THE AUTOEXTREMIST
Tuesday, July 12, 2011 at 11:28AM July 13, 2011
Lethal formulas and unmitigated disasters.
By Peter M. De Lorenzo
(Posted 7/12, 11:30 a.m.) Detroit. They say that no one builds bad cars anymore in this business, at least when it comes to the established automakers, and for the most part that’s basically true. But that doesn’t mean that there aren’t bad product strategies and horrendous executions based off of those flawed strategies, especially when egos are involved. Some are subtle and just “off” enough to generate a tepid sales response in the market, and if that’s the least of the damage caused to a manufacturer’s reputation it can usually be overcome with a redirect in the next product cycle change. Not that it’s insignificant, but being slightly “off” is a lot different from being so far off of the reservation that rational people start to question your sanity.
Case in point? I offer up two vehicles for your consideration today, the Mercedes-Benz Smart car and the Nissan Murano CrossCabriolet. These two star-crossed vehicles are lost in a Twilight Zone of bad judgment, poor planning, questionable strategic meandering (at best) and enough egomaniacal-driven thinking to make Dr. Piech smile.
First up, the Mercedes-Benz Smart. I have to tip my hat to the German auto executive mentality, because when it comes to egomaniacal thinking there aren’t charts big enough to quantify what these guys bring to the table. That Mercedes-Benz executives actually believe that they can resurrect Smart in this country (they officially took it back “in house” on July 1st) after Roger Penske – whom I consider to be one of the smartest guys in this business by a long shot – and a handpicked team of executives led by Jill Lajdziak couldn’t make it work over a sustainable period of time in this market is a testament to the kind of delusional, ego-driven thinking that I’m talking about.
It involves a cessation of reality, really, because after all, the Smart car has a fatal flaw. And no, it’s not the fact that there are plenty of bigger and roomier cars that deliver similar fuel economy to what the Smart can do, or the fact that the Fiat 500 is currently pegging the cute and cuddly meter – at least for the time being – in this market, it’s the fact that the transmission in the Smart was an abomination at introduction, and it has never been fixed. If the thing delivered mileage that was sensational then one could maybe – and I said maybe – ignore the fact that the transmission is pure junk, but that isn’t the case.
Yet here come the Mercedes-Benz executives, all charged-up and brimming with pronouncements about how Smart is going to be this and that and how they’re going to reenergize, rejuvenate and re-launch the brand to an American consumer public that is just clamoring for a re-flash of Smart.
Except they aren’t. The Smart ship sailed long ago in this market (peaking in 2008) and it has been downhill ever since because of the aforementioned factors. Now it’s a new world filled with outstanding smaller cars that deliver exponentially more to the consumer than the Smart brand could ever dream of. In other words that dog won’t hunt even with a T-bone incentive.
But true to form, Mercedes-Benz is going to ride the Smart brand right into the ground, because left to their own devices the egomaniacal Daimler culture won’t allow them to acknowledge the fact that they screwed up royally and that Smart is well and truly over in this market. And so it goes…
But now what, exactly, is Nissan’s excuse? The Murano CrossCabriolet is, in case you’re not familiar with it, a convertible SUV. Let me repeat that: A convertible SUV. Now, to some that might equate to designing a cheeseburger with a layer of Oreo cream filling that has only 50 calories, or an in-home brewery set-up that can also do your laundry, but in an industry that’s predicated on designing, engineering and building machines that people well and truly covet enough to make payments on the Murano CrossCabriolet has “train wreck” written all over it.
Not that I don’t approve of auto companies pushing the envelope mind you, because that’s a part of this business as well. For all of Dr. Piech’s (VW’s Il Commendatore and Porsche family member) mechanical daydreams over the years – and he’s had plenty – there were bound to be a few stinkers, but he’s also come up with some of the most brilliant stuff this business has ever seen. Reaching and dreaming will forever be a part of this business because that’s what makes it come alive. And sometimes those dreams turn into production masterpieces and sometimes they don’t, but the important thing is that it’s still very much a part of what this business is and should be all about.
But sometimes there has to be someone situated at the end of the conference room table who – when presented with an idea that’s totally without merit and has no redeeming value whatsoever – actually has the cojones to say, “Uh, excuse me, but WTF are you guys thinking?”
Unfortunately for Nissan that person wasn’t in attendance the day the Murano CrossCabriolet got approved. This thing is the Gigli of the auto industry (look it up), a rolling parade float made up of enough misguided strategic thinking, irrational deductions and flat-out abject stupidity that it will define “unmitigated disaster” in this business for years to come.
Even the New York Times, which normally softballs its critique of automobiles in its auto section, couldn’t resist piling on the CrossCabriolet. To wit Lawrence Ulrich’s comments about this automotive atrocity in last Sunday’s paper…
“I’ll give Nissan credit for guts and urge them to keep doing what they’re doing. But its well-paid executives must still know the difference between a bold experiment and a designer’s doodle that should be politely received, then crumpled and flipped into the trash.”
Ouch. But it’s actually worse than that. Believe it or not the Pontiac Aztek, as a concept, set the table for all of the crossover vehicles that have come after it. It wasn’t successful, but it did have a groundbreaking role.
The Nissan CrossCabriolet enjoys no such distinction.
It’s going straight to the “The Answer to the Question Absolutely No One is Asking” Hall of Fame because it defies logic and common sense in such a glorious mishmash of poor taste and whimsical insanity that it will leave people speechless for decades.
When talking about a monument to automotive mediocrity – should one ever get built – the CrossCabriolet will be on the pedestal, the symbolic center of automotive tedium, an excruciatingly painful reminder that the no one said “WTF are you guys thinking?” at the meeting when it was needed most.
But in a way I’m happy to see examples of abject stupidity in this business like Mercedes-Benz and its re-launch of Smart – complete with its classic egomaniacal German thinking for all to see – or Nissan with its Murano CrossCabriolet, a monument to ill-conceived and misguided thinking the likes of which we’ll have to wait another 25 years or so to see.
Why? It’s a very stark reminder that in this era of “no bad cars” there’s a lethal formula lurking under the surface that can wreak havoc on the most well-intentioned car companies.
And that formula goes something like this:
Loss of Focus + Too Much Unchecked Ego = Unmitigated Disaster.
The kind that results in product disasters like the Nissan Murano CrossCabriolet, and boneheaded marketing strategies that actually have allegedly well-intentioned executives believing that the re-launch of the Smart in this market is a good idea.
And that’s the High-Octane Truth for this week.
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