister right 
You'll be alright tonight

Motoring 
What's your price for flight
In finding mister right 
You'll be alright tonight

Sister Christian
Oh the time has come
And you know that you're the only one
To say okay
But you're motoring 
Yeah motoring


"Sister Christian" by Night Ranger, from the album "Midnight Madness" (1983).* Written by Kelly Keagy. Publisher: CONCORD MUSIC PUBLISHING LLC; Lyrics licensed and provided by LyricFind. Watch the Original Music Video here

*Night Ranger's drummer, Kelly Keagy, wrote this song about his sister Kristy (this is the correct spelling, he tells us), who was 10 years younger than him and was growing up fast. "It's the big brother looking after his little sister when she's growing up – a simple, almost naïve kind of lyric," he said in a Songfacts interview. "I wanted her to be able to see what I was talking about, that I was protecting her." The vocalist on most Night Ranger songs is Jack Blades, but Keagy sang lead on this one, singing from his drum kit at shows. The original title was "Sister Kristy," but the rest of the band thought Keagy was singing "Sister Christian," so that became the title. This ballad isn't typical of Night Ranger's sound - they're more guitar rock exemplified by the singles from their first album, Dawn Patrol: "Don't Tell Me You Love Me" and "Sing Me Away." When they released their second album, Midnight Madness, the uptempo "(You Can Still) Rock in America" was the lead single, then the band's record company surprised them by putting out "Sister Christian." They didn't think a ballad could be a hit for them, but it sure was, crossing them over to a pop audience. "We did it but we were hesitant about it because we did all the writing in our career and they wanted us to put out this song that didn't even sound like us," Keagy told Songfacts. "What you do when your career is on the line, you compromise and go with it. But I'm glad we did, because that song is still out there getting played. It's been a blessing for the band." The song got a big boost from MTV, which played the video constantly. The network went on the air in 1981, and in its first few years didn't have many well-produced videos to choose from. They favored American rock acts, which worked out well for Night Ranger; MTV played their 1982 and 1983 videos for songs like "Don't Tell Me You Love Me" and "Sing Me Away." The "Sister Christian" proved very popular in part because it's set in high school, making it relatable to the average MTV viewer. It stars the actress/model Macha Bennet-Shephard, who was 19 at the time, and was shot at San Rafael High School in California with many real students as extras. The video was directed by Mary Guido, who also did Quiet Riot's "Cum On Feel The Noize." Macha Bennet-Shephard also appeared in the next Night Ranger video, which was for "When You Close Your Eyes." "Sister Christian" was famously used in the 1997 movie Boogie Nights in a memorable scene where three characters enter a fancy house to make a drug deal, and the song is playing. The drug dealer who owns the place, dressed in a bathrobe, is about to check out the cocaine but stops as the song builds to its chorus. He plays some air drums and sings along - Motorin' - before saying, "I love that song" and continuing the deal. This friendly, unhinged drug dealer archetype is familiar to many, including Kelly Keagy, who recalled watching the scene in his Songfacts interview: "I went to the movies and saw it firsthand... and I started sweating! Not because I didn't like it, but because I thought I'd been in that position in Hollywood at one point, at some drug dealer's house! Not selling of course, but just sitting there with some nutty guy looking at us like [assumes a deranged voice], 'How ya doing? What do ya want?' And I'm like, 'Get me out of here!' Meanwhile, all that chaos in the background. It was like, 'Holy crap, man. This is too close!'" (Knowledge courtesy of Songfacts.com)

 

 


Editor's Note: You can access previous issues of AE by clicking on "Next 1 Entries" below. - WG