THE AUTOEXTREMIST

January 13, 2010

Asleep at the Wheel: Welcome to the 2010 North American International Library Convention, er, Auto Show…

By Peter M. De Lorenzo

Detroit. Shhhhhhhh. There was an auto show down at Cobo Hall this week - at least I think there was. Although this one was quiet. Real quiet.  So quiet in fact that it was as if the organizers pumped something “soothing” through the ventilation system, which caused everyone to walk around in a zombie-like state of semi-agreeable bliss.

I was hoping to be wowed, or outraged at least – well, there was a little bit of that – but the net-net of the 2010 Detroit Auto Show was that the whole thing left me with an overwhelming sense of being asleep at the wheel (except that in my nightmare Nancy Pelosi was riding shotgun and yelling at me to wake up, and slow down).

Without further ado then, pack your pillows and fuzzy slippers, and let’s go for a semi-conscious lap around the Quietest Auto Show in Recent Memory. (btw, if you want to see photos from the show, check out  http://editorial.autos.msn.com/autoshow/detroit?icid=autos_0110084&GT1=22014 because we didn’t take any)

Darn tootin’ we’re back, at least Big Ed says we are. The car company formerly known as GM was hell-bent on letting everyone know – from Nancy and her minions to the assembled hordes in the media – that they were back, with renewed energy, renewed focus, renewed products and a revitalized spirit. And except for something called the Acadia Denali - which was nothing more than an Acadia crossover with Denali design cues and a complete yawner - for the most part, they succeeded.

The Chevrolet Aveo RS concept and the GMC Granite concept - which are both derived from GM’s Gamma architecture - were nicely rendered and executed and should prove to be formidable competitors to the Ford Focus and its derivatives, at least from the design perspective. The next-generation Aveo is such a dramatic departure from the current car, in fact, that it deserves a new name. The Granite - which is said to be 95 percent consistent with the production exterior shape and detailing - is an interesting “urban utility” vehicle in GMC’s words, but then again it re-opens that whole can of worms all over again, as in, what does GMC really stand for? Something tells me that question is a “developing situation” depending on the day and who you’re talking to. I get the fact that GMC is “premium” in whatever they do, but how long before the “new” GM starts running into itself in the market like the “old” GM did on a regular basis? I’m betting all of five minutes...

In other GM news the Buick Regal GS is too good of a sport package not to be ready at intro (doubtful), and of course the Cadillac CTS Coupe and CTS-V Coupe are simply first-rate entries into this market, with the sensational CTS-V being the production show-stopper in Detroit.

But even bigger headlines went to the beautiful Cadillac XTS Platinum concept, which will replace two entries in the Cadillac lineup - the long-in-the-tooth STS and DTS sedans – when it makes its showroom debut two-and-one-half years from now. The XTS is easily more elegant than the new A8 from Audi and the 7 Series from BMW in the flesh, and its interior is equal to if not better than any mainstream premium luxury car in the world today. It’s that good. GM is talking about a hybrid V6 all-wheel-drive powertrain for the XTS, but it doesn’t matter, because for the first time in a long time a beautiful full-size Cadillac is on the horizon. And that’s a very good thing.

(GM)

The Cluelessness lingers, however. But as exciting as GM’s products are there’s no getting around the fact that their design, engineering and product execution capabilities are so way out in front of the company’s ability to actually market what they have that GM will continue to flail and flounder about in search of a clue. And unless and until they figure out how to break through this perpetual marketing conundrum they will continue to spin their wheels in this market, no matter how glossy and high-falutin’ Big Ed’s pronouncements get.

Those specks fading in Ford’s rearview mirror? It just might be you. To say that Ford had a big Detroit Auto Show is the understatement of this New Year. Kicking off the show with the North American Car (Ford Fusion Hybrid) and Truck (Ford Transit Connect) of the Year, Ford then proceeded to make news with its production cars that will be rolling out over the next year. The 2011 Mustang has two exciting new engine choices (which we covered last week – ed.), the excellent Fiesta finally hits this market for real this summer, the freshened Lincoln MKX crossover turned up the wick even further and the all new global Focus – due here fifteen months from now - made its formal debut to the world’s automotive media. Even better news for Ford to me was the fact that the mood of the Ford executives at the show was upbeat but without any trace of smugness or complacency. Alan Mulally has his troops focused on the job at hand, and as long as they stay that way - and realize that they still have a long, long way to go - Ford is going to be a formidable competitor for years to come.

Uh, except there’s that one “speck” that’s not fading, now that you mention it. Speaking of production car heroics, the Hyundai display was fraught with scary stuff if you were a competitor. The new Sonata is really good, and the new premium luxury Equus sedan is more than for real, it’s clearly a signal that this Korean manufacturer is in relentless pursuit of greatness (well, except for that hokey hood ornament, however). But just in case you’re thinkin’ Hyundai is all that with no residual traces of bumbling stupidity leftover from the “dark” years, they went ahead and unveiled something called the Blue-Will Plug-in Hybrid Concept, a design train wreck of such monumental proportions that it suggests that Hyundai is perfectly capable of coming unglued at a moment’s notice. The fact that Hyundai willingly unloaded this atrocity in Detroit gives one pause, to say the least. So we’ll continue to file Hyundai under the “coming brand” category, certainly breathing down the necks of Toyota, Honda, Ford and VW, but a work in progress nonetheless.

From the “We Admittedly Sucked - Big-Time - But We’re Back On Our Game Now So Watch Out” File. Toyota had such a bad year in 2009 that the entire company threatened to implode under the weight of an embarrassing sequence of screw-ups, meltdowns and flat-out stupidities that sacked the previous regime and forced the company to look inward for the first time, discovering that they were indeed fallible in the process. Going from being invincible to vulnerable in a matter of months, Toyota threatened to squander decades of accumulated good will with a lethal combination of inactions and inappropriate reactions that inevitably went the wrong way. But the FT-CH Concept – a fluorescent green hybrid sports coupe with four doors – reminded everyone that Toyota isn’t going anywhere and that when they wanted to they could still crank it up with the best of ‘em. The fact that the FT-CH debuted at the same show where Honda took the wraps off of its production CR-Z was not lost on anyone either. Toyota was short on details about the FT-CH, but it was a very impressive effort from the soul-searching Japanese giant.

It used to be a pretty cool car company, but then things got weird, Part I. Speaking of Honda, they finally took the wraps off their production CR-Z Hybrid sports coupe to the sound of one hand clapping. Although quite interesting from the middle of the roof back, it was as if the Honda designers put the front end through a vanilla neutralizer to meet crash standards and utterly destroyed the face of the original concept - which was pretty damn good by the way - to the point that the thing was unrecognizable. I’ve got one simple question for Honda: Why? Or better yet, WTF? Then you stroll around the Honda and Acura stands and see the absolute horror show of egregious design miscues, missteps and flat-out mistakes (Crosstour, ZDX), there’s no need to ask “why?” anymore. The people involved need to be run out of town on a rail and then Honda needs to start over. It’s that simple. Memo to Honda: Shiny Happy Smiley efficiency isn’t nearly enough. You better get your shit together, or it’s going to be Toyota, Ford, Hyundai and VW leading the charge over the next decade, and you’re going to end up being an also-ran, and an after thought.

The short story on Chrysler at the Detroit Auto Show? Three Words: A frickin’ disaster. About six weeks ago the George P. Johnson Company – a veteran industry display company, er “experience marketing” company – got the call from the folks in Auburn Hills and the message was “help.” Chrysler had nothing planned of any consequence for Cobo Hall and they needed to do something, like quick. So what they came up with for Chrysler on short notice allowed the car company to be present and accounted for in Detroit, and that’s about it. Chrysler showed some embarrassing new option packages on a couple of Jeep models and crossovers (ahem, the Dodge Nitro “Detonator”???) and even threw some Chrysler design cues on a Lancia hatchback as if to say “this is kinda-sorta what we’re thinkin’ if you get our drift.” But other than that - and a huge Ram HD truck display - there was absolutely zero to it. Oh, they managed to squeeze a Ferrari, a couple of Fiat 500s and a Maserati into the display too (more on that in this week’s “On The Table”), but really, why bother?

It used to be a pretty cool car company, but then things got weird, Part II. Not to be outdone in the schlock department, BMW brought the 5 Series GT to Cobo Hall, and it was even worse in person than I expected. How BMW managed to arrive at the notion that a 5,000-lb. “luxury” hatchback was a good idea has been well-documented, but it’s still beyond me. When you operate under the guiding principle of “we know what’s best for people and they will not only get used to it but they will like it” it’s easy to see how these guys run amuck. Combine that with the fact that they are absolutely incapable of walking away from a niche – both real and imagined – if they think they can make a couple of bucks on it and you end up with an outrage called the 5 Series GT. That this unmitigated design disaster will contribute immeasurably to the overall degradation of the original essence of BMW matters not one iota to the powers that be at BMW, because their arrogance is blindingly all-encompassing, and they truly believe that their actions will have no undue consequences other than to add more glory and more kudos and more money to the corporate coffers at the end of the day. How bad is the 5 Series GT? It’s so bad that it starts to make the X6 look acceptable. Oh the horror, the horror…

Not only is it a very cool car company, it’s getting cooler by the minute. To say that Audi is dialed in is to state the obvious. This car company is so switched on right now that it’s like they’re operating in a different dimension of excellence. Ford may be on a roll, but they can’t even begin to pretend to be in Audi’s solar system. Excellence was everywhere you looked in the Audi display, from the exquisite R8 Spyder to the S5 Coupe all the way to the new A8 sedan. But the stunner was the eTron concept with its taut muscular surfaces and overall compact dimensions. The eTron - glistening in its silvery blue metallic – is the second-generation of Audi’s full-electric vehicle exploration, and it provided the exclamation point to the Audi display. (One cautionary note about Audi? Though impressive on the inside the new A8 is decidedly unimpressive on the outside - especially when compared to the Cadillac XTS – which just goes to show you that there’s a very fine line between being all-world and just merely excellent.)

The rest of the rest. VW unveiled the painfully ordinary New Compact Coupe Hybrid Concept, which was supposed to demonstrate that they have their green act together, too, along with everybody else. Except that all it demonstrated to me was that VW designers really liked the previous generation Honda Civic, a lot. The “NCC” was a complete snoozer. MINI showed its Beachcomber Concept, which clearly signaled the shape and overall dimensions of its upcoming crossover. We couldn’t muster the energy to give a shit about it, but whatever. And that goes for the new Subaru Forester too. The new Jaguar XJ sedan is pretty damn cool despite that painfully weird C-pillar, but just order yours in black and it won’t matter. The Lotus Evora was better in-person than in the pictures, but almost $80,000? Uh, you’ve got to be kidding. The Bentley Mulsanne sedan was simply gorgeous (see more on it in “On The Table” – ed.). And Mercedes-Benz? The fact that this once superstar German auto company ends up in our “rest of the rest” section says it all. The new E-Class cabrio was just okay, the Maybach Zeppelin had all the charm of a Brinks truck (actually a Brinks truck is more handsome from certain angles), the SLS supercar is flat-out ugly – and from multiple angles too - and the rest of the Mercedes display was eminently forgettable (okay, the CL Coupes are good, but that’s it). It used to be that BMW and Mercedes made up the German luxury car hierarchy with Audi perennially mired in third position. Now it’s Audi… and everybody else.

And last but not least, our Autoextremist Awards for the 2010 Detroit Auto Show…

The Much Ado About Absolutely Nothing Award: The much ballyhooed “Electric Avenue” display was a monumental joke. I predict you’ll be able to shoot a gun off there during the entire run of public days at the show and never hit a soul. It might have sounded like a good idea for the politicos in Washington, but it’s a monumental waste of time and space.

The Most Beautiful Production Car: The 2011 Cadillac CTS-V Coupe (along with its less powerful sibling, the CTS Coupe) is a glittering reminder of how compelling and emotionally appealing great automotive design can be. These cars will be highly regarded and sought after for years to come.

The Most Significant Production Car: Actually, cars in this case. With visionary design presence, athletic driving dynamics, remarkable efficiency and connectivity – while placing the emphasis on actually being fun-to-drive, yeah, now there’s a concept – the Ford Fiesta and Ford Focus represent nothing less than the reinvention of the mainstream American automobile.

The Most Beautiful Alternative Propulsion Concept: The Audi eTron is simply superb from every angle. Taut, muscular, yet surprisingly compact, the eTron is convincing evidence that in order to draw people into the future of alternative automotive transportation, you’ll still have to go through their hearts and minds to get them there.

The Autoextremist Best in Show: I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, but Ed Welburn’s troops at GM Design have been on a roll for several years now, and they’ve done it yet again with the sensational Cadillac XTS Platinum Concept. Wonderfully proportioned and craftily rendered, the surface detailing alone on this machine is nothing short of a clinic on how it’s done. Combine that with an interior design and execution that’s simply second to none, and the XTS Platinum has everything a car worthy of “best in show” accolades must have from where we sit. The Cadillac XTS Platinum not only has a majestic presence, it’s clearly the direct spiritual successor to the magnificent Sixteen concept from several years ago. The XTS Platinum will allow Cadillac to take its rightful place again as the ultimate expression of American luxury, and the new Standard of the World.

Thanks for listening.

(Photos courtesy of GM)

 

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