ON THE TABLE

August 1, 2012

 Mike Jackson. Editor-in-Chief's Note: A former VP of marketing at GM who left under a cloud of mediocrity - to put it mildly - had the temerity to show up in AdAge today with a guest editorial advising GM CEO Dan Akerson what to do next now that Joel Ewanick has exited the company. Mike Jackson lending marketing advice to GM is laughable, pathetic and a complete joke. There's never been anything "there" with Jackson and he's clearly trolling for work down at the RenCen for his diminutive ad agency, which has recently relocated back here after a stint in Las Vegas. Memo to Dan and the rest down at GM: There are talented resources out there who could actually offer some reasoned counsel, but Jackson certainly isn't one of them. Not by any stretch. - PMD

Sergio Marchionne. Editor-in-Chief's Note: The sweater wearin', espresso swillin', chain smokin' auto industry guru with a Jesus complex - he'll walk on water if you just let him show you - was at it again last week when he tried to get the European automobile market to do his bidding. Sergio is pissed because Fiat - which is completely on the ropes and totally beholden to Chrysler's resurgent fortunes - is about to go down and he wants VW to stop its aggressive pricing policies because according to The Almighty Sergio the plummeting European market is already tough enough without VW roiling the waters. Marchionne was quoted in the International Herald Tribune as saying that the European auto market is “is a bloodbath of pricing and it’s a bloodbath on margins.” Outraged that his "golden touch" reputation might be sullied by the complete implosion of Fiat under his watch, Sergio then called for the European Commission to help the industry confront overcapacity. “What they should do is coordinate a rationalization of the industry across the producing companies,” he said. “The ones that really have not acted on this are the French and the Germans, who have not taken out any capacity at all.” VW's juicy response? The German automaker demanded that Marchionne step down as chairman of European auto trade group ACEA. “Marchionne is unbearable as president of ACEA,” VW spokesman Stephan Gruehsem said. “In our view, his comments are unqualified yet again. We’re therefore calling on him to step down." Marchionne is basically asking for sanctioned collusion in the European market to keep his balls out of the tightening vice created by the stumbling, bumbling car company called Fiat, which has been, except for Ferrari, a monumental embarrassment for going on decades. The Detroit News labeled Sergio a hero for his suggestion - big surprise - but the reality is that Sergio wants it both ways when it suits his self-interests, which has been his M.O. throughout his career. The Bottom Line? VW has every right to get aggressive in the European market if that's what they want to do. (Believe me, if the situation were reversed, Sergio would come up with some horseshit explanation justifying his aggressive pricing policies, I have no doubt whatsoever.) It might backfire on VW big-time, but in the meantime Marchionne needs to do something that is completely anathema to him: Sit down and shut up. - PMD

 GM. Editor-in-Chief's Note: Lost in the Fog of War that was the Joel Ewanick contretemps was the news that Dave Lyon, who was to become Vice President of Design for Opel/Vauxhall in Rüsselsheim, Germany, on August 1st, had abruptly left the company last week. Cardesignnews reported Lyon's departure this way: "Instead of boarding his fiight to Germany, Lyon was reportedly escorted out of GM by the design department's HR director, Joseph Ofori-Agboka, on Thursday. On Friday morning, a one-liner was e-mailed by Ed Welburn himself, worded to this effect: 'Effective immediately, David Lyon is no longer an employee of General Motors Corporation.' Lyon's departure is sending violent shock waves through GM Design, as the unprecendented manner of his exit suggests it was neither amicable nor the result of careful planning. Indeed, his preparations to move to Rüsselsheim were well underway, and sources tell us he was passionate about leaving his mark in Germany. The week before last, Lyon hosted a well-attended farewell party; moreover, an official ceremony was held by his GM's head of design, Ed Welburn." Uh, in the immortal words of Vince Lombardi, "What the HELL is going on out there!" Losing a talent the likes of Lyon's caliber is a blow, no matter what the circumstances. We suspect that more will come out about this, but in the meantime GM's fortunes with Opel - which were already sinking rapidly - have taken another massive hit that they can ill-afford. - PMD

(PPG)
A gorgeous, jet-black 1932 Ford Victoria built by renowned custom car constructor Bobby Alloway took the prestigious Classic Instruments Street Rod of the Year award at the Goodguys 15th PPG Nationals held July 6-8, in Columbus, Ohio, at the Ohio Expo Center. The '32 Ford Victoria sports Alloway's signature street rod look wearing a deep, rich PPG Deltron® black coat — Alloway's favorite finish — and an aggressive, raked body sitting on a custom chassis. A 502-cubic inch big block engine powers through a 5-speed gearbox, while a custom leather interior and burled wood dashboard complete the unique package. In all, the car, built for Georgia street rod enthusiast Dave Walsh, reflects the timeless appeal of a customized vintage Ford. Click here for a video of Bobby Alloway describing the build process of this stunning street rod.

Editor-in-Chief's Note: Our friend Casey "artandcolour" Shain has come up with another assortment of his visionary digital illustration "chops" for us and they're spectacular. Casey commented on a couple of them, "I include a couple of chops of 'older' cars because I know you personally like them even if they're not right for your site. The Eldorado convertible was done to see how it would look with the '67-68's hidden headlights and cleaned up bodysides. The T-bird speedster was done to give me something to drive on Connecticut's backroads during summer weekends, lol. It's vaguely based on those old AMT car models that could be built '3 Ways.'" See Casey's visionary take on automobile design below, with his comments under each image. - PMD

All digital illustrations by Casey "artandcolour" Shain)
My take on the '71 Eldorado: Using more of the "first gen FWD" cues and details, with really subtle changes for those with only a casual interest. I still love this series.

1964 Tbird Speedster: Subtle "Barris" like changes, evocative of the period, but also completely up to date. I gave it a much sleeker window area and used '66 Mustang "scoop" trim on the front fenders.

2013 Fusion Coupe. The new-for-'13 Fusion is so coupe like, I thought it merited deletion of the rear doors.

2013 Fusion Energi sedan: I modified it into a 5-door hatchback with sleeker rear styling and "period" detailing such as blacked out rear panel and rocker panels.

2013 MKZ Coupe: On the other hand the new Lincoln MKZ is so futuristic, and I love it, that I gave this coupe version a retro vibe with pillar-less construction and classic RWD proportions.

2014 Lincoln MKS hybrid: Given the current "S's" Volvo-derived platform, I based this newest "S" on the Volvo S60 with lengthened wheelbase and overhangs. I know Ford doesn't own Volvo anymore, but my chop would be based on reciprocation for past good deeds, lol. And it brings back the classic '70s color-keyed luxury groups, in this case, a Copper and Pewter version.

2014 Lincoln MKL: The rear-drive flagship Lincoln returns with "suicide" doors, though today of course they would be powered opened and closed with electronic safety interlocks. The platform would be AWD compatible and be equivalent to the "L" versions of the S Class and 7-series, with a 125" wheelbase.

Lincoln HiPo: The last Lincoln today would be WAY in the future. This yellow "HiPo" is a hybrid, perhaps hydrogen powered, with all aluminum or carbon fiber construction. Weight would be 2400 lbs maximum, and mileage could be the equivalent of 100mpg. Aero is below a teardrop, lol.

Flex Country Squire: This 2-door coupe wagon would be a true luxury crossover, with a panel of real American Walnut on the tailgate and a 4 bucket-seat interior. Small rear quarter windows would allow this to be the first pillar-less coupe wagon since the late '50s Mercury.

Buick Encue: This would be the divisions middle child crossover, slotted between the updated large Enclave and the tiny new Encore. Based on the Euro-only Chevy Trailblazer.

Accord Coupe: I remember when the Accord was just slightly larger than the Civic and the Civic was actually smaller than today's Fit. This would be a nice 3-door hatchback with good visibility and high-tech lightweight engines, exactly what Honda USED to be.

Rolls Royce Phantom Shooting Brake: Why? Because you can't get to Gstaad with your skis and eighteen pieces of Gucci luggage in any greater luxurious manner. I gave it a very glassy greenhouse, in direct opposition to the Phantom sedan and coupe's closed rear quarters. The angle of the greenhouse is evocative of the two-tone paint breaks of the classic Phantoms of the '50s and '60s.

Editor-in-Chief's Note: Our "quick take" this week has us in the GMC Terrain. I'll give the GMC Terrain props on its design, because it does look good. Not as good as the Acadia Denali, but it looks well-conceived and it presents nicely, at least from the outside. After that? Not so much. This vehicle seems like it was engineered by committee the moment you set off down the road. Throttle "tip-in" is erratic to the point of being annoying and the engine is full of sound and fury signifying absolutely nothing. I mean n-o-t-h-i-n-g. Lousy power, lousy feel and obnoxious sound, not a good combo in this day and age. It has a 6-speed automatic that seems ancient in its feel and delivery, just as I found the entire vehicle to be - ancient and from another era. I put a fair amount of miles on the Terrain and I guess to be kind, if you drive around town at the normal, mindless, three-tenths, then it will work just fine for your needs. But if you're interested in the act of driving at all, walk away. GM engineering and product development have demonstrated repeatedly of late that they are capable of doing outstanding work. The GMC Terrain certainly doesn't qualify as such by any stretch of the imagination. -PMD

2012 GMC Terrain AWD SLT-2: $36,495 ($33,010.00 Base Price; Carbon Black Metallic, $195; Jet Black interior; 3.0-liter DOHC SIDI V6, $1,500; 6-speed automatic; Cargo Package - Convenience net, trunk, rear security cargo cover, luggage rack center rails - $235; Trailering Package, $350; Forward collision alert and lane departure warning, $295; GMC Intellilink hands-free smart phone integration with bluetooth audio streaming and voice activated audio controls, $100; Destination charge, $810)

We introduce a new dimension to our "Quick Take" auto reviews this week by discussing brand image (below). In which we will ask a simple question: Does the vehicle we're driving adhere to the stated image of the brand? Or is it just a placeholder until they figure it out? We will be very clear as to what we think here, unlike some of the manufacturers in question who aren't quite sure as to who they are and what they stand for. - PMD

Adherence to Brand Image: Nonexistent. What brand image? Is GMC "Professional Grade" - ? To whom exactly? I guess it's better than "The-Trucks-For-Buick-Pontiac-Cadillac-Dealers-to-sell-instead-of-Chevys," which was the GMC operating premise for years inside the GM "system" but beyond that, I don't get it. As long as Cadillac keeps building luxury crossovers and SUVs, and GMC keeps bumping up against them with their lineup of luxury crossovers and SUVs in the market, then what's the point? Especially when Cadillac is about to bring to market their version of GM's "Lambda" architecture. GM consolidated divisions during the bankruptcy to make sense and save money and to keep its divisions from bumping up against themselves in the market. The government overlords wanted to kill GMC but GM showed them the profit numbers generated by it so it survived to live to fight another day. But that doesn't means it makes sense brand-wise or fits into the GM divisional structure, let alone the wider market. Right now, GMC exists in a vacuum with a murky brand image and a lame-ass advertising tagline. Not Good doesn't even begin to cover it. - PMD