ON THE TABLE

December 15, 2010

HAPPY HOLIDAYS!

Enjoy our year-end issue, and we'll see you back here on January 5, 2011!

  GM. General Motors announced that 52 percent of its worldwide facilities are now landfill-free, meaning all waste generated from normal operations is reused, recycled or converted to energy. The company now has 76 landfill-free facilities, achieving a global operations commitment established in 2008 to convert 50 percent of its 145 plants to landfill-free status by the end of 2010. The company also announced that the General Motors Foundation will donate $27.1 million to the United Way for Southeastern Michigan to create Networks of Excellence from five existing area high schools with the goals of dramatically increasing graduation rates and ultimately rebuilding the area’s skilled workforce. The money, which is the largest donation in the 34-year history of the GM Foundation, is aimed at reducing the nearly 50 percent dropout rate in parts of Metro Detroit where the most manufacturing jobs have been lost in recent years. “The students we are trying to reach are the future,” said GM North America President and GM Foundation Board member Mark Reuss, who announced the donation on Friday at Cody High School in Detroit. “The GM Foundation can make a difference and helping create Networks of Excellence is a proven way to do it.” Nice job on all counts.

The following statement is from Ed Welburn, GM Vice president of Global Design, on the passing of Charles M. "Chuck" Jordan, GM's Vice President of Design from 1986 - 1992: "Chuck Jordan was the person who hired me as an intern in 1971 while he was working for Bill Mitchell, and I will always be appreciative of the opportunity he gave me to join GM’s Design Organization. Chuck was always involved in the hiring of talented, young designers, and he took great interest in their growth and development. He was a strong creative force at GM Design, and a passionate leader. It always felt as if every new project he was leading represented a new mountain to climb, and was a fresh opportunity to create new trends and statements in automotive design. He had the charisma and passion of few others in the industry. Most people associate Chuck Jordan with very tailored and crisp designs of Cadillac and Corvette automobiles, but Chuck also had a passion for truck design and created some of GM’s most significant concept and production trucks of the 1950s. More recently, I’m glad that Chuck had an opportunity to visit GM Design just this past summer while he was back in the Detroit area for the Meadow Brook Concours d’Elegance. He spent hours touring our Design Center in Warren and talking with our design staff. It was a wonderful to have him back in the place in which he helped create such a rich legacy.” Jordan, 83, was the fourth man elected to the position of vice president of the General Motors Design Staff.

(GM)
In 1949, Chuck Jordan joined the GM Styling Staff as a junior engineer. He spent the 1950s in a number of different studios and positions at Design. He then moved to the advanced studio, where he designed a couple of notable “Motorama” dream cars, such as the Cameo show truck for 1955 and the Buick Centurion for 1956 (above).

 Venezuela's Car Enthusiasts. In Simon Romero's report from Caracas, Venezuela, for the the New York Times, enthusiasm for American cars thrives despite the Venezuelan government's strident anti-American rhetoric and incendiary actions. But even though Hugo Chavez may wield his inflammatory axe against the U.S., it counts for exactly zero on the streets of Caracas. Due to an incredible subsidy from the Venezuelan government that Chavez is apparently powerless to do anything about, Venezuela's citizens pay 10 cents a gallon for fuel, by far the cheapest in the world. And funky old American cars reign supreme. “We like our cars to be like tanks in this country, meaning they should be huge, comfortable and preferably manufactured in the United States,” Miguel Delgado, 52, a mechanic in Los Frailes, said to the Times. “I love my Fairlane precisely because it is American,” said Freddy Gómez, 54 to the Times, a deliveryman in this city’s gritty Boleita district. He drives a red 1974 Ford Fairlane with a decal on the rear window showing a mathematical equation involving the Ford logo plus a bottle of spirits plus a female figure. The sum: a couple in an amorous embrace. "When people see me driving my Fairlane, they know I’m a man of style,” he told the Times. “This car is the F-16 of the highways, friend.” But our AE Quote of the Week goes to Oswaldo Valdes, who told the Times: “I find it hard to believe that the Americans would let Pontiac expire like that,” said Valdes, 21, a university student who owns a 1970 Pontiac Grand Prix. “In this country, this great automobile has decades of life ahead of it.” Amen brother, amen.

Yo. Yo! Yo? Mikhail Prokhorov, the 6'-8" Russian billionaire who recently bought the New Jersey Nets NBA franchise, introduced  Russia’s first gas-electric hybrid car called the Yo - for the Russian letter “ë” - yesterday in Moscow. Two electric motors propel the Yo, while a small on-board petroleum engine that runs nearly constantly can burn either gasoline or natural gas and while generating the electricity needed. The generator in the Yo either powers the motors directly or fills a bank of capacitors that can hold only a small charge, according to media sources. Prokhorov expects the Yo to go on sale in Russia in mid-2012 (right) and cost about $14,500. The Yo claims to get 67 mpg, have a top speed of 80 miles per hour and a range of 680 miles - if both its natural gas and gasoline tanks are filled. Now this is where it gets kinda funky. The fuel economy is said to be the result of the Yo's, how shall we say, "unusual" engine, an old-school Soviet design where the pistons move in a circular motion. This rotary vane engine was used sparingly in Germany in the 1930s apparently, but was largely forgotten, except in the Soviet Union. A team of 40 Scientists honed it at a secretive laboratory in the Siberian city Novosibirsk (why is it always a "secretive laboratory" in Siberia? Just askin'), Prokhorov said, but the design was never brought forth for public consumption. Until now. Mr. Prokhorov is the sole money guy behind the project (to the tune of $200 million) and his new Russian company - which will also manufacture the Yo - will be called e-Auto. “Don’t forget that in Russia we were the first to put man in space,” Mr. Prokhorov said at the media event where three Yo prototypes - a coupe, a hatchback and a delivery truck - were unveiled. “Unfortunately, in the last 50 years, we are playing from behind a little bit.” Uh-huh, just a bit. We'llbelieveitwhenweseeit.com.

The Big Ten. Editor-in-Chief's Note: Okay, so this is an out-of-category comment, but the brainiac overlords of the Big Ten, led by Chief Bonehead - aka commissioner Jim Delany - have just come up with the dumbest names in all of sports for their two new divisions. Remember, folks, this is the conference that hasn't been made up of just ten teams in years, and now it has 12. Iowa, Michigan, Michigan State, Minnesota, Nebraska and Northwestern will compose the "Legends" division, while Illinois, Indiana, Ohio State, Penn State, Purdue and Wisconsin will be in the "Leaders" division. "What we've tried to do here is not get stuck in the past but build off the past, to pivot off the past and recognize the past but also to think in new ways, in innovative ways and to move forward," Big Ten commissioner Jim Delany said on a conference call following the announcement Monday. "We've tried to blend a recognition of where we've come from with the possibilities of continuing to aspire to build great lives for future leaders." Huh? What a pretentious bunch of bullshit that is. This is the Big Ten, you idiots. Bo and Woody. Three yards and a cloud of dust. Football on crisp fall days, all that good stuff. What the hell does "Legends" and "Leaders" have to do with any of that? Instead it sounds like names assigned to business employee teams at a tedious "kumbaya" team-building off-site. And here we thought the idiots who run the NCAA had cornered the market on stupid. What a joke. - PMD

(Honda)
Okay, kids, you're on the clock. Maligned for their lack of imagination and design spark, Honda will hint at the design direction of the ninth-generation 2012 Civic at the Detroit Auto Show in January with this Civic Concept. As renderings go, the new Civic looks to be more aerodynamic and emotionally compelling, but we'll just have to see about that. The all-new 2012 Civic will hit showrooms next spring.

(GM)
GM previewed the GMC Sierra All Terrain HD concept as "an exploration of heavy-duty truck capability combined with greater off-road versatility." The vehicle, which will be formally unveiled at the 2011 Detroit Auto Show, features a more aggressive exterior design, beefed-up all-terrain suspension and "premium details expected of a GMC." The All Terrain HD concept starts with a new 2011 Sierra HD underneath and goes on from there with with a modified, production-based 4WD chassis and the Duramax diesel/Allison 1000 six-speed powertrain. "The enhanced suspension and unique body dimensions, including increased ground clearance and wider track, as well as greater approach/departure angles, deliver off-road capability while maintaining HD levels of payload and trailering capacity, " according to GMC. Other details: Wider, 73-inch (1,853 mm) track for greater stability, approximately 3 inches (76 mm) greater ground clearance, custom front upper and lower control arms, specially constructed Fox off-road shocks with remote fluid reservoirs (integrated in the wheel house liners), front and rear jounce shocks, electronic front stabilizer bar disconnection, 35-inch-tall BFGoodrich KM2 “mud terrain” tires mounted on 20-inch machined aluminum wheels and full composite underbody protection. So, it's basically GMC's take on a HD super truck - heavily-influenced by the Ford Raptor - while telegraphing GMC's next-generation design direction, or something like that.

(Photos courtesy of Ford)
The new Ford C-MAX is part of the company’s global small vehicle strategy that will deliver at least 10 vehicles – and 2 million vehicles annually – from a single C-vehicle platform (Focus) by 2012. This new compact family vehicle - think Mazda5 for size comparisons - will feature an exclusive hands-free power-operated rear lift gate, a 5+2 seating configuration with five seats in the main cabin and two smaller seats in the third row, twin sliding doors and active park assist, an advanced new system that automatically steers the vehicle into parallel parking spaces, and more. The C-MAX base engine is Ford's 2.5-liter iVCT I-4. The big news, however, is that the C-MAX will be available with the first application of the all-new, all-aluminum, direct injected, low-inertia turbocharged, twin independent variable camshaft timing (Ti-VCT) 1.6-liter Ford EcoBoost engine in North America. Both engines are mated to Ford’s 6F35 automatic six-speed transmission. “The scale and flexibility of our global new C-vehicle platform enables us to develop distinct vehicles including C-MAX,” said Derrick Kuzak, Ford group vice president of Global Product Development. “It’s a ‘white space’ vehicle here in North America – a new choice – and we believe buyers will appreciate the technology, convenience and functionality C-MAX packs into a neat package.” The C-MAX will be available late next year.

(Photos courtesy of Mercedes-Benz)
A freshened 2012 Mercedes-Benz C-Class sedan is on the horizon. The front and rear styling has been tweaked, the interior has a distinctive new I.P. including a high-resolution color display and fuel efficiency has been improved by as much as 15 percent thanks to new direct-injection engines and the redesigned 7-speed automatic transmission. Five new driver assistance systems ranging from the ATTENTION ASSIST drowsiness detection system through to the Blind Spot Assist are now available in the C-Class lineup, and new- generation telematics offer new infotainment and navigation features. Mercedes says that a total of more than 2,000 new parts distinguish the newest generation of the C-Class from its predecessor. The U.S. market introduction is scheduled for summer 2011.

BEST OF ON THE TABLE 2010

Maybe he was the second coming of Pecos Bill, especially when compared to “Lieutenant Dan.” GM PR's orchestrated charm offensive for GM's chairman and acting CEO – “Big Ed” Whitacre - was turned up a few notches in the Detroit Free Press.  The Tim Higgins cover story stopped short of saying that "Big Ed" lassoed a tornado with a rattle snake in his spare time, but it was filled with enough "aw, shucks" anecdotes from his AT&T stint by the end of the story that you couldn't help but get the distinct impression that "Big Ed" was a damn nice guy and that this industry was damn lucky to have him too.. (1/13/10)

From the “When You Got Nothin’, You Got Nothin’ To Lose” File. Chrysler threw in a Maserati Spyder, a Fiat 500 Abarth, a Fiat 500 Electric and a Ferrari 599XX race car into the middle of their display at Cobo Hall. It not only didn’t make any sense, it only served to underline the extreme apples and oranges nature of this enterprise from the get-go. At least the comely eye candy models who were flown in specially from Europe for the occasion were show-stoppers. (1/13/10)

The “Frankly, My Dear, I don’t Give a Damn” Award went to the Bentley Mulsanne. We couldn’t help it, because from its “Gatling Gun” LED headlights to its beyond-category sumptuous interior, if you absolutely, positively need the latest rolling expression of “fuck you” money, the Mulsanne is your ride. (1/13/10)

Here's an idea, Mr. Li: Sit down and shut up, Part I. Henry Li, the general manager of BYD's auto export division said the company was going to begin selling an electric car in California by the end of this year. Yeah, now there's a way to instill confidence in the future credibility of Chinese automakers in the U.S. No crash testing requirements completed. Check. No dealers to speak of. Check. A firm grip on well, nothin'. Check. Warren Buffet or no Warren Buffet, you're more likely to see the debut of Fu-King Motors at the 2011 Detroit Auto Show than you'll see BYD Auto here by the end of the year. (1/13/10)

It's a Craptastic World After All. The Acura (ZDX), BMW (5 Series GT) and Honda (Crosstour) demonstrated that the degradation of mainstream automotive design is well under way. If it was up to us we'd take all of those vehicles by crane out of Cobo Hall and dump them in the Detroit River. (1/13/10)

From “There’s A Sucker Born Every Minute” File. Publisher’s Note: Well, "Ol' Shel' " – Carroll Shelby - was at it again, this time with a modern take on the classic GT350 Mustang. Never one to miss wringing out an extra buck from a willing group of sycophant fans who think they're somehow getting a piece of the legend when all they're really doing is lining his pockets with "stupid" money, Shelby announced a "new" GT350 Mustang based on the 2011 Mustang GT complete with modified bodywork, the obligatory white with blue racing stripes paint motif, and a list of suspension and brake modifications - along with a supercharger atop Ford's new 412HP 5.0-liter V8 - which is said to deliver around 500HP. For this you can pay $33,995 to Shelby American, which is over and above the cost of your new 2011 Mustang GT, which will be $30,000+. Amy Boylan, president of Shelby American, told Chris Woodyard in USA Today that, "This car is our most radically designed. We don't take it apart and slap (new parts) on. We've done a complete body change." A complete body change? Right. No, what they've done is exactly what they've always done in the modern, "Hi, I'm Carroll Shelby and if y'all are stupid enough to keep handing me money I'm gonna keep building stuff designed to lighten your wallets" era, and that is to take apart a Mustang and slap some new parts on it and call it good. For one fleeting moment in time Shelby and his band of merry men - some of the most talented, creative and dedicated people in racing history - stood the racing world on its ear in the 60s with the famed Cobra, Cobra Daytona Coupe and the Shelby Mustang. Unfortunately ever since then, or at least since Shelby discovered that he could double-down on his legacy - even though he turned his back on that legacy repeatedly in the years immediately following those glory days - Shelby has been a revenue generatin' caricature, a man possessed with chasing every last buck that he can get his hands on, no matter how vacuous and silly it gets. Ironically, Shelby told Woodyard, "I still have the passion to do it, but sometimes I get discouraged with interference from lawyers and accountants." Really? And this from a guy who has kept lawyers busy for decades chasing down anyone who was forward-thinking enough to understand what the Cobra was and what it meant to American racing history, when Shelby himself was slow on the uptake and late to the realization party. I will always cherish that fleeting moment in time when a bunch of California hot-rodders came together and made racing history. But the Shelby legacy since then? Not. So. Much. – PMD (1/20/10)

Call us crazy, but we have one word for Mr. Jacoby: Notgonnahappen.com. Stefan Jacoby, the CEO of VW Group of America, said in a speech that he expected VW sales to more than double after 2011 to around 450,000 units. This will happen, according to Jacoby, due to a redesigned Jetta and Touareg, a new New Beetle, and a new mid-sized sedan that will be built in its new Tennessee plant in late 2011 (hopefully). Really? For the record VW sold 213,454 vehicles in the U.S. in 2009. Jacoby also expects VW to be selling 800,000 units a year here by 2018. Huh? On the one hand there's something eminently likable about a guy who shoots for the stars. On the other hand Jacoby is teetering on the far edges of delusional thinking if he actually believes that some magic switch is going to go off and that VW sales will double in this country after 24 months. And don't even get us started on that 2018 number. (Jacoby was recruited to run Volvo later in the year.) (1/20/10)

Uh, you might want to re-think that, Ralph. Editor-in-Chief's Note: Ralph Gilles, the CEO of the Dodge brand and Chrysler Group's design chief said in a speech last week in Detroit that the ability to add more technology in vehicles will separate the winners from the losers in the car business going forward. Gilles even went so far as to say, "Technology is going to be the trump card -- absolutely, without question ... making the active interface the reason people buy a car in the future." He also said only 5 percent of the millennial generation cares about styling. Why is that, Ralph? Maybe it's because of the rise of the Craptastic Movement in the design field - which you contributed to on more than one occasion, by the way - that's the real problem. Design will be the Ultimate Initial Product Differentiator for the foreseeable future. I don't care how much technology and interfacing is going on in a vehicle, if it doesn't draw people in at first glance with distinctive design, it's not going to matter how much connectivity is in it. – PMD (1/20/10)

We'll just file this story under whogivesashit.com. Japan, Inc. announced that it would open its "cash for clunkers" program to the U.S. domestic automakers. The Japanese Embassy, under intense pressure from Congress, defended its program as nondiscriminatory but agreed to allow Detroit's automakers to take part. Critics of the Japanese program suggested that while U.S. vehicles had been shut out of Japan's "clunkers" program, Japanese brands grabbed 319,300 out of a total of 677,000 in sales in the $3 billion U.S. "cash for clunkers" program last year. But in the overall scheme of things the government of Japan has done everything in their power to prevent U.S. automakers from gaining a foothold in their market for decades. And this futile gesture wouldn't make one damn bit of difference on any level anyway. (1/20/10)

There’s being upside down, and then there’s being upside down. Editor’s Note: Speaking of Maserati, one of our favorite pastimes here at AE is to peruse the ads on Swap-a-Lease. If you're down about being upside-down in your lease, take a look at some of the ones we've found this week. How about 29 months left on a 2009 Maserati GranTurismo for $3085 per month? Or 31 months on a 2007 911 Turbo for $2002 per month? Or 22 months on a 2007 Aston Martin V8 Vantage for $2147 per month? Or our favorite - 27 months on a 2007 Rolls-Royce Phantom for $5787 per month. But hey, with only 5,082 miles on it, there are still nearly 120,000 miles left on the lease - so there's that anyway! –WG (1/20/10)

Just off the tops of our heads, this isn’t going so well, is it? Toyota was forced by the U.S. government to take the drastic and unprecedented step of suspending U.S. sales of eight recalled vehicle models to fix accelerator pedals that stick. Toyota also halted production at five manufacturing facilities - in Indiana, Kentucky, Texas and Canada - for the week of Feb. 1 "to assess and coordinate activities." 2.3 million vehicles were involved in the recall. The negativity associated with this move will haunt Toyota for years to come and it qualifies as a PR nightmare of the first degree for the formerly bullet-proof automaker. (1/27/10)

From the "Dicks We Have Known" File. The last time we checked in with Tom Friedman, the infamous New York Times columnist and High Priest of the Green Movement - who repeatedly went on a witch hunt against GM and the rest of the domestic auto industry for the unforgivable sin of not being "green" enough (at least to his make-it-up-as-he-went-along standards), and other egregious atrocities against humanity - he was suggesting that the American automobile industry should cease to exist and that the United States would be much better off if Toyota became the sole maker of vehicles available here. Because after all, Toyota was just so darn good and green and wonderful. We said it then and we'll say it again, Friedman is a two-bit grandstanding blow hard who doesn't have the first clue as to what he's talking about when it comes to anything to do with cars and the automobile industry - or reality for that matter - and he and his Shiny Happy acolyte-zealots in California and Washington - and the New York Times, of course - can now go back over in the corner, sit down, and shut the fuck up. (1/27/10)

Maybe you ought to take a break from the biz for awhile, after all, if you can't write anything good about Toyota, what are you guys going to write about? Wait a minute, didn’t you guys (from Consumer Reports) basically forge your influence over the domestic automobile industry by holding up Toyota as an example of everything good and righteous and great about quality automobiles and regularly took great pleasure in reminding everyone of that fact - especially the Detroit automakers - whom you relentlessly took pot shots at and trashed with glee every chance you got? Yeah, we thought so. (1/27/10)

You just can't make this shit up, folks. So let's get this straight: The U.S. Treasury gives GM a pile of money, then they give GM another stack of cash so that it can look like they're paying the U.S. Treasury back some of the original pile, so that the U.S. Treasury's "auto czar" - Ron Bloom - and the Obama administration, can then shout from the rooftops about the GM effort to lock in a $5.7-billion repayment of a government loan for June, even though GM was already required to pay back the loan with money from the government. Nicely done. (1/27/10)

Couldn't you people muster up at least a shred of shame? The Little Caesar's Pizza TV commercial that ripped-off the Ford F-150 TV campaign - right down to the color and style of the graphics - was simply reprehensible. We know original thinking is in short supply in this business these days, but really? (1/27/10)

Not. So. Much. It was good to see that The Toyota Times, aka The New York Times was comfortable, as always, in its role as the official apologist house organ of Toyota. The last bastion of Toyota=Good, Detroit=Bad cheerleading in the media had been hard at it again with a series of sugar-coated stories underselling the seriousness and scope of the Toyota recall issue, not to mention being woefully late with its coverage of the story in its entirety. You don't even have to read between the lines - the blatantly biased reporting by one so-called journalist in particular spoke for itself - to see that The Times viewed this as a mere blip on Toyota's radar screen and that it was only a matter of time before Toyota returned to its rightful place as the unquestioned global leader of the automobile industry and everything that was good and right and green with the world. (2/3/10)

Ouch, Baby. A KelleyBlueBook.com study - which surveyed over 400 in-market car shoppers from Jan. 29 to Feb. 1 - showed that consideration of the Toyota brand dropped almost 50 percent, from 29 percent prior to the recall to 18 percent afterward. As first reported by AdAge, the study found that consideration and interest in Toyota vehicles had plummeted dramatically since the announcement of its series of massive recalls. More than 20 percent of consumers who said they were considering a Toyota for their next vehicle before the recall now had deleted the brand from their shopping lists, according to the study. Even more sobering? The automaker's overall brand consideration dropped to third place behind Ford - which now holds the top spot - and Chevrolet. (2/3/10)

Oh, and by the way, is this guy the very best we can come up with for that post at this very moment in time? How about no? Transportation Secretary Ray LaHood urged Toyota owners to stop driving the recalled Toyota models in comments before a House appropriations hearing, and then afterwards reversed himself saying he "misspoke." Uh, nicely done, Ray. (2/3/10)

Oh, really? James P. Womack, the Toyota author/aficionado/homer told The New York Times (of course) that, “People forget about a lot of things, betting against Toyota has been a good way to lose money.” And that was our AE Quote of the Week, Part I. (2/3/10)

Our refreshingly honest AE Quote of the Week, Part II, went to Chris Jensen, who writes car reviews for The New York Times (and is definitely not a fan of The Autoextremist). Writing about the new Land Rover LR4 he had this to say: "I AM old and comfortably set in my ways, so the 2010 Land Rover LR4 presents a dilemma. I like vehicles that are small, cheap, practical and interesting to drive. Think Honda Fit. So I find it puzzling to the point of distress that I genuinely like the new LR4. It is big, heavy and fast. And it is capable of the kind of amazing off-road feats that I would rarely engage in. Its fuel economy is so bad it could qualify for the Oil Company Association’s 'Guzzler Truck of the Year,' if there were such an association or award. But, hey, I like it..." (2/3/10)

Man’s Last Stand. We praised the work of Wieden+Kennedy - Dodge's new ad agency - on behalf of the Dodge Charger before, and during last February's Super Bowl broadcast, Dodge unveiled the ad agency's latest TV commercial as part of that same campaign entitled "Man's Last Stand." Once again using the droll voiceover stylings of Michael C. Hall of "Dexter" fame, the spot presents a series of men blankly staring at the camera as Hall reels off a litany of things that he will do to keep his woman happy, as long as he gets to drive the car he wants to drive. Savor the perfectly calculated words (below).

I will get up and walk the dog at 6:30AM.

I will eat some fruit as part of my breakfast.

I will shave.

I will clean the sink after I shave.

I will be at work by 8:00AM.

I will sit through two-hour meetings.

I will say yes when you want me to say yes.

I will be quiet when you don't want to hear me say no.

I will take your call.

I will listen to your opinion of my friends.

I will listen to your friends' opinions of my friends.

I will be civil to your mother.

I will put the seat down.

I will separate the recycling.

I will carry your lip balm.

I will watch your Vampire TV shows with you.

I will take my socks off before getting into bed.

I will put my underwear in the basket.

And because I do this...

...I will drive the car I want to drive.

Charger.

Man's Last Stand.

(2/10/10)

Yeah, we fucked it up. Toyota President Akio Toyoda finally admitted what others had been saying for months: the company's obsession with eclipsing GM as the world’s largest automaker - and its corresponding maniacal rate of expansion - caused them to take their eye off of the ball, which then led to the recall mess they find themselves in today. Toyoda promised an all-out push to restore Toyota's quality performance and its reputation. (2/17/10)

Oh, Just Shut The Fuck Up, Part I. Peter Arnell, the disgraced design/marketing guru/shameless self-promoter is out to save Thailand. Yes, Thailand. According to a report by AdAge's Natalie Zmuda, Arnell is spouting off to The Nation that he will be presenting a new promotional campaign to the Thailand government this week as his way of giving back to a country that he fell in love with after a 12-day sojourn there last December. Or is it because his reputation is now so shot in this country he had to look elsewhere? Arnell tells the magazine that he can "make this place famous for what it's famous for, instead of what we think it's famous for." So you mean he's going to leave out the rampant corruption, unrest and political turmoil part? We guess so, because Arnell gushed to The Nation that Thailand "is a sensible, harmonious, calm, peaceful and respectful country driven by humanity and a soulfulness, unlike any other place in the world." Uh-oh, memo to the Thailand government: Duck and cover, boys and girls, because by the time Arnell gets through you'll be out five million bucks and left with an abstract fern logo and the catch phrase, "Thailand: Harmony for your soul." Ugh. And it gets worse, because Arnell told The Nation that he "swears he could single-handedly redeem" Toyota. Oh, that's a brilliant idea. We figure Arnell is the only guy who could turn a historic, defining crisis for the company into an unmitigated disaster and total annihilation overnight. Talk about train wrecks. (2/17/10)

From the "What Did You Know And When Did You Know It" File, Jim Lentz, the president of Toyota Motor Sales, U.S.A. kinda-sorta admitted to Energy and Commerce Committee Chairman Henry Waxman, D-Calif. that the electronic systems in Toyotas couldn't be totally ruled out as the cause of unintended acceleration. This after Toyota has insisted for months that it's a mechanical or floor mat issue. Oops. (2/24/10)

Oh, what a feeling? Welcome to The Jungle, Akio Toyoda, and here you thought those prick managers that lorded over you while growing up through the company were tough. After saying how sorry you are in about 20 different ways from Sunday get ready for a full-on, rompin' stompin' beat-down from our so-called "esteemed" grandstanding, TV-time-hawking, ball-busting, insufferable representatives, aka The Hacks on the Potomac. (2/24/10)

We're just sayin' is all. Speaking of that resident legislative irritant from the state of California (there are so many we've lost track), isn't it remarkable how Henry Waxman looks so much like Max Schreck, who starred as the vampire Count Orlock in the 1922 film release, Nosferatu?

(2/24/10) 

Uh, do ya think? Our AE Quote of the Week went to poor Jim Lentz of Toyota when he said, "We stubbed our toe. We lost sight of the customers." (2/24/10)

Oh, Just Shut The Fuck Up, Part II. Rep. Bobby Rush, D-Ill referred to Toyotas as "literal killing machines," thus burnishing his reputation for being a consummate Jack Ass. (2/24/10)

(Photo courtesy of Porsche)

Just when you think the money "pirates" have warped Porsche's collective corporate brain and destroyed its soul for good, Porsche unveils something so totally Porsche - the good Porsche - that it makes your knees buckle. On the eve of the Geneva Motor Show, Porsche unveiled - in their words - "an ultra-efficient, low-emission, mid-engine super sports car featuring hybrid and electric drive technology." The mid-engine Porsche 918 Spyder plug-in hybrid concept combines "Porsche’s Intelligent Performance philosophy with the high-technology from motorsport, with classic but modern design to make a truly convincing statement." Said to deliver an emission level of just 70 grams of CO2 per kilometer on fuel consumption of only three liters/100 kilometers (equal to approximately 78 mpg U.S.), the 918 is intended to offer the performance of a super sports car with numbers that will make you sit up and take notice: 0 to 100 km/h in just under 3.2 seconds, top speed of 320 km/h (198 mph), and a lap time on the Nordschleife of Nürburgring in less than 7 minutes 30 seconds, faster than even the Porsche Carrera GT, according to Porsche. The 918 Spyder is powered by a high-revving 500HP+ V8 with a maximum engine speed of 9,200 rpm – as well as electric motors on the front and rear axle with overall mechanical output of 218 horsepower (160 kW). (3/3/10)

It seems that Bush League Bullshit is Bush League Bullshit no matter what the language. Toyota took a gratuitous shot against the Detroit automakers concerning their quality performance - or lack of same - during the hearings in Washington. Toyota was trying to deflect attention away from its burgeoning quality-safety issues by throwing the Detroit automakers under the bus. Nicely done. (3/10/10)

Hey, Dieter, who else you got? That's what we thought. You got nothin'. Dieter Zetsche, Daimler’s CEO, insisted that the elevation of Wolfgang Bernhard to Daimler's management board - and his No. 2 for all intents and purposes - does not mean that Bernhard has the inside track to be his successor. Right. (3/10/10)

Uh-oh. Motor Trend declared that "Buick is Back!" on its April cover. (3/10/10)

Gee, thanks, we all feel better now somehow. Yukio Hotoyama, the Japanese Prime Minister, tells Akio Toyoda in a 20-minute meeting that he would like Toyota "...to continue to work to improve its trust." (3/10/10)

From “There’s A Sucker Born Every Minute” File, Part II. We received a press release announcing that a new organic premium extra virgin olive oil from Shelby Signature Foods, founded by Carroll Shelby, chairman of Carroll Shelby International Inc., was now available at select retail stores in the USA and through IDEA Foods, Inc.  A portion of sales will benefit charity. “Our organic olive oil has a wonderful flavor that is superior to most anything else on the market,” said Mr. Shelby.  “And the benefits of using it instead of traditional butter or margarine make it a clear cut favorite for people who want to lead a smart, healthy lifestyle.” (3/10/10)

In other words: Boo. Fucking. Hoo. Paul Atkinson, the leader of Toyota's U.S. dealer council accused GM of using "taxpayer dollars to fund… a nationwide predatory adver­tising campaign.” Atkinson had this to say about it: “It is outrageous that GM is using our taxpayer dollars against us, making me and oth­er Toyota dealers pay to un­dermine our own businesses.” And that was our AE Quote of the Week but, oh really, Atkinson? This after you and your cronies have wallowed in profits for years that were blatantly fueled by Japan Inc.'s predatory money manipulation policies, which gave you and your fellow Toyota dealers advantages of hundreds and even thousands of dollars per vehicle in this market over the U.S. automakers before your vehicles even hit the ground? In case you haven't noticed, Atkinson, this is war. And if GM wants to mess your shit up in the market while you're down, well, pal, that's just the cost of doing business in the big city right now. (3/10/10)

David Bazzetta. He began blowing the whistle nine years ago that Daimler Chrysler execs in Germany were paying bribes for all kinds of reasons - including to Saddam Hussein's Iraq and North Korea - with cars, cash and other assorted  prizes and favors between 1998 and 2008, a clear violation of U.S. law. For his trouble he got fired, but Daimler ended up appearing in a U.S. Federal court in Washington, D.C., to face the charges, with reports that the company will have to fork over $185 million to settle the charges. (3/24/10)

Cosmic Ray conspiracy theories makes great copy though, we'll grant you that. Electronic interference from cosmic rays? It's the new buzz theory explaining all of the unintended acceleration cases cropping up all of a sudden. We've joked about sun spots affecting car sales over the years here at AE, but cosmic rays? Really? Riddle us this, Batman: How come there have been zero reports of unintended acceleration in manual shift cars? Uh-huh, that's what we thought too. Repeat after us, it's driver error, first and foremost. (3/24/10)

Hoosier insanity. Carbon Motors, the private company in Connersville, Indiana - which is planning to begin building and selling a custom designed police vehicle called the Carbon E7 in 2013 - made a deal with BMW to buy more than 240,000 6-cylinder diesel engines. But even though the company claims it has 350 advance orders, it needs $310 million from the Energy Department's $25 billion advanced technology vehicle fund to get the whole thing off the ground. (3/24/10)

That's the way it's supposed to work, kids, in case you forgot. This just in: Alan Mulally does outstanding work - as advertised - and gets paid well for it. (3/24/10)

Thanks, Delta, you well and truly suck. This is an inside-baseball-type item, only appropriate for people who live around here and have to fly in and out of Detroit's Metro airport. We have suffered through myriad changes at our airport - which was finally fixed and now is one of the best - and then we had to endure the excruciating growing pains of Northwest airlines as they slowly but surely became a real airline. But damn, just when Northwest was finally getting their proverbial shit together, Delta comes along and buys Northwest and wrecks everything positive that NWA had become, setting back airline quality around here by at least a decade. Horrendous airfares, a reduced number of flights (wait a minute, aren't "hubs" supposed to provide more flight options?), and by far the worst airline website on the face of the earth, bar none. These guys have managed to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory and blowed it up real good. (3/24/10)

(GM)
This is what GM says: "The EN-V, which is short for Electric Networked-Vehicle, maintains the core principle of personal mobility - freedom - while helping remove the motor vehicle from the environmental debate and redefining design leadership. EN-V is a two-seat electric vehicle that was designed to alleviate concerns surrounding traffic congestion, parking availability, air quality and affordability for tomorrow's cities. The Jiao (Pride) model (above) was unveiled today in Shanghai alongside Xiao (Laugh) and Maio (Magic). They represent three different characteristics which emphasize that future transportation can be fun." This is what we say: "You have to be frickin’ kidding." (3/24/10)

Will there be a "diversionary blip" explanation too? Or will you finally just admit that you blew it, Big Time? Publisher's Note: BMW, the German purveyors of "Joy" are taking great pains (at least here in the U.S.) to clarify that the "Joy" advertising campaign is a mere diversionary blip on the radar screen and that they haven't walked away from "The Ultimate Driving Machine." Uh, sorry, that doesn't wash. As a matter of fact it smacks of first degree Bush League Bullshit to me. BMW has spent millions on this "blip" of a campaign, and I mean millions. They even have it plastered all over their actual "Ultimate Driving Machines," the Rahal Letterman ALMS GT BMW M3s, which is the "ultimate" insult. Memo to BMW management both here and in Germany: You're blowing it, and no amount of back pedaling at this juncture is going to mask the fact that you're screwing things up royally for one of the great automotive brands. Oh, and by the way, when are you going to try to start spinning the fact that the 5 series GT isn't an unmitigated disaster? What a mess. – PMD ((3/31/10)

Here's an idea, Mr. Li: Sit down and shut up, Part II. Li Shufu, the Geely chairman, just keeps talking. Li told reporters in Beijing that besides spending an additional $900 million to crank-up Volvo (for a total of $2.7 billion), he also suggested that Geely would not seek to impose its own corporate culture on Volvo, preferring to find ways to let the Swedish company exploit its strengths, according to the Associated Press. "Geely is Geely; Volvo is Volvo. Geely will not produce Volvo, and Volvo will not produce Geely," Li said. He also went on to compare Geely's and Volvo's relationship to two brothers, not to a father and son. Alrighty then! (This proved to be total bullshit, in fact.) (3/31/10)

Oh, we get it. Before the shit hit the fan it was about the money. Now, it's all about group hugs and shiny happy people, right? Toyota said it's going to listen better to its U.S. executives and customers in order to ensure bullet-proof quality. Uh-huh. (3/31/10)

It wouldn't be the first time a German car company demonstrated a complete lack of understanding of this market, now would it? Automotive News reports that the U.S. Mercedes-Benz dealers are up in arms over the fact that Mercedes executives in Germany are contemplating a switch of the entire S-class lineup to full hybrids by 2013 globally. Dealers have been vocal against the switch, insisting that it would fundamentally alter the perception of the brand here in this market - essentially crippling the brand image - especially when it came to the premium AMG products. (4/7/10)

"Alright, listen up, people. Our fugitive (customer) has been on the run for ninety minutes. Average foot speed over uneven ground barring injuries is 4 miles-per-hour. That gives us a radius of six miles. What I want from each and every one of you is a hard-target search of every gas station, residence, warehouse, farmhouse, henhouse, outhouse and doghouse in the area. Checkpoints go up at fifteen miles. Your fugitive is anyone who has a license. Go get him." Toyota Division boss Bob Carter tells Mark Rechtin of Automotive News that "Dealers needed a shot in the arm. I have to restore sales, and I have to do it now. I'm not going cold turkey in April." Our AE Quote of the Week came after the 41 percent surge in Toyota sales reported for March due to its "Scorched Earth" incentive push, clearly a desperation play to regain sales and market share and one that isn't going to stop anytime soon. (4/7/10)

R.I.P. Hummer. Editor-in-Chief's Note: The Hummer brand is no more. After a deal with Sichuan Tengzhong Heavy Industrial Machinery fell through - and with GM lacking serious suitors for the brand - Hummer will now cease to exist. One of the most successful product launches in the industry over the last 25 years, Hummer - for a fleeting moment in time at least - swept the rug out from under Jeep and (much to Chrysler's chagrin) became "The Ultimate" off-road vehicle. Propelled by some brilliant advertising by ad shop Modernista out of Boston - including the memorable "The Big Race" spot for the H2 with sound track courtesy of The Who's "Happy Jack" http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bV65Z7p2Xy8 - Hummer immediately became the SUV of the moment. But we know how that all played out. The hand-wringers came out of the woodwork to vilify the brand, which quickly became the whipping boy for the Green Horde across the country, even though around the rest of the globe the Hummer brand still resonates positively today. And even though GM wisely deleted the H1, downplayed the H2 and promoted the more compact H3, rising fuel prices led to a corresponding decline in SUV sales, and by then, GM - hemorrhaging money and juggling too many divisions as it was - simply couldn't give the brand what it so desperately needed, which was a more efficient powertrain for the H3 (turbo-diesels were on deck) and even more important, the financial wherewithal to bring the sensational H4 (shown as the HX concept) to market. (I had the pleasure of getting a deep dive on the right-sized H4 and I am absolutely convinced if GM had been able to bring it to market it would have saved the brand.) So here we are. Another GM brand down the drain, and as far as I'm concerned, another blown opportunity for the company to make money on a segment of the market that no matter how hard the Green Horde might try to kill will - because of new fuel-efficient technologies and lightweight materials - survive well into this century. – PMD (4/7/10)

And the descent into Hell for this business continues as the industry insists on dumbing itself down in the interest of "sharing" and "group hugs." Ford took its burgeoning touchy-feely tendencies to the next step by creating a "Your Ideas" space on its interactive consumer site, The Ford Story (www.thefordstory.com). "Your Ideas" welcomes visitors to submit, share, review and rate each other's automotive feature ideas, and, according to Ford PR is "Ford's latest demonstration of collaborative efforts to engage 'automotive outsiders' to help share ideas, develop the next must-have technologies, and drive the spirit of open innovation." Ugh. (4/14/10)

Let us interpret this award for you. It's a polite way of saying that we have absolutely no fucking clue as to why anyone would buy this rolling monument to tedium to begin with, but as long as you don't have to see yourself coming and going and you don't have to admit to anyone you know that the monstrosity in the parking lot is yours, and versatility is a particular predilection of yours, then have at it. Ward’s Automotive Group announced the winners of its 2010 interiors of the year award, and guess what? The BMW 5-Series GT won for "Design Versatility." (4/14/10)

(Ford)
The Ford Start Concept was revealed at the 2010 Beijing Auto Show on April 22, and it was a preview of what's to come from Ford in terms of future engine development with its groundbreaking 1.0-litre, three-cylinder Ford EcoBoost engine. This technology will come into production in the near future to deliver CO2 emissions of less than 100 g/km while delivering power and drivability comparable to larger four-cylinder engines. (BMW is also moving to three-cylinder engines for its next generation 1 and 3 Series models.) The Ford Start was designed under the tutelage of Freeman Thomas in Ford's California design studio, and it's targeted at the fast-growing mega cities of the future with their heavy traffic and congestion, limited parking and demands for high fuel efficiency by urban dwellers. (4/21/10)

Are you listening Hyundai? Johan de Nysschen, the head of Audi of America tells Automotive News that, "Audi is a brand to value, not a value brand." And that was our AE Quote of the Week. (4/21/10)

Armchair Advertising “Experts.” Editor-in-Chief's Note  I refuse to sit back while the armchair “experts” out there in Internet-land who have felt compelled to comment on the Campbell-Ewald/Chevy situation - like they even have a shred of an idea as to what it’s really like to have worked there, or work on the Chevrolet account, or worked anywhere in the ad business for that matter - spew their relentless, embarrassingly ignorant commentary on this subject unfettered by the least bit of accuracy or fundamental understanding. Suffice to say, if you’ve never played a down in this business you don’t have a fucking clue as to what you’re talking about. The advertising biz is one of the most challenging endeavors you can be involved in - especially in this climate, and in this town, and in the automotive space in particular - so perhaps the more pathetic of you would be better suited to do your verbal jerking-off on the next cool iPad app or some such nonsense. Because when it comes to this subject, you’re totally out of your league. – PMD (4/28/10)

Uh, thanks, Bob, sort of. We can't say we're heartened by one of the parting shots Bob Lutz delivered on the future of automotive transportation in an interview with Automotive News, to wit: "I say this without a great deal of joy, OK, but it's going to be individual transportation pods that are charging in your garage. You hit one of your normal programs, like your 'go to work' program. And the thing goes out into the street -- GPS-guided or wire-guided -- blends into traffic, consolidates, goes to some sort of mass-transit station, converges onto a train and parks itself along with all the other little modules. At some station, your module gets off. There will be no driver involvement. The automobile is a transient stage in the evolution of mankind's ability to transport oneself to any other place rapidly. And, ultimately, as we evolve, I think physical travel will become less and less important. Because if you can bring 95 percent of the experience in virtually -- in, let's say, a 360-degree, full-screen, three-dimensional environment -- you get 95 percent of the experience instantaneously. The need to travel goes down drastically. And ultimately I don't think humanity is going to be able to afford a situation where every citizen of the Earth has a car and is zooming around all over the place on concrete highways. It's just not going to work, and at some point it's going to stop." And that was our very depressing AE Quote of the Week, and a giant downer of Not Good. (4/28/10)

Sounds like you can book it. Porsche said that it had almost 900 potential buyers for its 918 Spyder hybrid, the prototype super sports car with the 500-horsepower V8 engine augmented by electric drive systems. Porsche's development chief, Wolfgang Duerheimer, said in an interview with Bloomberg at the Beijing auto show that, “I'm confident that we will soon reach the threshold of 1,000.” “We need 1,000 seriously interested people to make a sound business case.” (We expect to see the production version of the 918 at the Detroit Auto Show in January, and on-sale by 2013.) (4/28/10)

To say this was long overdue doesn't even come close to covering it. GM finally did what they absolutely needed to do if they were ever going to get out from under their "three steps forward, five back" death march of mediocrity in marketing. GM named Joel Ewanick its top marketing executive today, replacing Susan Docherty. Ewanick had forged his reputation at Hyundai, then he was at Nissan for a literal cup of coffee - six weeks to be exact - before he came to terms with GM. Ewanick, 49, became vice president of U.S. marketing on May 24, with responsibility for all four GM brands - Chevrolet, Buick, GMC and Cadillac. He reports to North American President Mark Reuss. GM had come close to making this deal with Ewanick before but it came apart when GM insisted on keeping the Old Guard in marketing happy. Ewanick is smart enough to know that without the CMO title, and without absolute control over GM's marketing efforts, he wouldn't stand a chance to make an impact, so he walked away. Finally, Mark Reuss stepped in and made it happen. Kudos to Mark Reuss, because GM was at the point of no return unless they fixed marketing. (5/5/10)

Editor-in-Chief's Note: We lost an icon here in the city of Detroit and the State of Michigan with the passing of Ernie Harwell, the great Detroit Tigers broadcaster. Back before TV became so pervasive, nothing was better than listening to Ernie call a Tigers game on a hot summer's night. But "call" isn't a descriptive enough term, however. Not even close in fact. "Call" doesn't do justice to what Ernie did during a glorious career that spanned 55 years. Ernie mesmerized us while he painted vivid pictures with his words, and now those words will be forever locked in our collective memories. – PMD (5/5/10)

Off-base. Editor-in-Chief's Note: Anne Doyle, the former local TV news "personality" and ex-PR hack who once worked at Ford let loose with an embarrassing guest editorial in the Detroit Free Press, equating Susan Docherty's demotion at GM to yet another public humiliation of women executives in the workplace. Huh? No, Docherty was demoted because she represented the highest ranking residual member of the "Old Guard" in GM marketing who finally had to be exited from power if the company was ever going to get out from under its two steps forward, five back dance of mediocrity. People get demoted or fired in this business - and in corporate America - all the time. And it has been a long, long time since a woman executive losing a job has been "news" just because she was a woman - as well it should be. Doyle was way off-base, to put it charitably, but then again she has a new book to promote, so that basically explains everything. – PMD (5/12/10)

We see a train wreck coming. From the "Snake In The Grass" File comes word that the next UAW leader, Bob King, warned automakers at an auto industry conference at the Detroit branch of the Federal Reserve Bank of Chicago that when auto industry sales recover, "Equality of sacrifice, there's got to be equality of gain. It's our responsibility to make sure that in that turnaround, our members are treated fairly." Memo to the Detroit automakers: That's about as benign of a statement that you're ever going to hear come out of King's mouth going forward. Make no mistake, if this guy sees an opportunity to stir shit up, he won't hesitate for a second to make the Detroit automakers' lives miserable as soon as the words "record profits" come across the wire. (5/12/10)

Joel Ewanick. Editor-in-Chief's Note: Well, that didn't take long. Joel Ewanick has yanked the main ad work on the Chevrolet account away from Publicis Groupe's Publicis and assigned it to Omnicom Group's Goodby, Silverstein & Partners. Ewanick had a previous working relationship with Jeff Goodby when he was at Hyundai. Anyone who actually thought "Excellence for All" was going to survive under Ewanick's watch is sadly delusional. And guess what? If I were at Bartle Bogle Hegarty - Cadillac's "new" ad agency - I'd cinch up my chin strap and get ready for a battle, because "Mark of Leadership" isn't long for this world, either. In the immortal words of the Wicked Witch of the West, "Oh what a world, what a world..." – PMD (Ewanick would switch the Cadillac account to Fallon a few weeks later. and "Mark of Leadership" was dead.) (5/19/10)

Maximum Bob, the not-so-friendly Ghost. Yesterday was "Maximum Bob's" last official day at GM, with a round of internal celebrations to mark the occasion. The Detroit News reports that at Bob's Tech Center send-off - which was a rousing success complete with video highlights set to the song "Danger Zone" from the movie "Top Gun" - Bob threatened to come back and kick-ass if GM gets off-course again. "If I see things going wrong, there will be the ghost of Bob Lutz," he said, "and it ain't going to be friendly." (5/19/10)

Shaft. The new book you won't see a review of here? Shift by Peter Arnell, a tome about everything he knows - allegedly - about branding. Ugh. That there are still people out there who buy into this charlatan's relentless charade of self-promotion and rampant, out-of-control egoism is beyond us. Flat-out one of the most insufferable, woefully misguided flim-flam artists of his time, a better title would have been Shaft, for all of the money he's looted from clients over the years. (5/19/10)

Swagger Wagon. Taking the opposite tack by touting the minivan as a totally urban-hip vehicle, Toyota's "Swagger Wagon" YouTube video is a hit for the Sienna minivan. Watch it here. This is how it's supposed to be done, by the way, unlike the horrifically bad Chrysler/Dodge minivan commercials. (5/26/10)

The 5-series GT is too big, too expensive, too unattractive and too un-BMW-like for this market, other than that it’s just super. Despite optimistic pronouncements to the contrary, there was growing concern within BMW that the 5-series GT is "the dog that won't hunt" in the U.S. market. BMW leadership put a brave face on things, suggesting that they didn't get the model mix right at intro and told dealers to be patient - blah-blah-blah - but the writing was on the wall. (5/26/10)

Right. Reuters reported that Coda, the Santa Monica, California-based start-up electric car company had raised $58 million in its latest financing round, increasing the company’s total invested capital to more than $125 million. Coda planned to use the new money raised to support the market entry of its all-electric sedan and to expand the number of production lines for its lithium-ion battery systems. The company not only planned to sell an all-electric car with a range of up to 120 miles priced in the low $30,000s, it planned to open an assembly plant in Los Angeles County too. And it expects to deliver 14,000 of its electric cars in California, all by the end of 2011. (5/26/10)

A decline in U.S. car culture brought on by the Digital Revolution? Paraphrasing Samuel L. Goldwyn: Include us out. A lengthy article in this week's AdAge insists that America's love affair with the automobile is not only undergoing a "transformational shift," but is rapidly drawing to a close, and that the "millennials" generation is supplanting interest in cars with interest in digital media and social networking technology. The end result? An increase in public transportation and a permanent, irrevocable shift away from personal transportation, "car culture" and anything and everything to do with the automobile as we know it today. But no worries yet, because we're basically going to be the same country 20 years from now, according to the article. But this transformation is coming - allegedly - and we'll all be riding in shiny, happy, smiley pod cars in no time. (6/2/10)

Autoextremist.com. Editor-in-Chief's Note: Eleven years of the High-Octane Truth? It can't be...uh, then again, some days we can feel every single hour of it, to be honest, but here we are. I'd like to thank WG for hanging in and keeping me - and this publication - together, and thanks to Dr. Bud for occasionally - and hilariously - showing up. And thanks to all of our loyal readers out there who put up with us every week. Onward. – PMD (6/2/10)

(Ford)

Ford. With a growing parts portfolio containing more than 9,000 part numbers, the official Ford-licensed restoration parts program licenses parts for Ford-built vehicles from the Model T to those made as recently as the early 2000s. Every component is produced by one of the officially licensed suppliers, made to Ford Motor Company standards using original factory tooling, then carefully checked against original blueprints to ensure quality and aesthetics before being offered for sale. No longer do enthusiasts have to spend hours online looking for rare new old stock parts, nor do they have to wander through scrap yards looking for used parts for their classics. Chances are the part is available new and just a mouse click away. For example, enthusiasts can now build nearly a complete 1967 Mustang from the ground up using brand-new reproduction components. About 98 percent of the Mustang’s parts are being reproduced. Check it out here. Very cool. (6/9/10)

And how long before he runs this company into the ground too? From the "Uh-oh" File comes word that "Minimum Bob" Nardelli has been named non-executive chairman of Ohio-based NewPage Corp., a former unit of MeadWestvaco Corp. The company makes coated paper products. Cerberus acquired NewPage back in 2005 for $2.3 billion, according to the Dayton Daily News and Automotive News. Nardelli assumed the reins today (June 15) while the former CEO, Chairman and vice president of human resources left NewPage for parts unknown. How long before Nardelli makes a pronouncement about orchestrating "the reinvention” of the paper industry? (6/16/10)

We don’t know what it says, exactly, but we had fun doing it. Ford ran a 2011 Mustang V-6 for 1,457 laps and 776.5 miles on one tank of gas at Bristol Motor Speedway, registering 48.5 mpg.  (6/23/10)

Uh, are you guys sure a month is going to cover it? We're just askin'. Toyota added more time - about a month - to its typical development process to instill more quality checks. (7/7/10)

Make no mistake, folks. This is a very big deal. Editor-in-Chief's Note: EcoMotors International, the suburban Detroit-based company, secured $23.5 million from Microsoft Chairman Bill Gates and venture capitalist Vinod Khosla, head of Khosla Ventures of Menlo Park, California, which owns 47 percent of EcoMotors. The investment will go directly for engineering and testing of its trademarked Opoc engine technology, which was conceived by Peter Hofbauer, the former head of powertrain development at Volkswagen and now chairman and chief technology officer of EcoMotors. We had EcoMotors CEO Don Runkle on our "Autoline After Hours" show not long ago and it was clear to me that this company is on to something with this engine. In fact, it might just power the transition from ICEs to the eventual application of full hydrogen power one day. The opposed piston-opposed cylinder (yes, you read that correctly) EcoMotors engines use 50 percent fewer parts than standard engines, while delivering 50 percent more fuel efficiency, and the company has already begun development of its sixth-generation Opoc engine. The Opoc design is ultra-compact, highly-efficient and produces excellent power, and this new engine could fundamentally alter our mainstream cars and trucks, not to mention future racing cars. Note, I said our mainstream cars and trucks, not our future fringe electric fleet. – PMD (7/14/10)

Paging Hard-core Corvette Geeks. We bet for some of you out there the factory tour and factory delivery of your new Corvette just wasn't quite enough. Now, you can actually help build the engine in your 2011 Corvette ZR1 or Z06. For $5,800 (you have to pay the cost of getting to Detroit on top of that), a Corvette buyer can order something called the "Engine Build Experience" package and will be given access to GM's double-secret Performance Build Center in Wixom, Michigan - where engines for the ZR1 and the Z06 are built by hand - and will actually get to work side-by-side with a professional technician and build the engine for the Corvette ZR1 or Z06 that they've ordered. They will start from the bare aluminum block and go from there, by hand. When finished the engine is tested on a dynamometer and the builder gets to add a personalized nameplate. Then the engine is sent to the Corvette assembly plant in Bowling Green, Kentucky, for installation in the car. The engines - whether built by the customer or by the professional technician - are covered by a five-year/100,000-mile warranty. The Engine Build Experience package also includes a concierge service that will set up most of the arrangements. Cool, huh? (7/14/10)

But if it were our real money then we'd get two Ferrari 458 Italias and call it a day. The Good News? Rumors suggesting that Porsche was probably going to build the Super Duper OMFG Porsche 918 Spyder, the hybrid-assist supercar that made its debut at the Geneva auto show last March were true. The Bad News? It may cost as much as 500,000 euros, or around $613,000. Porsche had said that it needed at least 1,000 sales pledges to commit to building the car, but more than 2,000 people have expressed serious interest. Would we want one here at AE? Oh, hell yes, and if Porsche would like to drop-off a long-term test car we'd be more than happy to enjoy it. (7/14/10)

From the "Just When I Thought I Was Out... They Pull Me Back In" File. Jim Press, former head of Toyota Motor Corp.'s U.S. operations and former Chrysler Group vice chairman and president, has been working for the Renault SA-Nissan Motor Co. alliance as a consultant for the group's global sales and marketing function, according to a Bloomberg report. Press has been involved with the alliance for about four months, Simon Sproule, a spokesman for the alliance, confirmed. “He's visited with our dealers in the States, Europe and Japan and has already begun providing substantial input,” Sproule told Bloomberg by phone. (7/14/10)

Oh, noooooooo, you mean people are actually going to have to be accountable for their stupid and/or incompetent behavior behind the wheel? It seems that NHTSA is discovering through analysis of vehicle data in unintended acceleration cases involving Toyotas that people were stepping on the gas pedal and not the brake in many instances, according to leaked reports. Oh what a world, what a world... (7/14/10)

Sounds good to us. Peter Bejin, the craftsmanship supervisor at the Chicago facility where Explorer will be produced had this to say: “Crafting a high-quality vehicle is like preparing a gourmet meal. You start with high-quality ingredients, execute your recipe with flawless preparation and finally, present it with flair and panache.” (7/28/10)

Joe DeMatio. Editor-in-Chief's Note: Joe is one of the best in the business of writing about automobiles and one of our favorites, but his "My Father's Footsteps" story in the September issue of Automobile - where he retraces the footsteps of his father, Warrant Officer Robert J. DeMatio, as his 118th Field Artillery Battalion, 30th Infantry Division, XIX Corps, United States 1st Army, hits Omaha Beach two weeks after D-Day and then makes its way through Europe right up until VE-Day, with Officer DeMatio keeping a detailed, typewritten journal every step of the way - is simply outstanding. The fact that Joe is reporting on the new Cadillac CTS-V Coupe as well and how American power - at least automotive power, anyway - is still embraced on the Continent just adds to the piece. But the heart of the story - about a different time and a different, more noble and purposeful era, and the indelible connection between fathers and sons - is why it's superb, and a must read. – PMD (8/4/10)

Uh-oh. Who you gonna call now, Ghostbusters? The National Highway Traffic Safety Administration reported that brakes weren't applied by drivers of Toyota vehicles in at least 35 of 58 crashes blamed on unintended acceleration, after analyzing data recorders or "black boxes." NHTSA also saw no evidence of electronics-related causes for the accidents in a report to lawmakers. (8/11/10)

Editor-in-Chief's Note: The passing of Jerry Flint last weekend, long-time auto industry reporter and commentator, marks the end of an era in this business. Tough and not shy about his opinions, Flint made his presence known to auto industry executives, some of whom were ill-equipped for Flint's brand of candor. Auto industry analyst Joe Phillippi told Automotive News that he referred to Flint as “the Senator” and said he'll be “missed though not by the fools, bumblers and knaves he so often skewered.” – PMD (8/11/10)

(Ford)
The Magnificent Beast - aka the 2011 Shelby GT500 - was on the short list for the AE Car of the Year.

Editor-in-Chief's Note: This week marked the annual celebration of the automobile like no other in the world. The Woodward Dream Cruise has grown into a cultural phenomenon that refuses to be battered by a dismal recession-depression that has crippled this state while remaining defiant in the face of the near total collapse of one of this country's showcase industries, or cowed by a bi-coastal movement that would sentence us to glorified clown cars guided by unseen forces with our "best interests" in mind. The fuel-injected dreams on display and the passion that exudes from the people driving or watching is a sight to behold, and frankly, after all of these years - and in spite of the looming Green stranglehold that is hell-bent on turning us into Rickshaw Nation - it never gets old. Raucous, delightfully unruly at times, gut-wrenchingly loud and wildly satisfying, the Woodward Dream Cruise remains - refreshingly so, I might add - unspoiled, unfettered and free. Free of the hand-wringing, free of the political posturing, and free of the tight-assed stuffiness that makes other so-called must see "celebrations" of the automobile so damn boring and predictable, the Woodward Dream Cruise is a grand celebration of creativity and enthusiasm for of one of our - as human beings - most basic, yet seductively passionate pursuits - the freedom of mobility. Long may it be vital, and fun. – PMD (8/18/10)

CLICK HERE TO VIEW A GALLERY OF THE WOODWARD DREAM CRUISE...

Oh the horror, the horror. Memo to the swells in charge at the Pebble Beach Concours d'Elegance: Is it our imagination or did the 1933 Delage D8S Roadster that took home the top prize at the annual auto extravaganza look like a frickin' kit car? That's it? It just didn't seem all that special to us, certainly not worthy of the high-falutin' OMG "Best of Show" award. (8/18/10)

As Joe Pantoliano's "Guido the Pimp" character said so famously in "Risky Business" - "Time of your life, eh kid?" Sergio Marchionne, the all-knowing, all-seeing automotive guru shocked a few members in the media when he informed the keyboard-stained wretches gathered for the Joe Biden Puff Tour of the Jeep plant in Toledo that it would be "difficult" for Chrysler to make a profit this year. Whaaa? Now wait a minute, didn't he say - like five minutes ago - that Chrysler was going to blow the socks off this business (in so many words), and that things were so damn rosy that it just couldn't get any better? Yes, it's the hard, cold, High-Octane Truth, folks, but what did happen between then and now, exactly?  Did sun spots intervene? Or did Sergio just run out of his personalized chromium-tipped shovels? But, not to worry as Sergio reminds us, because after all it's not his - or Chrysler's - fault but rather it's those damn loans from the U.S. Treasury, which translated directly into debt that is just killing them. Killing them. But it's all good, according to The Maestro of Machiavellian Musings - at least when it comes to Chrysler's future, and especially around career politicians like Biden - because they're super engaged and on-target. No product other than the new Grand Cherokee to speak of for the next six months, but it's all gonna be good, you'll see. Uh-huh.  (8/25/10)

(GM)
The Chevrolet Suburban celebrated its 75th Anniversary - the first vehicle to reach 75 years of production - and Chevrolet is commemorating the milestone with a special 2010 75th Anniversary Diamond Edition model (above right, next to a 1936 model). (8/25/10)

Prove that you're just not another opportunistic corporate financial weasel who has just been given the keys to the candy store for no apparent reason other than the fact that you were next on deck and you were "acceptable" to Wall Street. Or not. Editor-in-Chief's Note: The Good News? Dan "Lieutenant Dan" Akerson takes the reins of GM this morning as CEO. The Bad News? Despite all of the heavily orchestrated "get to know Dan" media coverage over the last two weeks, I have not seen one good reason - not one - for this guy to assume control of a car company. Can I repeat that? Not one. Good luck, Dan, you're gonna need it. And by the way, if you don't know what they're talking about in a meeting that has something to do with product? Shut-up and listen before weighing-in with your brilliance. The instant "experts" who have run roughshod over this business over the last 20 years have left a legacy of glaring mistakes, poor decisions, bad judgment and enough flat-out incompetence to last a lifetime. Please try not to add to that legacy, okay? And remember one more thing. Just because this job fell into your lap doesn't mean you're qualified for it. – PMD (9/1/10)

That's hot. And just how hot is Audi in China? Audi sales were up a whopping 68 percent in August to 22,358 vehicles. Not only that, year-to-date sales in China were up 63 percent (152,782 vehicles). Audi just announced that its dealers in Chi­na will invest 100 million euros ($128 million) over the next three years to improve their facilities, while the luxury division targets selling 300,000 cars in China by 2012. (9/8/10)

That's just the Korean Way of auto executive "accountability." Never a stable career path by any measure, Korean auto executives have to be a hardy lot, because they can get exited from a company at any given moment. Just ask Chung Sung-eun, the former vice-chairman and CEO of Kia Motors who got unceremoniously broomed after the automaker had to recall over 100,000 vehicles globally over defective electric wiring. “His resignation comes in the light of the recent global recall issued by Kia Motors,” Kia spokesman Michael Choo said. He was replaced by President Lee Hyoung Keun. Resignation? Right. He was probably escorted out of the building at gunpoint. (9/8/10)

Good stuff.  Cadillac unleashes its new advertising tag line - "The New Standard for the World" - with this 1-minute spot for the CTS-V called "Competition" which was shot by Jeff Zwart at the Nurburgring in June. Go here. (9/8/10)

A giant rice bowl of Not Good. From the "Here We Go Again" File comes word that Japanese authorities intervened in the foreign-exchange market today, launching the dollar up sharply against the yen.  They say the move is Japan's first foreign-exchange market intervention in more than six years. Really? We find that hard to believe. It may have been the first official move in six years, but when foreign currency manipulation is part of the standard operating procedure of Japan, Inc., we're not buying that explanation. (9/15/10)

How about making all of your vehicles as great as the GTI? That's how you'll create an emotional connection with the U.S. enthusiast consumer. Jonathan Browning, the new head of VW's American operations, told a news conference in Washington, D.C., on Monday that "We want VW to become an essential part of the U.S. automotive landscape. Our task is to create an emotional connection with the U.S. consumer." Memo to Mr. Browning and the know-it-all VW executives in Germany behind him (the ones pushing the ridiculous sales goal of 800,000 units in the U.S. for VW by 2018): You can't get there from here by building crap-tastic, cheap-assed Jettas and trying to pawn them off as Real Deal VWs. As jaded as American auto consumers are, you don't have a snowball's chance in Hell of making that happen. (9/15/10)

Not bad for a cup of coffee. Love it or hate it, the little tidbit you didn't know about the Nissan "Polar Bear" commercial for the all-new, all-electric Leaf is that Joel Ewanick was the guy who green-lighted the spot while he was having the proverbial "cup of coffee" - a five-week stint as CMO - at Nissan down in Nashville before he became the Chief Marketing Guru for GM. (9/15/10)

But if they asked us, these would be our words of wisdom flying across the conference room table at the very first meeting. "Well, first-off, you can start by stop screwing things up. And secondly, you're in the car business (last time we checked) and you better get back in it. And finally, what's with those touchy-feely, huggable ads you're running? Who's your target market with that crap? Zombies?" Mark Hogan, the longtime industry veteran (including 30 years at GM) has been hired to be an adviser to Toyota's North American operations. Good luck with that, Mark. (9/15/10)

Here's an idea, Mr. Li: Sit down and shut up, Part III. Li Shufu, the chairman of Zhejiang Geely Holding Group says that he plans to build as many as three new plants in China and eventually make - and sell - 300,000 Volvo vehicles a year there, according to the Wall Street Journal. Volvo sold 335,000 cars total around the world including just over 24,000 vehicles in China in 2009. Uh, let's review, shall we? Volvo has no brand image in China, like zero. Not only that, but Volvo as a company is in deep trouble. Now all of this is supposed to come good by 2015 or so just because they're going to throw money at it? How about oh hell no? (9/15/10)

Showing up and stating the obvious is not praiseworthy in my estimation, so I suggest everyone take a step back and look at Rattner for who he is: A blatant opportunist who got to do his book research on the U.S. taxpayer's dime. Not Good doesn't even begin to cover it. Editor-in-Chief's Note: We didn't know whether to give three "down" arrows to Rattner for his wildly predictable "insider's" tome about a company that was clearly culturally bankrupt 20 years ago, or the media, who, in their frothing frenzy at not being able to get the inside story, have been canonizing the guy who did. So we included both. When we started this website eleven years ago, I documented in detail GM's insular bureaucracy, the rampant go-along-to get along mentality, the virulent bean counters who dumbed-down the company's product efforts at almost every opportunity, the "intransigent middle," the vast middle management layer that paralyzed the company from within by road blocking any meaningful progress at every turn, the legions of woefully ill-equipped marketing experts led by ex-P&G guru John Smale and his chief acolyte Ron Zarrella - who favored process over product and who almost single-handedly brought the company to its knees ten years before the bankruptcy - the pitifully lethargic board of directors, who basically did jack shit for their entire tenures - and make no mistake, anyone who thinks the current board is somehow miraculously better is kidding themselves - and on, and on, and on. Memo to the misguided hordes slathering praise on Rattner: The guy is a Wall Street Slickster in the classic sense who happened to be given unbridled access to the implosion of a once-iconic American company and who later got his ass caught in some embarrassing and unsavory circumstances back in his Wall Street milieu. Period. – PMD (9/22/10)

Board stiff. Through years of its various permutations the GM Board of Directors has been the longest-running embarrassment masquerading as a functioning corporate governing body that corporate America has ever witnessed. Non-decisions compounded by bad decisions has been its ongoing mantra for over 30 years and the newly configured board is shaping up to be no better. That Steven Rattner thinks the current board is finally acceptable should give anyone about to jump "all in" to the IPO pause. Just remember one thing: It won't be the ex-Wall Street glad-handers or the politically connected minions on the board who will save GM, it will be the True Believer product troops in the trenches who will get it done. (9/22/10)

Thus the fundamental challenge for the UAW as it attempts to participate in the auto business going forward: Jobs at reduced pay, or no jobs at all. Remember that new spirit of cooperation that Bob King has been touting since he took over the union's top job? How's that working out so far? GM began shutting-down its Indianapolis stamping plant yesterday after UAW workers emphatically rejected a proposed 50 percent pay cut that a potential new owner of the plant was seeking in order to do business there. GM spokeswoman Kim Carpenter confirmed that GM had ended its search for a potential buyer. “We are disappointed that UAW Local 23 was not able to ratify the proposed labor agreement,” Carpenter said in an e-mail to Automotive News. "As previously announced, we will continue steps to wind down the facility, which will cease production in mid-2011 and close by December 2011.” Gregory Clark, UAW Local 23 shop chairman, said the plant's 650 workers would take their chances transferring to another GM plant should jobs open, because the proposed cuts were unacceptable. He also said about one-third of the hourly work force is eligible to retire. (9/29/10)

And make no mistake - it was worth every last minute of your efforts. Editor-in-Chief’s Note: You just knew that the hand-wringers would polish-up their chrome pitchforks and come out of the woodwork to lay out GM’s Chevrolet Volt for some egregious slight against all that is right and good with the electric car movement and its increasingly annoying fanatics. Well, pay no attention to any of that noise because it’s total, unmitigated bullshit. Just the time and space achievement alone – cramming a minimum of eight years' development time into four – would be enough for effusive accolades in my book, but the seamless performance of this vehicle and the way it goes about its business is truly amazing. And no, the electric car will not replace the internal combustion engine-powered car anytime soon. As a matter of fact my view of the electric car hasn’t changed one bit. It’s a niche solution that’s part of a kaleidoscope of power choices made up of pure electric, extended-range electric, hybrids, diesels, diesel-hybrids, hydrogen fuel cells, etc., etc., that will propel our transportation system of the future. Electric cars will have a role, but they will not approach 10 percent of the world automotive market before 2030, and that’s at the earliest. And one more thing. I get the fact that there are legions of naysayers out there who still believe and remain absolutely convinced that anything associated with a Detroit-based car company has to be derided and mocked and must be junk, but they’re going to end-up stewing in the narrow-minded confines of their own bile-filled thoughts as the rest of the world – automotive and otherwise – embraces the Chevrolet Volt for what it well and truly is: A technological tour of force for this or any other century and a glittering reaffirmation that there is such a thing as American ingenuity, that we haven’t completely devolved into a parasitic consumer society that can’t build anything of consequence anymore, and that we can and will fight our way out of this morass of mediocrity that has plagued this industry – and this country I might add – for far too long. So kudos to the entire team at General Motors Corp. and to their capable suppliers who gave four long years of their lives to this project. You should be very proud and you are to be commended for a job well done. – PMD (10/13/10)

And given everything else that’s going on, that’s really saying something. Can Transportation Secretary Ray LaHood be any more clueless and irrelevant? His latest bone-headed remark came when he spouted off in a recent interview with Bloomberg News that it might be time for the government to consider banning all cell phone use in cars, including the use of hands-free technology. Really? Why don’t we ban radios in cars altogether, Ray? Wouldn’t it be better if people didn’t listen to the radio at all? After all, if we remove music from the equation completely, imagine how much safer we’d all be, right? Uh, except you better think twice about that, Ray, because if you did that we wouldn’t have anything to distract us from thinking about the blithering idiots and relentless assholes masquerading as our so-called representatives in Washington. And just in case you’re confused, Ray, that means you, too, even though you were “appointed.” LaHood and his stable of stumblebum advisors have to be the most embarrassing show in Washington, D.C., at the moment. (10/13/10)

Holy shit, Mark! Porsche is blocking its employees from accessing social-networking websites such as Facebook Inc. and Xing to protect the sports-car maker from industrial espionage. If only it were a trend in the making. (10/13/10)

Just call him “Master of the Obvious” 2010. Walter de’ Silva, the Volkswagen Group design director, told Automotive News in an interview at the Paris auto show that, "I really hope to be able to add something positive to Porsche's new models, which will remain coherent with the great tradition of Porsche.”  De' Silva’s influence on Porsche will first be felt on the new Cajun SUV, Porsche’s version of the Audi Q5. Good luck with that, Walter. (10/13/10)

Kind of the essence of being successful in this business, isn't it? Derrick Kuzak, Ford group vice president in charge of global product development, says that the company is making more money on each new vehicle it sells because consumers find the new Ford and Lincoln lineup appealing and they've built higher feature content into their vehicles, which raises the average transaction price. (10/20/10)

U Rock, Beth! The Detroit Economic Club - led by president Beth Chappel - has been around for over 75 years and is one of the most respected forums for high-profile political and business leaders in the country. To its credit, the club canceled Steven Rattner's upcoming appearance, disinviting "the Ratt-man" after his, ahem, unsavory business with the New York pension fund came to light. (10/20/10)

You're Mistaking Us For People Who Actually Give A Shit. Kia signed a two-year extension of its sponsorship deal with the NBA through the league's 2011-2012 season. (10/20/10)

(Porsche Cars North America)
The 911 GT2 RS is the fastest and most powerful road-going sports car Porsche has ever built. After its worldwide debut less than two months ago at the Moscow Auto Show, the limited-edition  620-horsepower 911 is sold out, with customer commitments for all 500 units to be built.  Here in the U.S., Porsche has pre-sold 133 of the turbo beasts, all of which will be delivered to eager owners in February 2011. (10/20/10)

(Porsche Cars North America)
Porsche Cars North America embarked on a quest to find the oldest Porsche sold in America, as part of its 60th anniversary celebration. The Porsche Classic Search, conducted online at www.Porsche60Years.com, encouraged individuals from coast to coast to submit documentation that his or her Porsche was one of the earliest in its category to be retailed on American soil.  The call for entries yielded an impressive collection of finalists, including the oldest U.S.-retailed model found, a lovingly restored 1952 Strawberry Red 356 Cabriolet owned by Dr. Robert Wilson of Oklahoma City, Okla. Wilson's car was imported in November of 1952 by Austrian businessman, Max Hoffman, in New York, who brought the first Porsche cars to the U.S. beginning in 1950. (10/20/10)

But for now, I'll take it. Editor-in-Chief's Note: We got a glimpse at Chevrolet's new advertising campaign on the 2010 Major League Baseball World Series broadcast on Fox. The new campaign is aimed squarely at reconnecting the Chevrolet brand with America and the American fabric - without directly wrapping the work in the flag - and it uses the theme line "Chevy Runs Deep." On the surface the new tagline doesn't seem substantial enough - criticism of it runs deep to say the least - but within context of the visuals and themes as presented in the new work it does fit. But I keep going back to the question: Is it big enough? Or is it just a positioning line short-handed to fit the spots? That remains to be seen. Right now I'm willing to give Goodby, Silverstein & Partners the benefit of the doubt, but I'm wondering how long it will take for "Chevy Runs Deep" to register with the American consumer public, if it's able to resonate at all. I have no quibbles with the strategy, because it is dead nuts accurate and it's presented in executions ranging from a :60 anthem spot - which is too wordy but does have some outstanding visuals - to three :30s that "illuminate Chevy's connection to defining moments in American life" as Chevy operatives put it, that are downright charming in their execution and powerful in their simplicity. Joel Ewanick, GM Marketing's Chief, is right to go after work that captures the essence of Chevrolet and its role in American life and in the American fabric, because that's what Chevrolet has meant to this nation and to deny it is just plain silly. I'm more favorably disposed to the work overall than I am to the tagline, but the net-net of it is that I think it's a fine first effort for the new Chevrolet creative and marketing team. Do I expect more? Yes, of course I do. I expect subsequent developments and executions of the campaign to be that much better. – PMD (10/27/10)

Rattner and his fellow Wall Squeaks were nothing more than carpetbaggers empowered to "fix" an industry by force, which in turn allowed them to enhance their natural state of unbridled arrogance and "Masters of the Universe" hubris even further. Malcom Gladwell recounted Steven Rattner’s loathing of the fact that he had to physically come to Detroit - as opposed to just phoning it in - in his review of Rattner’s book "Overdrive" in The New Yorker: "One would have thought that a man as savvy as Rattner would have made the Detroit visit sound a little less of a burden. The Auto Czar should want to see the industry he is supposedly fixing, shouldn’t he? But this is what makes 'Overhaul' so unexpectedly fascinating. It is the product of someone so convinced of the value of his contribution, and of the private-equity model, that he feels no need to hide his condescension." (10/27/10)

Nicely done, Sergio. A rare "up" arrow for the Fiat-Chrysler CEO, as he blasts the unions that have paralyzed Italy and the Italian auto industry for decades, suggesting - on prime time Italian TV no less - that all five Italian car factories could not match the productivity of Fiat's single Polish plant, and that Fiat would deliver better results if it wasn't tied to the country and its Byzantine unions. This in turn set-off a political firestorm in Italy with much hand-wringing and patriotic bullshit spewing forth from the usual gaggle of opportunistic politicians trying to make hay while the sun shines, but it didn't change the fact that the gist of what Marchionne said is true, and that is the Italian union structure is a joke and that the country will never be able to compete in this age of globalization unless the unions are permanently neutered. (10/27/10)

Japan, Inc. Reuters reported that Nissan's COO, Toshiyuki Shiga, warned that the sky-high value of the yen - a fifteen year high - was reaching crisis levels. "We're way past the point of talking about how the yen's rapid appreciation would damage our earnings, or that we're worried about it," Shiga said. "I feel a huge sense of crisis over the strong yen." It's becoming obvious by now that much of Japan Inc.'s success in this country - and a huge chunk of its profits - were directly the result of the Japanese government's ongoing policy of artificially keeping the yen in check. Now? Not so much. (10/27/10)

How's that whole automotive industry instant “expert" thing working out for you, Warren? BYD Co., the Chinese automaker, saw its third-quarter profit drop 99 percent (!) as its sales fell off a cliff and its shares subsequently declined 10 percent in Hong Kong trading. You may remember that BYD is underwritten by a huge load of cash from Warren Buffett, who went "all-in" betting that BYD and the exploding Chinese auto market would have a bright future together, with even long-term potential of doing business in the U.S. market. (10/27/10)

You guys need to go back to the drawing board. Please. Editor-in-Chief's Note: If this is about putting your best foot, er face, forward, then these guys just blew it. The new print ad for Nissan's "Innovation for All" campaign that debuted this week arrays all of its models front first (except for the Cube, which gets a rear view), with various descriptive lines using innovation beneath the photos, e.g. Nissan Leaf: "Innovation for the Planet" etc. Problem is, the dead front shots present the homeliest melange of piss-poor design executions and in some cases, like the Murano - just absolutely frightening - on the planet. Whatever the train of thought was that yielded this disaster needs to be derailed, because there wasn't one image on there - well, except maybe for the Cube - that said "interesting" or "desirable" or, "yeah, I gotta get me one of those." - PMD (11/3/10)

We'd like to think that the "new" GM will use this windfall perk wisely and it will be all bunny rabbits and rainbows from here on out, but realistically, we'll settle for them not screwing things up again. The headlines blared from the rooftops across the media yesterday as it was revealed that GM won't have to pay $45.4 billion in taxes on future profits, due to the tax benefit from tax-loss carry-forwards and other fine print details, which, as the Wall Street Journal explained: "allow companies to use losses in prior years and costs related to pensions and other expenses to shield profits from U.S. taxes for up to 20 years. In GM's case, the losses stem from years prior to when GM entered bankruptcy. Nice little chunk of change, no? (11/3/10)

And to think we're still waiting for the “Adam” and “Eve” Editions of the Leaf to be announced. We get the fact that Carlos Ghosn is "all in" with this electric car stuff, but, really? Now there are plans for three more electrics from Nissan beyond the Leaf, including a "sporty subcompact" for the Infiniti brand (!), an electric delivery van and some sort of radical, two-seat electric vehicle to be named later based on the LandGlider concept car unveiled at the Tokyo auto show in 2009. (11/3/10)

Yeah, dumb – and ridiculous - like he said. GM, already under the gun to sell its IPO, was also under the gun about how it was going to conduct its IPO road show, as in whether or not private jets should be used to get top executives around the country in an efficient manner. According to a Reuters report, Ed Whitacre - who took advantage of a provision in his 2007 retirement package from AT&T to fly home to San Antonio most weekends from Detroit when he served as GM CEO - said commercial flights would remain the rule for the IPO. "There are no private planes at GM, so there aren't many options," he told Reuters in late September. "You'll go public or drive." That is absolutely ludicrous, according to one (anonymous) banker, as Reuters reported: "It is nuts to think people are going to go wait through security lines. And the possibility you would have a missed flight and that that would affect your ability to sell stock? It would be the stupidest decision on the face of the planet. It's just dumb. It would be so penny-wise, pound-foolish it would be ridiculous." (11/3/10)

Our leading candidate for the 2011 AE "Answer to the Question that Absolutely No One is Asking" Award. More stupidity from those wonderful folks who thought that the Phaeton was right for this market, this time it's a $60,000+ Touareg Hybrid. But we'll let longtime reader "JaredN" from Boston tell it like it is: "I suppose it was too much to expect that the VW brain trust had learned from the Phaeton Fiasco. But the latest evidence suggests that they have not learned a thing: the 2011 Touareg Hybrid will start at $60,565. These SUVs will fly off the VW lots almost as fast as the Routan." Thanks, Jared. And so true. (11/3/10)

(Ford)
Part of the alluring aspect of the SEMA show is that it allows manufacturers to do stuff "just because." Like this "stealth" take on Ford's new Taurus Police Interceptor. "This car offered the perfect canvas for me as a designer," Ford designer Melvin Betancourt said. "The Police Interceptor sedan is already a unique vehicle. I just started looking at ways to give it that mysterious but high-tech look.” The stealth concept Interceptor is lowered an inch, and the special 22-inch wheels are inside a staggered rim section so the front is 3 inches and the rear is 3.5 inches. It also has a trick interior, which goes out of its way to conceal all of the usual police accoutrements. Betancourt used imagery of the famed Lockheed SR-71 "Blackbird" - the invincible U.S. stealth airplane - for inspiration as he customized the vehicle. The high-altitude, long-range reconnaissance aircraft was secretly designed in the late 1950s and early 1960s and was operational for three decades. Its top speed was more than three times the speed of sound and it set many records that have never been approached, including New York to London (World Record-Speed Over a Recognized Course): Distance: 3,461.53 statute miles. Time: 1hr 54 min 56.4 secs. Average Speed 1,806.95 statute mph, set on September 01, 1974, and London to Los Angeles (World Record-Speed Over a Recognized Course): Distance: 5,446.87 statute miles. Time: 3hrs 47min 39secs. Average Speed: 1,435.59 mph, set on September 13, 1974, just to name two. Now retired, the legendary Blackbird is considered by many aviation enthusiasts as the ultimate airplane. Nice tribute to a magnificent airplane, and one bad ass-looking police car.

(wikipedia)

(11/3/10)

This just in: We want those two days back. Former president George W. Bush admitted that he decided to bail out General Motors and Chrysler in early November 2008, far sooner than previously known, according to David Shepardson of The Detroit News, who reviewed an advance copy of Bush's new book, "Decision Points." Bush said that he "had to safeguard American workers and families," and that he acted to avoid the massive economic impact of a collapse of the auto industry, and did not want to saddle President-elect Barack Obama with a "mess." The problem is that Bush made the decision even before the chief executives of GM, Chrysler and Ford went before Congress hats-in-hand asking for help as vehicle sales fell off a cliff in the midst of the worst economic recession in seven decades. Wait a minute, let's back this up. Do you mean we had to sit through the hand-wringing and massively ill-informed pontificating from such unconscionable stumblebum/blowhards as Sen. Richard "They Don't Call Him Dick for Nothin' " Shelby (R - Alabama) and Sen. Mitch "Which Way is the Wind Blowin' Again?" McConnell (R-Kentucky) among others, when the decision had already been made? WTF? (11/10/10)

Could this be the beginning of The End for Coda, er, um, the coda for Coda? Yes. And yes. Coda Automotive, the electric car company fueled, financed and run by the vampires of Wall Street and which based its whole raison d'etre on converting an existing Chinese car platform to electric power, saw its CEO, Kevin Czinger, and its chief of sales, Michael Jackson, leave within a week of each other, long before the car's hopeful introduction scheduled for the second quarter of 2011. Right. Anyone want to bet on the likelihood of these cars ever seeing the light of day? (11/10/10)

Meister Brau. That world-famous Chicago brew - and racer's favorite - that fueled the Midwest in the 50s and 60s was put up for sale, or, at least the brand name was. The beer label was among 150 trademarks that spanned 13 categories ranging from toys to personal-care products that were auctioned off in early December in New York, according to Advertising Age. The trademarks were acquired over the years by Michael Reich, CEO of Brands USA Holdings, who apparently believes now is the best time to sell. "In recent years, there has been a renewed interest around the world in branding that evokes nostalgia, making this auction of classic trademarks a rare opportunity for investors and forward-thinking companies looking to capitalize on the authenticity that they provide in the global marketplace," said John Cuticelli, CEO of Racebrook, which is conducting the auction on behalf of Brands USA on Dec. 8 at the Waldorf Astoria or via online bidding. Meister Brau occupies an important place in U.S beer history. And not just - as AdAge points out - the favorite beer of Cousin Eddie in National Lampoon's "Vacation" movies. No, the real claim to fame for Meister Brau? It was once owned by the Peter Hand Brewery in Chicago, and they were the inventors of the first "Lite" beer back in the late 60s. The Miller Brewing Co. bought Meister Brau in order to get its hands on the "Lite" concept and formula, and the rest, as they say, is beer drinking history. The Peter Hand Brewery also sponsored the famous "Meister Brauser" Racing Team which raced Scarabs and Chaparrals in the late 50s and early 60s with notable drivers Augie Pabst and Harry Heuer. The Meister Brau brand name ended up selling for $32,500. (11/10/10)

But hey, if you're one of those first-on-the-block types who just has to have the latest in country club conversation starters, have at it. Your Fisker Karma - and future automotive afterthought - awaits. Word filtering out from the Green Mountains (the Shiny Happy California ones that is, not the real ones in Vermont) suggests that the Fisker Karma plug-in hybrid sedan is a porker, weighing as much as 5,000 pounds, according to the New York Times. Really? Now there's a shock. Not. Why anyone with at least a modicum of practical knowledge about this business would be surprised by that is beyond me. The looming Fisker train wreck could be spotted years ago. Take a dollop of unbridled design ego - aka Henrik Fisker - add a large measure of hubris, multiply that by a ton of investment money from card-carrying members of the "green" intelligentsia, then add in unending blind praise from a bunch of media types who should have known better, and you have a formula for automotive disaster. At the end of the day Fisker is yet another automotive start-up with lofty goals and pedigreed green-tinged backers that will ultimately fail because of its fundamental inability to come up with a machine that can rival anything from a global automaker with the kind of depth of serious talent and the technical resources at its disposal to do it better. Much better. And lighter to boot.  (11/17/10)

(Cadillac)
Cadillac introduced the Urban Luxury Concept at the L.A. Auto Show. The latest design study from GM's North Hollywood Advanced Design Center explored a new type of compact vehicle that, according to Cadillac, "offers a luxury experience in a diminutive size." In other words, it's a city car. The micro Cadillac seats four, with easy access to all seats available via a pair of scissor-type doors that extend outward and rotate forward when opened. Cadillac projects fuel economy of 56 mpg in the city and 65 mpg on the highway. “This is a new vision in vehicle design that was created to answer the needs of city dwellers,” said Frank Saucedo, lead designer. “It may not look like Cadillacs on the road today, but it shares the comfortable and high-tech elements that owners have come to associate with larger, traditional luxury sedans,” said Saucedo. “As more customers demand premium features even in smaller vehicles, a vehicle like the Urban Luxury Concept could be a solution.” (11/17/10)

GSD&M Idea City. Editor-in-Chief's Note: The Austin, Texas-based ad agency has released its final creative work for BMW North America after resigning the account a few months ago, ending a five-year relationship with the German luxury brand. As reported by Advertising Age, the work involves a series of short films entitled "Unscripted Stories" featuring real BMW enthusiasts from around the world - in stark contrast to the elaborate films BMW backed earlier in the decade with such notables as Guy Ritchie, Ang Lee, Madonna, Clive Owen, Mickey Rourke, etc. - who tell their very personal stories about their relationships with their cars. The work captures the emotional connection people have with their automobiles perfectly. The teaser-trailer for the work is particularly exceptional, you can watch it here. And one of the five short films - this one about Murray Fowler, a 70-something California man who has logged 413,575 miles on his BMW - can be seen here. Take a bow, ladies and gentlemen, this work is simply superb. What a glorious way to go out. – PMD (11/24/10)

Memo to VW: Be careful of that whole "becoming one with the American fabric" thing. That's how Toyota got into trouble. The German automaker is desperately trying to become one with the American fabric (again). Their latest ploy? Giving away the next-gen 2012 Beetle - while only revealing its silhouette - to 275 audience members at a taping of the annual (and last) "Favorite Things" episode of "The Oprah Winfrey Show" this past Monday for delivery sometime in 2011. Pontiac did this back in 2004 with the G6, and, well, we know how that turned out for them - lots of initial buzz and a Oprah-fueled frenzy, then, not so much. Will anyone remember this stunt next year when the audience members actually take delivery of their cars? Doubtful. (11/24/10)

(GM)
The Cadillac Aera concept vehicle shared the top prize in the 2010 Los Angeles Auto Show Design Challenge with Smart while besting entries from seven other automakers including Mercedes-Benz, Honda, Nissan, Toyota and Maybach. GM Advanced Design has now captured the top honor - its third since 2005 - more times than any other design team. Designers were asked to envision the “1,000 lb. car” as an efficient four-passenger vehicle that maintained comfort, safety, driving performance and style. (11/24/10)

“A final note: something that always kind of bugs me is when manufacturers of super expensive cars come to the auto show, then ostentatiously rope their cars off from the Hoi Polloi.  I mean, why bother?  My license has a 90210 address so unless they ask for an income statement I could go over to the dealer and at least sit in one.  Roping your super car off from a kid who just wants to touch one doesn’t make you aspirational, it makes you an asshole.” – Tom Pease, reporting from the L.A. Auto Show for AE. (11/24/10)

Uh, you might want to be careful there, Sparky. We wouldn't want to get ahead of ourselves, now, would we? How Green is GM's valley? Plenty, apparently. GM announced that it would hire 1,000 engineers and researcher types in Michigan over the next 24 months to help develop more electric cars and hybrids. And GM CEO Dan "Lieutenant Dan" Akerson had this to say during an orchestrated PR event at GM's Hamtramck assembly facility for the first production Volt after he drove one out on stage: “Volt clearly demonstrates that we are well on our way and it is especially true when it comes to the electrification of the automobile." (12/1/10)

"Lieutenant Dan" Akerson, Part II. Get a microphone in front of this guy and you can't really stop him, you can only hope to contain him. Brimming with excitement over the launch of the production Volt, Akerson told the assembled keyboard-stained wretches in the media as reported by The Wall Street Journal that, "We will see the electrification of cars in every segment and every model in some form over the next 10 years. This is just the beginning. Some day someone may look at this car and say, 'Isn't it quaint?'" Yup, some day, Sparky, some day. And how could that not be our AE Quote of the Week? (12/1/10)

(John F. Martin for Chevrolet)
GM CEO Dan Akerson gives the "Double-V for Volt" salute at the party for the first production Volt yesterday in Hamtramck. We're not sure if it is for the Volt come to think about it, maybe he's running for something and he just hasn't told anyone yet? (12/1/10)

We couldn't confirm at post time a report that one senior level Toyota executive was overheard yelling to no one in particular while curled up in a fetal position in his office, "Make the bad monster stop, Mommy!" but it does sound about right. The still-under-siege Japanese automaker recalled around 650,000 Prius hybrid models worldwide to fix the hybrid system's cooling pumps. Deemed a preemptive strike to bolster its reputation as a stickler for quality - the recall isn't required - the fix will affect approximately 390,000 vehicles here in the U.S.  (12/1/10)

Wait a minute, weren't you guys supposed to show them "the way" and weren't you other guys supposed to help with that whole capacity thing, and wasn't this supposed to be... oh, never mind. The car company formerly known as The Juggernaut is suing Motors Liquidation Co. - the company responsible for the leftover assets of the "old" GM - and wants $73 million in damages due to the closure of their joint factory - Nummi - in California, earlier this year. Toyota wants some cash-ola to cover their costs. (12/1/10)

Here's an idea, Bob, why don't you just stay there and never come back? The Chief Shit Disturber of the UAW – Bob King - was at it again. Just when we thought he got all-enlightened about the global reality of the auto business after his participation in a State of Michigan trade mission, King and an estimated 150 UAW officials and workers staged a protest yesterday outside the Hyundai-Kia America Technical Center in Superior Township, as reported by the Detroit Free Press, insisting that Hyundai officials should respond to the demands of striking temporary subcontract workers in South Korea who have held a sit-in strike since Nov. 15, demanding to be made permanent employees. UAW President Bob King told the Freep that the union’s support for the temporary Korean workers kicked off the emphasis on global justice he had promised since his election this summer. Really, Bob? Global justice? For what and for whom? No, what this is really about is King's dream to unionize all of the workers at import factories here in the U.S. - who want nothing to do with the UAW, by the way - and he decided that he needed a photo-op just to remind everyone he's still around. Just think about this: It's damn near 2011 and we're still having to deal with this Bush League Bullshit from the UAW? Ridiculous. King is said to be leading a delegation to Korea on Friday to meet with officials from the Korean Metal Workers' Union. (12/8/10)

We've seen this movie before, and it never ends well. A double jolt of down arrows for the Chief Shit Disturber for hiring union organizer Richard Bensinger as a "consultant" and trotting him out at the Hyundai plant yesterday. We feel a train wreck coming, one that will unfold in a scenario something like this: The three domestic automakers, chastened by the Great Recession and the near-death experiences brought on by bankruptcy, return to profitability and claw out a somewhat stable - albeit tenuous - future for themselves using lessons learned to run their business with a focused consistency on the product and a new-found religion as to how not to do it. And then in steps King and his posse demanding to "get theirs" while staging massive strikes when the next contract comes up for renewal, proceeding to run the whole damn thing into the ground all over again. (12/8/10)

Bob Corker, R-Tennessee. The intermittent pain in the ass from Tennessee was lucid and on point to the Chattanooga Times Free Press when he said that it would be "highly detrimental" for VW to allow the UAW to organize workers at its new Chattanooga assembly facility. As picked up by Automotive News, Corker also said that the UAW "breeds an 'us vs. they' relationship, and I just don't think it's healthy for a company to be set up in that regard." (12/8/10)

Boneheads R Us. In addition to the gang of UAW members and officials, the Freep reported that two members of the Detroit Symphony Orchestra - who also on strike, by the way - were also on the sidewalk outside the Hyundai Technical Center yesterday, carrying photos that showed injured Koreans and holding signs with messages such as, “Justice for striking Hyundai workers.” WTF? We won't go into the fact as to why the DSO is on strike - not now and not ever - but suffice to say after living off the cultural largesse of the auto companies for decades, Detroit's cultural institutions are on the ropes because the free money spigot has basically run dry after the worst economic downturn in seven decades. And they have no clue how to fix it. But DSO members walking the picket line yesterday at Hyundai? Please. And we wonder why the state of Michigan has a corrosive reputation as a union-dominated state? We have four words for the DSO: Shut up and play. (12/8/10)

Editor-in-Chief's Note  Our friend Casey Shain (aka "artandcolour") has entertained us - and our AE readers - again this year with his visionary digital illustrations.   Casey is a true talent and it's a great pleasure for us to showcase his work. Check out Casey's 'real' art and his fake cars and his automotive trivia knowledge and collection of antique photos, etc., here. Thanks again to Casey for sharing his distinctive automotive stylings with us. And check out some of our favorites from the year below, with Casey's comments. – PMD

(Digital Illustrations by Casey Shain)

Buick Regal Grand National II: "A tongue-in-cheek look back at Buick's macho phase. I actually had to make the roofline less coupe-like for this retro '80s notchback."

Lincoln Innovator Hybrid: "This is a small crossover sedan, showing that Lincoln's classic styling cues can work on a small, and tall, package. Emphasis is on interior luxury, not load space, and would be marketed as a short sedan with fitted luggage perhaps, and not as a crossover wagon. Twin grille is now de-emphasized a bit by having the center section argent color instead of body color. Perhaps that could be the sign of a Hybrid Lincoln. I really like this spunky little Linc!"

Lincoln MKL: "The Town Car's replacement, using their new styling cues. Emphasis would be on complete isolation and 'American' luxury inside: Lots of bells and whistles and S Class room, for the price of a basic E Class."

Mustang EcoBoost Notchback: "Besides the notchback styling, which I really think Mustang should offer, this car utilizes many of the "hot" GT500 body pieces, but with an emphasis on luxury and the EcoBoost engines. Perhaps a modern-day Grandé without the vinyl roof and Hopsack cloth interior."

Infiniti D20: "Infiniti's premium hatchback entry would stress the performance and luxury aspect of lighter weight and tighter platforms. Perhaps 'silver-dusted' carbon fiber could highlight the interior. Listening to recent rumors, perhaps there could be an AMG version with a highly-tuned 4 cylinder."

VW New Small Hybrid: "I threw out VW's staid Teutonic bodywork and based mine on various French cars, Citroëns and Renault. I emphasized the almost Beetle-like fender bulges and with the glassy greenhouse I think this could really boost VW's image with styling-conscious buyer groups."



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