Issue 1274
November 20, 2024
 

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Editors' Note: If you have a comment, please include your name or initials (AND YOUR HOMETOWN TOO, PLEASE). We do not print email addresses. If you want to read previous issues, click on "Next Entry" on the bottom of each section (we do not save emails from previous issues, however). Thank you. -WG  

 



Harley Earl lives on and the agony of high school physics!

Will the Harley Earl era of “longer, lower, wider” and “road hugging weight” ever loose its grip on the American automotive psyche??? Doesn’t look that way from surveying the current products and profit drivers of the historic “big three”. Thus it has always been. Hard to tell if it is truly nostalgia or the brutal laws of physics that accompany the transport of sufficient electrons necessary for the job. The targeted pickup demographic is really too young to remember the ‘50s but definitely pegs the agony meter for high school physics. From there is born the stupidity you observe.

Dr. John
Phoenix, Arizona





Big grilles, bigger headaches.

I absolutely agree with your comments on the stupid commercials presented by almost all of the manufacturers of off highway vehicles. Seeing the SUVs pounding through the terrain, throwing up rooster tails of mud and dust, racing as if trying to escape a velociraptor - not like the Tread Lightly principles that responsible off road drivers practice. I've owned twenty Land Rovers over the last 52 years and I use them frequently to explore off pavement tracks in the southeastern US. Too many of the trails I've explored for all of those years have been closed due to irresponsible drivers doing stupid stuff. And don't even get me started on modern "full size" pickup trucks - the big three all seem to be in a competition as to who can have the biggest and tallest front grille - as if it’s that which reflects the "manliness" of its owner. The average pickup bed height is now almost chest high - an old guy like me would have a big problem loading and unloading stuff from the bed of modern pickups.

JackW.
Roswell. Georgia





The pursuit of nothingness.

American exceptionalism has transformed into American Excess. Bigger, faster, stronger is our new motto. We live for new videos, new posts and new updates without realizing none of it means anything. The pursuit of happiness is now the pursuit of nothingness. We don’t need anything the Big 3 sell. We want big trucks and SUVs but we don’t need them. Practical gas sipping cheap cars are what we need. Young buyers need them, single moms need them, widowed husbands need them. And if this Chinese automotive future is near guess where those people will look? It won’t be a giant Hummer. It won’t be a 1,000HP Corvette. It won’t be a Raptor R.

JRR
Plymouth, Michigan





Market demands.

I think the blame for these obscene 6,7, 8,000-pound monsters lie not with the makers, but with the people who buy them. I guess these folks think that we have unlimited gas, and they want to make sure they come out ahead in an accident with one of those little (fuel efficient) “furrin” cars. As long as people keep buying them, we can’t blame the people who are building them.

Ted R
Raleigh, North Carolina





Decades in the making.

The stupid meter was pegged when the geniuses started producing these 3-ton turds based on engineering first exposed in 1977 on Fernwood Tonight when Vern demonstrated his VW 411 powered by 3000 D cells. Today's technology are powered by an average of 5000 cell phone batteries.

Martin Mull should have been named "chief technologist" decades ago. Then again, America's climb up the stupidity ladder started back in the 1970s when the Chevette was introduced and was outsold by vans that were priced $100 less than the Chevette. Today, America is enamored with these minivans with 5' luggage carriers attached. I feel personally responsible for this. I used to take my M35A2 to car shows at Ford. The designers had to come up with something bigger because of that "small dick" energy that they all seemed to possess. So, in conclusion, is it smart for Farley to copy Martin Mulls battery technology?

Ptg0
Highland Park, Michigan





Fun?

I had the opportunity to go for a backroads jaunt this weekend through autumn farmland. I had Vince Guaraldi jazz streaming through my phone and I was thinking about my next car purchase when my current lease is up. Where’s the next Colin Chapman? I want something light, toss-able and frugal. Of course, Miata is Always The Answer, but the local dealer only brings them in on order, and I’m hoping for a facelift. If the 86/BRZ was available in a convertible it would be nice, but I hear they’re going away early due to EU emissions. There are endless breathy rumors of a new MR2 or Celica, but nothing to see yet. And I don’t think Honda has the mojo to make a new S2000 or even a Beat. (Their most popular vehicle with the youths around here? 25-year-old Kei trucks with motorcycle engine swaps.) When will cars be FUN again?

Infosaur
Sinking Spring, Pennsylvania





Heavyweights.

6000 lb. trucks - yikes -right on article as expected by AE. Macho poundage pathetic pickups. I believe 1500 series trucks have about 1/8" thick frames; 2500 series !/4". 1000-1500 extra pounds for no reason.

JLM
Kenosha, Wisconsin





Definitely stupid.

How about the trend to decorate the IP Cover of your Jeep with little plastic duckies and stuffed animals so that you can barely see what's in front of you?. ("lemmings") Stupid or Cute?

FrankS
Rochester, Michigan





Smells like a steak and seats 35!

Concerning The Rant and the take on behemoth SUVs (The upcoming Cadillac VISTIQ EV clocks in at 6,326 lbs., for example, or a 9000 lb. Hummer). This reminds me of the Simpson's episode "The Last Temptations of Krust" which features an advertisement for The Canyonero....

Can you name the truck with four-wheel drive,
smells like a steak and seats thirty-five..
Canyonero! Canyonero!


Well, it goes real slow with the hammer down, It's the country-fried truck endorsed by a clown! Seems to me that The Simpson's writers were way ahead of the game.

PAS
Windsor, Ontario, CANADA






No apologies.

Put the blame for truck squarely on the backs of U.S. Federal Government, and the State of California nonsense.  As they have forced autos to become smaller and smaller, and basically driving OEMs out of the "car" business, consumers have responded with buying even bigger vehicles. I drive a F350 CCLB, that I use to pull a 5th wheel as we travel around the country.  There is not a smaller option to a HD truck.  I'm not apologizing for my truck, and in fact prefer it over a car.  We're currently in the SW, and drivers are getting worse and worse.  The more run down the vehicle is, the more likely they are to run red lights, run stop signs, sometimes without even slowing down.  Speeding, don't get me started on people zig zagging through heavy traffic, only to get stopped at the next traffic light. In most accidents, I will be safer in this truck than any cigarette size box auto.  Funny side note, I did something, have no idea what it was, that caused one of those banged up cars to flip me off and literally stop in front of me blocking me from getting on a freeway ramp.  I was sitting there thinking, have you really thought this through?  The driver then had a change of heart and took off spewing gravel.

PH
SE Michigan





Not. Very. Good.

"American exceptionalism has transformed into American Excess". Well put by JRR, and I agree wholeheartedly. In the big picture, the progress the Greatest Generation and beyond made is backsliding. We've become a nation of grievances and "it's time for me to get mine". It's no longer about the greater good but about personal satisfaction. Yeah, maybe I'm Pollyanna. But it's sickening and sad at the same time.

Dave M.
Houston, Texas





Big pharma and crypto to the rescue?

Remember Casite Motor Honey, Rislone and STP?? The current crop of morbidly obese ICE and EV vehicles could use a dose of Ozempic, Mounjaro and Jardiance in their gas tanks and battery cells. Take a tip from some real weight control marketers! Wouldn’t void the warranty and could likely save some lives. Profits for “Electric Boy” and others? Well, that’s another matter. Wait ‘till they start financing these things with crypto in the new administration and everything will be OK.

Dr. John
Phoenix, Arizona





Morrie's wigs.

The top-down performance of the Bugatti W16 Mistral gives Consumer Reports the perfect opportunity to test the efficacy of toupee glue. Or, perhaps The Onion.

Tom Pease
AE's L.A.-based Correspondent
Beverly Hills, California





Different strokes for different folks.

I enjoyed your rant today. Very well said. As you might imagine Texas damn near requires you to buy a pickup here as the price of entry. I am guilty of driving a 1st-gen Tundra for 20-years and it was, to me, the perfect size. When Toyota redesigned the Tacoma around '03 or '04 I had a guy run up to me and ask if I was driving the new Tacoma. I had to sheeplishly admit, "No this is just a Tundra.”

Anyway, I would like to recall a rant that you had probably around ten years ago regarding owning vehicles that suit their purpose. My garage currently consists of a Chevy Bolt, Lexus NX, and heavily modified 4Runner V8. As you might imagine the Bolt is my daily "city car", The NX is my wife's luxury wagon and road trip car if we need to, and the modified 4Runner is my Toy. Used almost exclusively for vacations to Moab, Durango, Ouray, or just about anywhere in Colorado.

I recognize that I am lucky to afford more cars than I *need*, but there is nobody seriously in need of a GMC Yukon Denali or F-250 King Ranch that couldn't easily get by with a Camry. If, gawd forbid, you might go to HD, Lowes or Costco then rent a truck for a day. It's way more cost effective than paying for 13 to 16 mpg in the city 365 days a year.

I'm off my soapbox (for now).

Happy Holidays and keep up the great writing. I've been a reader since nearly day one.

Robert B.
Fort Worth, Texas