The Autoextremist Brand Image Meter II.

By Peter M. De Lorenzo

Detroit. As I said when we first introduced our Brand Image Meter one year ago, when it comes to the power of brands and the inescapable importance of brand image, “It’s the one thing that car companies – both good and bad – cannot escape. How a brand is perceived can make or break a car company, regardless of how long and illustrious a run that brand has enjoyed up until any given point in time, because one false move or one discordant note can be crippling in a matter of months.”

Even though much has gone on in this business since I wrote those words, the reality of that statement rings truer than ever. Brand image is so integral to the success of an automaker that after building a great product (of course), image wrangling has become the No. 1 priority in this business.

And it’s why the much-maligned Chief Marketing Officer position has become so crucial for these companies. If an automaker gets the right person at the helm while giving him or her the support and resources necessary to execute to a savvy, well-reasoned marketing plan, good things usually result. (I say ”usually” because there are no guarantees in this crazy business.)

But undermine the CMO function by allowing a CEO to play meddling marketing guru from afar, or having an entrenched marketing bureaucracy throw up roadblocks at every turn, or making the wrong hires for those positions to begin with, and brand chaos can ensue.

Winning car companies understand this implicitly, even though they’re not immune from mistakes by any means. And less-than-winning car companies, or car companies only intermittently able to be on their games for whatever the reasons (infighting, lack of talent, abject stupidity, or all of the above), pay for their mistakes exponentially, compounding their troubles with each misstep.

These are the worst offenders in fact, because these are the car company executives who actually start to think that they’re selling something they’re not, which leads them to deluding themselves into thinking that their products are something other than what they are.

In other words, an incurable case of brand delusion.

When the people running the company don’t know how and why the brand earned its chops to begin with and are confused as to what their brand stands for now, how can they possibly guide it properly? The short answer? They can’t. And even worse, they allow the wrong products to creep into their portfolios, which ultimately will lead to a corrosive level of brand dilution.

Sound difficult? It is. Very, very difficult. And the difference between getting things right and getting them horribly wrong when it comes to brand image wrangling is the finest of lines.

But then again people are paid very well to do these jobs, so it’s okay to expect them to know what they’re doing, even when they clearly don’t.

So who is on their game right now when it comes to this business of brand image wrangling? And who doesn’t even have a glimpse of a clue?

Without further ado then, let’s find out. It’s time for the Autoextremist Brand Image Meter II. This update has rankings that, similar to last year, are: Hot. Cold. Neutral. And Pathetic. With some new wrinkles thrown in for good measure.

Alfa Romeo: The new Alfa Romeo 4C is the car that CEO Sergio Marchionne will use to 1. Prove that he will have – as promised - an Alfa Romeo back in this market by 2013 (even if he has to personally roll one off a ship at 11:59 p.m. next New Year’s Eve to qualify), and 2. Demonstrate that Alfa Romeo can project Fiat-Chrysler’s luxury brand savvy around the world, in volume. Well, let’s review, shall we? Marchionne is also the same guy who said that Alfa Romeo would be back strong in the U.S. market in 2012. He even went so far as to say that Alfa Romeo would sell upwards of 75,000 units here annually beginning in 2014. We know that none of that has panned out. What’s different now, the 4C? Nice, zippy little machine, yes, but at around $75-$85,000 it will be nothing but a low-volume niche for Sergio & Co. As it should be. As I said a year ago, the idea of Alfa Romeo existing as a global volume player is a figment of Sergio’s considerable imagination for the most part. So we have two Alfa brand images at work here. Historically? A smokin’ hot brand image with a large measure of overt sexuality thrown in for good measure. Today? A once-great marque reduced to a sentence of underpinning Sergio’s incomprehensibly aggressive plan to dominate the automotive world. Somewhere in there the inherent goodness and likability of the Alfa Romeo brand lives. But the reality of today’s AE Brand Image Meter suggests that Alfa is the automotive equivalent of a shackled mushroom, kept in the dark and fed just enough to play a largely supportive, badge-engineering role in Sergio’s Empire. The AE Brand Image Meter rankings? For the proper, romantic notions of the once great Alfa Romeo? Hot, heroic even. As Sergio’s delusional volume play? Pathetic.

Acura: I would love to report that the “new” Acura is going to hit the cover off of the ball, what with the promising new NSX super sports car just two years away, but I can’t. Acura executives keep flailing away at content, shouting from the rooftops that Acura has the technology everyone else has and that the brand deserves a closer look, but the whole exercise is a non-starter. Why? Because other than the NSX, which for now is a star on the auto show circuit and nothing more until proven otherwise, Acura design is pitiful. No, let me clarify that. It is absolutely dismal. As for the certain scribes waxing eloquently about how the new MDX looks good and is a sign of life at Acura? Please. Acura design is an oxymoron. These cars blend into the woodwork like a gray flannel suit on an overcast day. This is supposed to be the best of Honda? It sure doesn’t look or feel like it. Instead, Acura still exists as a perennial symbol of the confusion that reigns at Honda. What are they doing? I’m not sure they know. The AE Brand Image Meter ranking? Brand blandtastic. With a bullet.

Aston Martin: I gave up thinking Aston Martin would lead the industry in something, and when I did I could see the brand clearly. Why bother pretending Aston is something it’s not nor will ever be? Aston doesn’t have to play that game. All it has to do is keep doing variations on its time-honored theme of hot-looking luxury GT cars that are true to their brand image. (Well, except for the unfortunate Cygnet, which should be buried at sea and forgotten about.) As long as the stewards of Aston forget about being anything but a niche player they’ll be just fine, because there will always be someone who just can’t wait to answer when asked at a cocktail party, “I drive an Aston Martin.” Maybe not red-hot given the burgeoning ultra-luxury competition, but still an extremely warm brand to the touch on the AE Brand Image Meter.

Audi: As I commented last year, Audi represents advanced technology wrapped in shimmering bodywork with interior accoutrements second to none, all due to a relentless product focus and consistency that is stretching well into its second decade now. But now I’m beginning to wonder if that legendary Audi product focus is really intact. Audi seems to be slipping, falling victim to that unmistakable BMW-like haze of trying to be all things to all people. Audi’s impeccable image was the quintessential definition of brand hotness on the AE Brand Image Meter. Now it’s still very warm to the touch, but it has definitely cooled a bit.

Bentley: At its low point reduced to being a moribund “little brother” to Rolls-Royce, then reinvigorated with a swift kick from Dr. Piech in a near automotive miracle, Bentley glowed hot for awhile, got greedy, over-saturated itself in the market, then turned lukewarm. Bentley is insisting that it’s well on its way to being brand hotness personified again with new product and new fire, but who’s kidding whom? There’s too much competition in the ultra-luxury segment to just phone it in now. The AE Brand Image Meter? Hot, as long as it doesn’t try to be something it’s not.

BMW: Ah, what a journey it has been for the Bavarian company, from purveyors of the original sport sedan – the vaunted 2002 – to the ubiquitous luxury brand that it is today, BMW certainly has its act down cold. But that’s just it: BMW’s coldly calculated act has grown stale. Why? Most everything that made BMW a BMW has been lost in translation. The light, nimble, toss-able sedans that launched the company have given way to bloated sedans, SUVs and crossovers that have about as much in common with the original idea as today’s O.J. Simpson has with the legendary USC football star. Will BMW still sell prodigious amounts of BMWs? Of course they will. But people are buying BMWs because they think they should be driving them, instead of lusting after the vehicles because they can deliver a driving experience like no other. There’s a big difference. And the sad thing is that BMW operatives are perfectly content with the notion of churning out BMWs for every niche, both real and imagined, on their quest to getting one in every garage in America. Will BMW’s new “i” electric brand make any difference? We’ll see. The AE Brand Image Meter ranking? A lukewarm Venti cup of blonde roast, with a topper of steamed soy vacuous.

Buick: Before you consider Buick you have to remind yourselves that the brand exists only because of the Chinese market, and that explains a lot. As I’ve said many times before, these manufacturers who cater to the Chinese market are forgetting one thing: What’s hot in China shouldn’t necessarily be crammed down the throats of buyers in this market. Please. Ed Welburn has his GM Design troops focused on making the Buick brand one of beautiful design statements that people will desire. All well and good but what does that really mean? The Enclave was nicely rendered upon its introduction but the recent freshening already looks like yesterday’s news. The LaCrosse has worn surprisingly well but it looks a little tired too. The Verano is Buick’s new golden child, and if I were calling the shots I would be polishing it to a glittering perfection and use it as a springboard for an entire range of vehicles (in other words, the Encore should have been a Verano SAV). Buick remains lost in the brand wilderness trying to convince young consumers that it’s worthy of consideration, but it still suffers from a lack of passion and a blurry, disjointed focus (see the Regal). Buick is icy cool, but not in a good way when it comes to the AE Brand Image Meter. Buick still needs a defining moment, an automotive design milestone that will crystallize the brand for the next generation and make the industry sit up and take notice. The Riviera concept that was shown in Shanghai was the right idea but a disappointment. GM has big plans for Buick, but it remains in automotive limbo, which, according to the AE Brand Image Meter, can be a cold, disheartening place. Memorable products that bristle with passion will be the only way out for Buick.

Cadillac: The Cadillac comeback story is now becoming a tired one, which is a good thing for GM. Remember, Cadillac was on a Vogue whitewall train to nowhere – next stop brand oblivion – when savvy divisional operatives led by John Smith decided to reinvent America’s luxury standard in 2000, because there was simply nowhere else to go. What has transpired since should be a lesson for every aspiring automotive brand out there. GM has spent billions with a “B” on Cadillac in order to transform it into a brand capable of going toe-to-toe against the European luxury-performance juggernaut. And it has been successful to a large extent in terms of delivering some absolutely stunning machines, with the CTS-V Coupe being example No. 1. But after all of that is Cadillac accepted beyond its well of domestic-oriented consumers as being worthy of import intender consideration? Not really, no. Certainly not enough to matter anyway. But is that what Cadillac should be worried about? I get the “let’s go after the German luxury-performance automakers with a vengeance” positioning, and its V-series work has indeed been impressive, but it’s now time for Cadillac to be Cadillac. Let me say that with a different spin, it’s okay for Cadillac to be Cadillac again. Cadillac has permission to go its own way now. Cadillac operatives should forget about going toe-to-toe with Audi, BMW, Mercedes-Benz, et al, and go somewhere else. Do the True Believers working on Cadillac believe they’re making desirable machines? Damn straight they do. And it’s up to Cadillac marketers to translate that into consumer desirability. So, memo to the Cadillac faithful within GM: Believe in what you’re doing. It’s excellent work and with a brace of new vehicles here and on the way (ATS, XTS, CTS, Escalade), Cadillac can exist just fine in this new automotive universe.  Half of this image wrangling business hinges on knowing what you’re not as much as it is knowing what you want to be. In terms of the AE Brand Image Meter right now, Cadillac is lukewarm depending on which model you’re looking at, with isolated incidents of hotness. I expect Cadillac to deliver more on the hotter side of the equation in the coming years.

Chevrolet: GM’s mainstream powerhouse brand keeps churning out interesting cars that consumers are starting to notice. Unlike certain aforementioned German automakers that have no business being in everyone’s garage, that is Chevrolet’s business in this market. But being something for everyone and having something for everyone can’t be predictable, or boring, and Mark Reuss has his troops understanding that (witness the hastened redo of the Malibu, not nearly enough by the way, but at least they acted). But it remains to be seen whether or not Chevrolet’s new marketing campaign, “Find New Roads” will resonate with anyone beyond the Chevy marketers assigned to the task. As much as I like some of Chevrolet’s new products, the biggest news this year – yes, maybe even bigger than the new Silverado or the new Corvette – may be the introduction of the slick-looking Impala. Haters insist that the Impala is directed at a market that doesn’t exist anymore, or isn’t worth pursuing. I disagree. A winning mainstream Impala may be the most important vehicle Chevrolet has on the docket this year. For Chevrolet to remain Chevrolet, the wide acceptance of the surprisingly good-looking Impala is critical. The big problem I see for Chevrolet? The new Impala is making the Malibu look superfluous and redundant. Though GM has spent a lot of money “fixing” the Malibu of late, I just wonder if they’d be better off maximizing what they have with the Impala rather than trying to prop up another nameplate. Chevrolet is another brand that needs to be careful of being something it is not. The global brand push for Chevrolet is commendable, but projecting a quintessential American brand around the globe is sketchy, at best. And I’m not sure anyone down at the Silver Silos gets that. GM marketers should focus on the fact that Chevrolet is one of the most iconic automotive brands in history and that they have some of the best products they’ve ever had. I want to feel moved by that. And I only sense that feeling intermittently. The official AE Brand Image Meter ranking? Warm. Ish.

Chrysler: Fiat-Chrysler’s upper American brand has struggled mightily in this market, despite a freshened 300 and Olivier “I’m a genius, just ask me” Francois banging his celebrity marketing drum incessantly. So now what? Well, now we have the do or die re-do of the upcoming 200 on the docket. Chrysler is carefully orchestrating the media into believing that the 200 will be the equivalent to the second coming, but it should be pointed out that we’ve been down this road before with Sergio & Co. with the launch of the Dodge Dart, to be specific. Nice car and some damn nice advertising – at least initially – but was it a game changer or a segment shifter? Hardly. It allowed Dodge to be present and accounted for in the compact segment, just like the 200 will allow Chrysler to be present and accounted for in the mid-size segment. Nothing more. Chrysler dealers are salivating over the new 200 and want it right now, but people need to step back and understand that Chrysler dealers will salivate over any new product that comes their way at this juncture. Sergio and his espresso-fueled minions are absolutely desperate to have Fiat-Chrysler be more than just a Jeep and Ram truck company, and the 200, in their minds, is just the car to do it. It won’t. When it comes to the AE Brand Image Meter, Chrysler is still stuck in glorified brand neutral. Somewhat feisty, but largely confined to its own little world of self-congratulation.

Corvette: Now that we’ve all recovered from the launch preview of the seventh-generation Corvette (it hits the market this fall), what has changed exactly? Not much. The Corvette is still a fantastic sports car, period. Note I didn’t say “for the money,” because that hoary notion should be buried once and for all. Look at the numbers and statistics for the Corvette and it can stand up to any high-performance sports car. Not the hyper-performance cars like the McLarens, etc., mind you, as they exist in a narrow little world all their own, but the Corvette is a tremendous performer, by any measure. Is it different from the others? Yes, as it should be. And unlike other parts of GM, the True Believers who actually design, engineer and develop the Corvette understand what it is and what it is not. They are perfectly content to let the Corvette be the Corvette, which is so refreshing it’s somewhat of a revelation. And yes, this year I’m again listing Corvette as a separate brand despite GM and Chevrolet marketing operatives’ vehement cries of “foul.” Too bad. Corvette deserves to stand alone. The AE Brand Image Meter glows hot for the Corvette, while taking into account the reality that beyond the True Believers responsible for the car within GM and its legions of fans, it is consistently written off as an American “nice try.” And that’s too bad, because if you don’t get excited when you drive one, something is seriously wrong, or maybe you need to go get yourself a Corolla. Fortunately there is still one place where the Corvette brand image glows white hot, and that’s a half a world away in Le Mans, France. Thanks to the incredible performance by Corvette Racing over the last thirteen years, Corvette is viewed as a reputable, prestigious and desirable high-performance sports car.

Dodge: The Fiat-Chrysler brain trust tried to convince us that the new Dart represented a kinder, greener and a more of-the-moment, hipper Dodge. It didn’t really work. Dodge is a truck company, oh wait a minute, we’re not supposed to say that anymore. It’s Ram. Whatever. The High-Octane Truth about Dodge is that it’s a purveyor of badass cop cars and throwback muscle cars until further notice. The AE Brand Image Meter? Hot, if that’s what you’re looking for.

Fiat: Nothing much has changed here from last year, either. The answer to Sergio’s prayers and a vital cog in his machine of world auto domination, Fiat is the little engine that wants to be, fulfilling a role that it’s not quite cut out for. As cute as the 500 is and as fun as the Abarth version of it is, Fiat is a decidedly pedestrian brand trying to pretend it’s something else in this market. Why? Because Sergio’s “vision” insists this is the way it will be. Despite the fun-to-drive Abarth – and the upcoming crossover thingy based on the 500, which we’re seeing around town – Fiat is a sub-niche of a niche desperately seeking more. Ranking? Cool. But not in a good way.

Fisker: A boy’s automotive wet dream brought to life courtesy of Other People’s Money coupled with a wing and a prayer. There was absolutely no reason in the world for this vehicle to exist other than to assuage Henrik Fisker’s considerable ego. And predictably, his rolling note to self is now kaput. The AE Brand Image Meter? Not needed.

Ferrari: Majestic, heroic, sensational and passionate machines, Ferrari is the quintessential definition of smokin’ Italian hotness. But there’s trouble bubbling up in the lasagna, because Ferrari insists that it can maintain its impeccable brand image while chasing new markets and cranking out more and more cars. Except that there’s always a point of diminishing returns, even for a reigning brand star like Ferrari. The Italian sports car manufacturer is on the verge of having too many models, too many Ferrari experience parks, too many mini-monuments to itself, and it’s just being too frickin’ greedy besides. Ferrari management insists that they understand all that and that they’re going to curtail production, so that the brand doesn’t become over saturated. Duly noted, but guess what? It already has. Still white-hot on the AE Brand Image Meter, but teetering on the edge of becoming ubiquitous, which is anathema for any high-performance luxury brand, especially one that bases its entire reputation on the notion of scarcity.

Ford: The quintessential American brand that went from being a scrappy fighter that refused to let go of its soul to a purveyor of shockingly competitive cars that impress with their design vision and detailed execution. Ford is the iconic American brand that is garnering newfound respect with each new product iteration. As long as they stop trying to shove features down consumers’ throats in their advertising and marketing and get back to promoting a more emotional connection to their vehicles, they’ll be fine. And the recalls and quality issues must stop. Brand Image Meter? Very warm to the touch.

GMC: Still the same. Slick trucks, SUVs and crossovers – especially in the Denali configurations – but generally a brand that’s lost in the wilderness as well. It used to be just the thing for Pontiac, Buick, Cadillac and Oldsmobile dealers who wanted to sell trucks but who couldn’t or wouldn’t go near Chevrolet, but beyond that, what? Professional Grade? Please (still one of the lamest ad themes out there). The moment Cadillac introduces its new Escalade (look for the unveiling at next January’s Detroit Auto Show) is the moment GMC becomes irrelevant, again. But it won’t be the first time and it won’t be the last. GM makes money off of GMC, which is why the Obama administration mercenaries charged with carving up GM during the bankruptcy wouldn’t kill it. As for the AE Brand Image Meter? Boredom to neutral.

Honda. They insist that they have their mojo back and maybe they do, especially with the news that Honda is coming back to Formula 1 in 2015. The dealers are cranking out sales and American consumers haven't lost their love for the brand despite its myriad missteps over the past decade. And its competitors are about to be reminded that a focused Honda is a very dangerous car company. Brand Image Meter? Percolating again and warm to the touch.

Hyundai: The car company with a voracious appetite for building mainstream vehicles that are just too damn good to ignore, and with the unabashed goal of building competitive luxury vehicles with all of the prestige and desirability of the world’s best, Hyundai’s ambition knows no bounds. Ten years ago Hyundai was a joke. Five years ago they were getting “attaboys.” Now? They’re a force to be reckoned with. But all is not perfect in HyundaiVille. A sense of ennui has settled in, both within Hyundai and with the American consumers who used to view Hyundai as the next Honda, but now view it only as a legitimate alternative to Chevrolet, Ford and VW. Brand Image Meter? Lukewarm to the touch.

Infiniti: With Johan de Nysschen as its global brand leader, Infiniti is undergoing a top to bottom re-think. Renaming and upgrading its vehicles and ramping-up its presence in F1, it is the brand that is desperately trying to elevate itself into Audi-BMW-Mercedes territory. But that doesn’t mask the fact that it’s just another brand in the luxury segment in search of its place in the world, with extremely aggressive near-term sales goals to boot. It will take years, not quarters, but years for Infiniti to move its image needle with the consumer public. Johan has his hands full, but since all of the growth for Infiniti will come from Asia, he has a shot. In this market? The AE Brand Image Meter stays neutral to lukewarm.

Jaguar: Classic British car company. Fantastic historical relevance with its beautiful D-Type racers and the vaunted XK-120 sports car. Responsible for one of the greatest cars of all time – the timeless and fabulous E-Type – but doomed to producing wildly inconsistent production cars ever since. Now they’re ready to capture the imagination of the consumer public once again with the expressive F-Type sports car. But while referring to the F-Type as "the baddest boy on the block" Jaguar operatives say they’re going to go up against the new Corvette and the new Porsche 911. Even in its brief heyday when the E-Type Jaguar was the talk of the automotive world, Jaguar was never even remotely the “baddest boy” on the block. It was sleek, sophisticated, beautiful and sexy - and amazingly enough that image survives to this day despite the fact that they tried to kill it many times over throughout history with relentlessly incompetent cars masquerading as desirable – but there was never a hint of “badass” associated with it. And guess what? Nothing has changed. Despite its many missteps Jaguar has managed to retain a shred of integrity all of these years, but clearly that persona has become expendable. Jaguar is out to attract “new” buyers, aka younger people with money. Good luck with that. For now we’ll leave the AE Brand Image Meter for Jaguar right where it was, warm to the touch. But that could change at any moment.

Jeep:  Right where it was last year. Jeep has succeeded because the True Believers in Auburn Hills charged with stewardship of the brand have managed to keep the non-believers - and there are plenty - from screwing it up. The AE Brand Image Meter? Right behind the “old” BMW and Porsche, which means Jeep is a step below the top of the meter. Jeep is an impeccable brand that is likely to stay that way, thank goodness. (And by the way the new Cherokee looks just fine in the flesh, so everyone can relax.)

Kia: Take everything said about Hyundai above and add a giant note of caution to Kia as well. The feistiness and march-to-a-different drummer attitude that Kia seems to wear on its sleeve only goes so far, and the Kia brand image is still undefined because of it. Kia has been riding the Korean wave for a while in this market, but with savvy competitors like Chevrolet, Ford and VW flexing their muscles, Kia is in danger of plateauing. The AE Brand image Meter? Warmish to the touch, but cooling rapidly.

Lamborghini: It could be argued that the Italian sports car manufacturer has, oddly enough, stayed more true to its mission than Ferrari despite being controlled by the German VW conglomerate. Lamborghini has gained a noticeable measure of respect in recent years for its unwavering passion and focus. Yes, they could go off of the rails at any moment, but all signs indicate that won’t happen anytime soon. The AE Brand Image Meter ranking? Smokin’ hot.

Lexus: The luxury arm of Toyota, Lexus is still the Eddie Haskell of the luxury auto space. Smiling, complimentary, overly solicitous and definitely annoying to enthusiast consumers who actually care about cars, Lexus has nonetheless proved to be a goldmine for Toyota’s coffers. Lexus is fine if your favorite luxury flavor is vanilla, but beyond that? Not so much, despite all of Akio Toyoda's recent efforts to project Lexus as being so darn switched on. The AE Brand Image Meter ranking? Coldly calculated. And icy cold to the touch.

Lincoln: The long awaited MKZ is finally out in volume after one of the worst product launches in Ford’s history and what do we know? We know Lincoln decidedly has a pulse and there are people interested in checking it out, but beyond that, not much. Next up for Lincoln is the smaller MKC crossover, which will be hitting that red-hot market segment at exactly the right time. But who’s kidding whom here? Lincoln needs a full-size luxury statement vehicle, stat. A car that makes people say, “Did you see that new Lincoln?” with a sense of excitement, interest and urgency. Until they have that car Lincoln will just be present and accounted for in the American luxury market. And while we’re at it, does Ford have an opportunity with Lincoln in the Chinese market? Yes, they do, but until they can demonstrate momentum in this market, it might not matter. The AE Brand Image Meter ranking for Lincoln remains stuck in neutral until further notice.

Lit Motors: This just in: Daniel Kim’s C1, the two-wheeled, fully enclosed, all-electric vehicle that’s held upright – stopped or moving - by powerful, computer controlled gyroscopes just may be the urban commuter of the future. What’s different about Kim’s idea that separates him from all of the other blue-sky dreamers that have come before? What does he have that the others don’t? First of all he’s built something that has never been done before and it works. Secondly, I believe he has the talent to pull it off. And most exciting to me, I view his creation as the urban sports car-bike that may actually be fun to drive. He just might have more than a shot. The AE Brand Image Meter? Not ready for prime time just yet.

Lotus: Nothing has changed since last year for Lotus, either. So much promise, so many promises, so many good ideas, so much wasted time, money and effort. To older enthusiasts Lotus will always be the legacy of the brilliant Colin Chapman, one of the most innovative minds this industry has ever seen. To newer, somewhat interested consumers Lotus is an automotive oddity that pales in comparison to a host of other machines out there. It doesn’t help that Lotus as a company is still hovering near financial chaos, but that’s neither here nor there when it comes to the AE Brand Image Meter, because the ranking is damp and cold, just like a late fall day in Norwich, England.

Maserati: A year later and still crazy. Another plank in Sergio's grand plan for world domination, Maserati is a somewhat attractive Italian sports car brand name with a historical legacy that repeatedly suffers in comparison to the rest of the competition. Does Maserati have attractive cars? Yes, of course, but the brand is not top of mind. In other words Maserati exists, but in a galaxy far, far away from the real luxury-performance retail action. Can Maserati see an upswing? Perhaps. But it will be excruciatingly slow and it cannot possibly live up to the aggressive sales plans Sergio and his minions have for it. The AE Brand Image Meter? Warm, but only for those who care.

Mazda: Another automotive puzzler that continues to mystify. Mazda makes some excellent, even outstanding cars but the brand always seems to be scrambling for respectability, in spite all of its product goodness. Zoom-Zoom was lively as an ad campaign, but “SKYACTIV” technology is nonsensical and flat-out dumb. The AE Brand Image Meter ranking? The glow is off of the coals and Mazda is cool to the touch.

McLaren: This exotic micro manufacturer is hell bent on becoming a legitimate threat to Ferrari’s dominance of the hyper exotic league, and I’m not betting against them. It might be coldly efficient and lacking emotion, but the new McLaren MP4-12C sports car is still brilliantly conceived and executed and will eventually prove to be one of the most desirable sports cars in the world. And the upcoming P1 seems to be attaining a new level of awesomeness entirely. McLaren gets a “smoking hot” ranking on the AE Brand Image Meter, if only because it’s nice to see Ferrari quake in their boots a little bit.

Mercedes-Benz: Speaking of Jekyll and Hyde car companies, Mercedes is the most wildly inconsistent auto manufacturer in the world. When they’re on they build absolutely glorious machines that live up to one of the great automotive legacies in the world. When they’re off, well, they can stink up the joint like no other. Part of the problem is the fact that Daimler is forced to stretch out its model lineup because it’s trying to fight a brutally competitive auto world without the resources of the other auto manufacturer conglomerates. But the majority of the problem lies in previous piss-poor marketing and advertising strategies that have deeply damaged the brand. The new CLA is supposed to change all of that but it’s a giant “we’ll see” if there ever was one. The AE Brand Image Meter? Still intermittently hot, but icy cold the rest of the time.

Mini: Came on like gangbusters from the moment it was introduced and has been successful beyond all expectations. With each new iteration, however, BMW pushes the envelope away from what Mini should be. Maybe BMW’s “be all things to all people” M.O. is rubbing off on Mini a little too much. Not that they’d notice or anything. The AE Brand Image Meter? Warm but in danger of careening off the road at any moment due to a product mistake.

Nissan: This company has slowly but surely become a mainstream force in the U.S. market while flying almost completely under the radar. Why? Solid products and even better (for Nissan), a burgeoning acceptance among consumers that it’s not only an acceptable choice, but a desirable choice. A nice difference. Nissan gets a very warm ranking on the AE Brand Image Meter.

Porsche: Porsche operatives are brilliant at executing the vision for the brand and staying relentlessly focused at the task at hand, which is to build the most enticing enthusiast sports cars they can muster, and in the process of doing so they’ve made Porsche the most desirable automotive brand in the world. At times arrogant as it goes about marketing its brilliant array of vehicles, Porsche nonetheless delivers on its brand promise repeatedly and with unwavering consistency, which means it occupies the top spot on the AE Brand Image Meter. Are they susceptible to missteps? Of course they are. The biggest selling models for Porsche? The Cayenne followed by the Panamera. Sales for the 911, Boxster and Cayman sports cars lag behind, by a lot. At some point the soccer mom or dad will forget what Porsche stands for (if they even remembered why they signed up for the brand in the first place) and that will be a giant steaming bowl of Not Good. Porsche seems to be keenly aware of the danger, however, which is a big reason why they’re going to go back to Le Mans in 2014 to contest for the overall win. Even Porsche operatives know they can’t stay on this roll indefinitely without shoring up the brand’s legacy.

Range Rover: Formerly known as a maker of clunky, cantankerous, bloated SUVs with faux status apropos of some other era not our own, Range Rover has now done a complete 180-degree shift. Thousands of pounds lighter and more elegant than ever before, Range Rover has become a very impressive machine. Add to that the concept car-like street presence of the Evoque, and the brand has gone from stuffy without a clue to the must-have SUV statement of-the-moment. Old AE Brand Image Meter ranking? Forgettable and eminently so. New AE Brand Image Meter ranking? Still hot and with more to come.

Rolls-Royce: Old School before Old School was even remotely cool again, Rolls-Royce is still firmly planted in its own little brand world – especially since its rejuvenation due to BMW ownership and the debut of the iconic Phantom followed by the Ghost. And what a wonderful, splendiferous world it is. The AE Brand Image Meter? Impeccable and smokin’ hot in a sexy-flirty Helen Mirren kind of way.

Scion: Nothing has changed here, folks. The original and most successful, at least initially, of the “clean sheet” youth-targeted brands – even though most buyers were over the age of 45 – Scion’s time has well and truly passed. The FR-S won’t be the start of a renewal for the brand, because it’s a singular product that suggests nothing about the future direction of Scion. The AE Brand Image Meter? An ice-cold cup of two-day-old Joe.

Subaru: Except for the rally-oriented cars, which exist in their own little enthusiast enclave, Subaru has attracted loyal followers by being the sensible brown shoes of the automotive world. Subaru understands who it is and what it can and should not do, and because of that focused consistency it has been rewarded with intense brand loyalty. The AE Brand Image Meter? For us personally, the brand doesn’t even register. For the Subaru faithful, it’s like a warm campfire with s'mores and chamomile tea.

Tesla: Blue-sky thinking, old-time religion and enough smoke and mirrors to last this industry a frickin’ lifetime, Elon Musk is a huge success, dammit, and don’t you dare forget it. The car built for politicians in Washington and Northern California, and EcoSwells needing even more validation for who they think they are, Tesla is riding a wave of hype at this very moemnt. The AE Brand Image Meter? To the green intelligentsia, it’s white-hot and The Future. To us it’s like a $100,000 spinach and sprout sandwich, served cold.

Toyota: The juggernaut that became a juggernot, Toyota is back with a vengeance and it’s proof positive there are legions of Toyota buyers out there who relish the opportunity to own a bland-tastic appliance that blends into the woodwork, no matter how much Akio Toyoda tries to juice things up. The AE Brand Image Meter? For Toyota brand loyalists the brand is a white-hot bowl of oatmeal. For everyone else it’s what they used to drive before they drifted off to Nissan, Hyundai or other automotive parts unknown.

Volvo: They squandered their “safe” market positioning and let it slip away to the competition, figuring they would go the luxury route and be hot. Not. The AE Brand Image Meter? It’s still the brand for people who question why they even bother to own a car in the first place.

VW: Setting aside the world domination plans of the VW Group for a moment, which admittedly is hard to do (although they seem to have cooled off dramatically of late in this market), there’s no doubt that what VW has been doing product-wise is a sight to behold. The cars are very, very good with a level of execution that resonates down to the last detail. If they can deliver what’s promised without the service hassles, they are going to be unstoppable. But then again that still remains to be seen, doesn’t it? The AE Brand Image Meter? Still warm to the touch with the possibility of hotness, especially when the next-gen GTI gets here.

As I said earlier, if this stuff were easy, everyone would have 30 percent market share and the streets in auto centers around the world would be paved with platinum.

Automakers who are in search of a brand image garner the tiniest bit of slack from me, because at least they know what they want and where they need to go.

But the automakers who have a brand image and don’t have the first clue as to what to do with it, or worse, have squandered a great brand legacy because of cluelessness, ineptitude, or both, draw zero sympathy from me.

It’s duly noted that the companies that are overflowing with True Believers and that focus every waking moment on the integrity and the fundamental desirability of the product are doing very well right now in the brand image department, and they will continue to do so.

The rest? Well, for them flailing and floundering about seems to be a full-time career trajectory.

Brand hotness is a fleeting thing, except for those brands that understand how they got it, what it took to get it to that point, and what it will take to keep it.

And that’s the High-Octane Truth for this week.